I feel really bad.
My life has always been pretty busy but all of sudden I don’t seem to be able to fit it all in. Blogging has taken a back seat! For the short period that I have been at it, I have found it a wonderful outlet for my thoughts. At the same time it has helped me improve my writing through the use of different styles and ensure that scattered family and friends are kept in our loop.
On the downside, it takes heaps of time to write up a post and actually post it. Whenever I sit down to write I am plagued by questions about what else I could be doing. Could I finish some outstanding work, could I play with the kids, could I help more around the house with Isabella, could I do some DIY, or even get more involved with any of my charitable outlets?
Do I really have the time for this now and are the benefits significant?
Some time ago I compromised with myself and lowered my own goal posts to two posts a week. Right now I am failing to achieve even that. I hope with this short break between Christmas and New Year, I will find myself recharged and ready to get back to at least that!
Perhaps it is time to declutter as I prepare for this new year?
Monday, December 28, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Dads and lads
I sit here staring into the embers of the fire. Two of my neighbours share in my reverie. The coals glow red and orange, warming us as a chilly breeze cools our necks. Our tents have been pitched for a couple of hours now and the camp is magnificent. Spoilt only by the beer bottles which lie empty on the ground, abandoned and forlorn!
Our sons chase each other around and around the tents, tripping over guy ropes. Spontaneous bouts of wrestling are fiercely contested and quickly over as tears are spilt. Followed seconds later by laughter, grunting, and more tears! Boys!
Their mothers are not so far away but we hope happy in slumber. Toothbrushes, shoes, soap, and warm clothes have been abandoned. Instead dads rules have been implemented and will be strictly applied to our camp site. Very simply, anything girly and clean will be overlooked in favour of good old dirt and slovenly ways. The way boys are meant to be!
The braai is long over. Marshmallows and Marie biscuits have been toasted to cinders. The laughter has been replaced with tiredness. The call to bed is fiercely contended by the youngsters. Loud words are spoken and the tents slowly fill with deep breathing sons. The youngest continues to fight hard but soon succumbs to the allures of sleep. Another day ends, all in preparation for the day to come.
The three old ones talk long into the night. Deep thoughts and life philosophies. Magic moments shared. Soon conversation slows as sleep calls us too. Wearily we head off to our beds. I wonder why I am so blessed. To be able to share life with good friends and neighbours.
And soon I too am fast asleep, on a mattress in a tent, in my neighbours back garden!
Our sons chase each other around and around the tents, tripping over guy ropes. Spontaneous bouts of wrestling are fiercely contested and quickly over as tears are spilt. Followed seconds later by laughter, grunting, and more tears! Boys!
Their mothers are not so far away but we hope happy in slumber. Toothbrushes, shoes, soap, and warm clothes have been abandoned. Instead dads rules have been implemented and will be strictly applied to our camp site. Very simply, anything girly and clean will be overlooked in favour of good old dirt and slovenly ways. The way boys are meant to be!
The braai is long over. Marshmallows and Marie biscuits have been toasted to cinders. The laughter has been replaced with tiredness. The call to bed is fiercely contended by the youngsters. Loud words are spoken and the tents slowly fill with deep breathing sons. The youngest continues to fight hard but soon succumbs to the allures of sleep. Another day ends, all in preparation for the day to come.
The three old ones talk long into the night. Deep thoughts and life philosophies. Magic moments shared. Soon conversation slows as sleep calls us too. Wearily we head off to our beds. I wonder why I am so blessed. To be able to share life with good friends and neighbours.
And soon I too am fast asleep, on a mattress in a tent, in my neighbours back garden!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Mental Block
Sitting up at 02h00 in the morning, trying to rock a child to sleep with rather large eyes, weird thoughts prick the consciousness.
Earlier in the day I had stepped into the pool after another hectic Judo session. I was hot and bothered and keen to cool down. The pool was cool bordering on cold. I slowly waded in until the water was at my waist. I had this feeling that I should dive in and at the same time an overwhelming resistance to that exact thought. I dove in, got wet and felt much better. We all know that it is far better to get in fast and acclimatise than to delay the inevitable. Yet for some reason, my mind prefers the later.
I wondered if this was happening more and more to me as I get older. The refusal of my mind to accept a leap of faith when the alternative is slow and unpleasant. The first thing that popped into my mind; dropping in on my halfpipe!
Just the other day, I took myself off to the Stellenbosch skate park. They have a tiny halfpipe outside for those wanting to learn this great skill. By tiny, I mean it is about a foot high. The one in my garden is just short of six feet high. I stood at the top of this little drop for more than thirty five minutes before I gave up. I was frozen on the lip with only my sweat dripping to the ground. Simply unable to make that small leap of faith in myself! I cannot express in words how my mind procrastinated any movement even though there was almost zero chance of injury. And then I gave up!!!
Walking to my car, I myself to be highly annoyed. Getting there I turned around determined to beat my own fear. At the ramp I found some dude sitting on the side having a smoke. Instead of making matters worse, my new audience of one forced me to make both the mental and physical leap. I dropped in easily! And then did it again, and again!
One foot down, six to go...
I think that same mental block crops up in many other situations in my life. But now I am ready and waiting for it to appear. I intend to take the bull by the horns, throw caution to the wind, and beat this fear back, one crazy moment at a time!
Earlier in the day I had stepped into the pool after another hectic Judo session. I was hot and bothered and keen to cool down. The pool was cool bordering on cold. I slowly waded in until the water was at my waist. I had this feeling that I should dive in and at the same time an overwhelming resistance to that exact thought. I dove in, got wet and felt much better. We all know that it is far better to get in fast and acclimatise than to delay the inevitable. Yet for some reason, my mind prefers the later.
I wondered if this was happening more and more to me as I get older. The refusal of my mind to accept a leap of faith when the alternative is slow and unpleasant. The first thing that popped into my mind; dropping in on my halfpipe!
Just the other day, I took myself off to the Stellenbosch skate park. They have a tiny halfpipe outside for those wanting to learn this great skill. By tiny, I mean it is about a foot high. The one in my garden is just short of six feet high. I stood at the top of this little drop for more than thirty five minutes before I gave up. I was frozen on the lip with only my sweat dripping to the ground. Simply unable to make that small leap of faith in myself! I cannot express in words how my mind procrastinated any movement even though there was almost zero chance of injury. And then I gave up!!!
Walking to my car, I myself to be highly annoyed. Getting there I turned around determined to beat my own fear. At the ramp I found some dude sitting on the side having a smoke. Instead of making matters worse, my new audience of one forced me to make both the mental and physical leap. I dropped in easily! And then did it again, and again!
One foot down, six to go...
I think that same mental block crops up in many other situations in my life. But now I am ready and waiting for it to appear. I intend to take the bull by the horns, throw caution to the wind, and beat this fear back, one crazy moment at a time!
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
Asleep or awake?
I cannot believe how one so little has been able to reprogram my world in just a few short weeks!
My world now spins around a new axis. My darling little girl! It is not that I want it to be that way, it is just the way it is. My memory must be failing rather significantly as I do not remember this being the case when my two boys were babies. It amazes me how helpless babies are. How on earth has the human beast survived when our starts are so fragile, so linked to a mother’s love?
Any yet, regardless of all of our other commitments, we find the time and effort, albeit with great difficulty, to be there when she is hungry, wet, and unhappy. Somehow we will do our best by her and make sure that she is able to grow into her future.
Unfortunately helping her means sacrificing many other aspects of life, the most telling of course being sleep. There are many other things that get neglected, like our other children, ourselves, each other, the garden, the house, the cooking and my blog. From having a highly organised life, we have devolved into a state of getting through the day.
Last night in my absolute exhaustion, whilst falling asleep at the dinner table in front of some good friends, I knew with certainty that this too must pass. Although probably not before my bad manners are exposed on many more occasions!
The thing is, I would not have it any other way...
My world now spins around a new axis. My darling little girl! It is not that I want it to be that way, it is just the way it is. My memory must be failing rather significantly as I do not remember this being the case when my two boys were babies. It amazes me how helpless babies are. How on earth has the human beast survived when our starts are so fragile, so linked to a mother’s love?
Any yet, regardless of all of our other commitments, we find the time and effort, albeit with great difficulty, to be there when she is hungry, wet, and unhappy. Somehow we will do our best by her and make sure that she is able to grow into her future.
Unfortunately helping her means sacrificing many other aspects of life, the most telling of course being sleep. There are many other things that get neglected, like our other children, ourselves, each other, the garden, the house, the cooking and my blog. From having a highly organised life, we have devolved into a state of getting through the day.
Last night in my absolute exhaustion, whilst falling asleep at the dinner table in front of some good friends, I knew with certainty that this too must pass. Although probably not before my bad manners are exposed on many more occasions!
The thing is, I would not have it any other way...
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Perfection - overrated!
Being a wanna be perfectionist makes life hard! I like having my ducks in a row. Well, truth be told, I don’t have any ducks, but I like my books aligned on the bookshelves, flowers growing parallel to the bed borders, the pool sparkling, and all clutter packed away!
I like having a plan for life and then celebrating as it runs smoothly according to that plan. Lately though, the plan seems horribly flawed. Celebrations are few and far between, weeds are growing in the driveway, bugs are gnawing on the vegetables, and the dishes are piling up in the sink!
The rot seems to have started with the small members of the house; they just fail to fall into line when told to do so. What is with that? Backchat, whining, arguments, and tears. Even the animals seem to have minds of their own, pestering for food well before their allotted meal times. Everyone seems to be fighting; be it cat on cat or brother on brother. Have they not read the memo on keeping it together, sometimes backing down even when you are right! We will have to go through that speech again, another deviation from the plan.
Unfortunately someone also seems to have forgotten to explain the plan to the new madam of the house. She seems unfazed by the fact that she is still not adhering to the specified night sleeping plan, i.e. sleep when it is dark! Then she carelessly ignores the correct feeding quantities; preferring instead to want more when you don’t have it and not finish what you have when you do. This young lady's attitude is going to have to change and change fast.
Yet it is the smallest and newest member of the household that has opened my eyes.Sitting in the dark, tired as can be, looking into her wide awake eyes, whilst stuffing a bottle into her mouth, I realised something. Life has its own plan. I can choose to fight for my plan or I can accept the myriad of possibilities on offer. Each to be seized as and when they present themselves.
Sometimes it is just fine to revel in disorder and go with the flow. To ignore the dirty dishes, the bugs, and the weeds, and simply rejoice in being alive!
I like having a plan for life and then celebrating as it runs smoothly according to that plan. Lately though, the plan seems horribly flawed. Celebrations are few and far between, weeds are growing in the driveway, bugs are gnawing on the vegetables, and the dishes are piling up in the sink!
The rot seems to have started with the small members of the house; they just fail to fall into line when told to do so. What is with that? Backchat, whining, arguments, and tears. Even the animals seem to have minds of their own, pestering for food well before their allotted meal times. Everyone seems to be fighting; be it cat on cat or brother on brother. Have they not read the memo on keeping it together, sometimes backing down even when you are right! We will have to go through that speech again, another deviation from the plan.
Unfortunately someone also seems to have forgotten to explain the plan to the new madam of the house. She seems unfazed by the fact that she is still not adhering to the specified night sleeping plan, i.e. sleep when it is dark! Then she carelessly ignores the correct feeding quantities; preferring instead to want more when you don’t have it and not finish what you have when you do. This young lady's attitude is going to have to change and change fast.
Yet it is the smallest and newest member of the household that has opened my eyes.Sitting in the dark, tired as can be, looking into her wide awake eyes, whilst stuffing a bottle into her mouth, I realised something. Life has its own plan. I can choose to fight for my plan or I can accept the myriad of possibilities on offer. Each to be seized as and when they present themselves.
Sometimes it is just fine to revel in disorder and go with the flow. To ignore the dirty dishes, the bugs, and the weeds, and simply rejoice in being alive!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Thinking, not writing
So many words have been aimlessly tumbling around in my head for days. Strings of adjectives, pronouns, and a metaphor or two! Prose so pretty it makes me smile. My mind so fatigued with baby demands that it is all but forgotten in an instant.
Work has seen many dormant projects rise out of the ashes like proverbial phoenix’s and clamour for our attention. At a time when everyone is winding down, I find myself winding up. The challenge has awakened my brain which has been lulled into complacency by intra feeding sleeps.
Yet sitting here, my words wither and dry up. Ideas sparkle and vanish without a trace. My head spins with possibilities and what if’s. And the screen in front of me remains obstinately blank. My energy seems to have been spent.
I will try again tomorrow...
Work has seen many dormant projects rise out of the ashes like proverbial phoenix’s and clamour for our attention. At a time when everyone is winding down, I find myself winding up. The challenge has awakened my brain which has been lulled into complacency by intra feeding sleeps.
Yet sitting here, my words wither and dry up. Ideas sparkle and vanish without a trace. My head spins with possibilities and what if’s. And the screen in front of me remains obstinately blank. My energy seems to have been spent.
I will try again tomorrow...
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
A hodgepodge update
It seems like ages since I last posted anything and I am feeling appropriately guilty. So much has been going on; most of it in a state of sleep deprivation!
It gets worse; I even found myself looking forward to a kids birthday party. One of Luke’s friends invited him and I to a camp out on their family farm. Apart from my enjoyment of camping and the ‘coolness’ factor of spending quality time with my oldest, I had an ulterior motive that involved uninterrupted slumber. The lads had a roaring time as did the dads but I was happy to hear the lads ordered off to bed. I found the process of putting my son to bed so tiring that I decided to crawl into my sleeping bag to rest for a while. A howling wind, a lack of fibre in my sleeping bag, and a thin mattress ensured that my sleep was far from comfortable or interrupted. Regardless, it was the best kids birthday party I have ever attended!
The weekend also saw me taking a number of photographs of a family in my new makeshift lounge studio. I was surprised how easy it was to capture some really great portraits. Once again, the blindingly obvious that practise makes perfect shone on through! Although I am far from perfect...
Work has recently come pouring through the door. Hopefully it will keep on coming in although it does mean that my book is now on the back burner again. At least this time I know that I can pick it up at any time and carry on. I will finish it; I have a story to tell and a message to share!
Judo last night was also a revelation. I walked out of the Judoka without a single new injury, a first in many weeks. Please note that I also managed to walk and not stagger out using my two boys as walking sticks. I have a sneaky suspicion that my Judo improvement has something to do with my brain being firmly engaged again! Is it possible that an engaged brain means one is able to perform better in all aspects of life? If so, how do I keep it engaged when not fully engrossed in a project?
And the new star of our family has certainly kept us on our toes. There is no doubt in my mind that the human brain is programmed to forget the constant minding that a new born requires, the sleeplessness, the inability to reason, the complete lack of communication, and the incredible joy of having had a small part to play in this fragile new creation!
All sorts of new charity projects have suddenly sparked my interest. Just this morning I met a chap in the school parking lot who is planning to rent a warehouse to house the homeless in our town. Here I was contemplating the lack of surfable waves and this chap is trying to make the lives of at least 100 people better than ever! I can certainly see myself getting involved in a piece of that. First though, I have to get my Sir Lowry’s Village ‘fix a house’ project going. I have a number of volunteers including a builder. My mom has also made a donation of R1000 to get us started. With a bit of luck, we will be able to make a real difference in the living conditions of a family or two with that.
Dear Isabella is gentle calling me over. I must find out what she needs...
It gets worse; I even found myself looking forward to a kids birthday party. One of Luke’s friends invited him and I to a camp out on their family farm. Apart from my enjoyment of camping and the ‘coolness’ factor of spending quality time with my oldest, I had an ulterior motive that involved uninterrupted slumber. The lads had a roaring time as did the dads but I was happy to hear the lads ordered off to bed. I found the process of putting my son to bed so tiring that I decided to crawl into my sleeping bag to rest for a while. A howling wind, a lack of fibre in my sleeping bag, and a thin mattress ensured that my sleep was far from comfortable or interrupted. Regardless, it was the best kids birthday party I have ever attended!
The weekend also saw me taking a number of photographs of a family in my new makeshift lounge studio. I was surprised how easy it was to capture some really great portraits. Once again, the blindingly obvious that practise makes perfect shone on through! Although I am far from perfect...
Work has recently come pouring through the door. Hopefully it will keep on coming in although it does mean that my book is now on the back burner again. At least this time I know that I can pick it up at any time and carry on. I will finish it; I have a story to tell and a message to share!
Judo last night was also a revelation. I walked out of the Judoka without a single new injury, a first in many weeks. Please note that I also managed to walk and not stagger out using my two boys as walking sticks. I have a sneaky suspicion that my Judo improvement has something to do with my brain being firmly engaged again! Is it possible that an engaged brain means one is able to perform better in all aspects of life? If so, how do I keep it engaged when not fully engrossed in a project?
And the new star of our family has certainly kept us on our toes. There is no doubt in my mind that the human brain is programmed to forget the constant minding that a new born requires, the sleeplessness, the inability to reason, the complete lack of communication, and the incredible joy of having had a small part to play in this fragile new creation!
All sorts of new charity projects have suddenly sparked my interest. Just this morning I met a chap in the school parking lot who is planning to rent a warehouse to house the homeless in our town. Here I was contemplating the lack of surfable waves and this chap is trying to make the lives of at least 100 people better than ever! I can certainly see myself getting involved in a piece of that. First though, I have to get my Sir Lowry’s Village ‘fix a house’ project going. I have a number of volunteers including a builder. My mom has also made a donation of R1000 to get us started. With a bit of luck, we will be able to make a real difference in the living conditions of a family or two with that.
Dear Isabella is gentle calling me over. I must find out what she needs...
Friday, November 27, 2009
Four little wheels
It has been six months since it started serving our family as a tool of rapid acceleration toward bodily injury but it received its own share of abuse last night!
About 16 teenagers from a group called Son Surf descended on our half pipe. Son Surf is a Christian group for surfers, and is very active in our area. Skating and surfing go together as they require similar in strengths in balance, core muscle strength, and careless abandon!
These kids set that ramp on fire! Well not literally! I had no idea that the stunts I saw could be pulled off on my ramp; airs, reverses, and long grinds off the top. The skating madness encouraged me to keep my poor skating skills well hidden; and instead I compensated by sticking a big flash on my camera and documenting the mayhem! There were of course some spills. One mad kid after being dared to get some air into a bush without his shirt, thought nothing of doing it twice! A number of other kids dropped in for their first time, making my own mental inability to do just that look pretty stupid!
What a wonderful group of youngsters. Excitable, energetic, and full of madness! They were also polite and friendly, and certainly seemed to be the kind of kids that I would like my children to have as friends growing up.
Luke got into the thick of things, dropping in and pulling off some tremendous top turns. He almost seemed to grow as the crowd cheered and applauded him. A tremendous boost to his self worth that no money could ever buy!
Chalk up another win for the half pipe!
About 16 teenagers from a group called Son Surf descended on our half pipe. Son Surf is a Christian group for surfers, and is very active in our area. Skating and surfing go together as they require similar in strengths in balance, core muscle strength, and careless abandon!
These kids set that ramp on fire! Well not literally! I had no idea that the stunts I saw could be pulled off on my ramp; airs, reverses, and long grinds off the top. The skating madness encouraged me to keep my poor skating skills well hidden; and instead I compensated by sticking a big flash on my camera and documenting the mayhem! There were of course some spills. One mad kid after being dared to get some air into a bush without his shirt, thought nothing of doing it twice! A number of other kids dropped in for their first time, making my own mental inability to do just that look pretty stupid!
What a wonderful group of youngsters. Excitable, energetic, and full of madness! They were also polite and friendly, and certainly seemed to be the kind of kids that I would like my children to have as friends growing up.
Luke got into the thick of things, dropping in and pulling off some tremendous top turns. He almost seemed to grow as the crowd cheered and applauded him. A tremendous boost to his self worth that no money could ever buy!
Chalk up another win for the half pipe!
Monday, November 23, 2009
Early Days with new Baby
My two girls got home on Friday, one very sore and the other very hungry. Both went straight to bed. Life in my household returned to a semblance of normality with me firmly in the driving seat of moms taxi. I now understand why Donna has to stop off so often for coffee as it is just not a whole heap of fun!
Isabella was very well behaved in the hospital fuelling a new belief that she may be the same at home. My imaginary world even saw me sleeping peacefully through the night!
Night one involved lots of baby attention and very little sleep for any of us. Isabella was understandably a little out of sorts in her new environment. Morning dawned bright and sunny, quite unlike our dispositions. Reality was a little hard to swallow just then! Night two progressed far better with night three only involving two wake up calls.
I still cannot get over the fact that my family has grown by one member. We are no longer four but five. Very scary! The boys seem to have made peace with the idea of a baby sister and we have started to see this new helpfulness flowing from them. Long may that last!
In my imaginary world night four will involve just one feed at two in the morning. At least I will have all day to dream, before that dream is shattered and I create a new one tomorrow! In all of these dreams, I know that I am inordinately blessed!!
Isabella was very well behaved in the hospital fuelling a new belief that she may be the same at home. My imaginary world even saw me sleeping peacefully through the night!
Night one involved lots of baby attention and very little sleep for any of us. Isabella was understandably a little out of sorts in her new environment. Morning dawned bright and sunny, quite unlike our dispositions. Reality was a little hard to swallow just then! Night two progressed far better with night three only involving two wake up calls.
I still cannot get over the fact that my family has grown by one member. We are no longer four but five. Very scary! The boys seem to have made peace with the idea of a baby sister and we have started to see this new helpfulness flowing from them. Long may that last!
In my imaginary world night four will involve just one feed at two in the morning. At least I will have all day to dream, before that dream is shattered and I create a new one tomorrow! In all of these dreams, I know that I am inordinately blessed!!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
To my dear little girl
To my dear darling Isabella,
Yesterday morning you exploded into being in the form of a tiny pink baby. So small, wrinkled, and helpless! I was humbled by the notion that God chose your mom and I to be your parents. To love you, care for you, and possibly even sacrifice our lives for you. I so look forward to getting to know you better, to guiding you as you grow, to hugging you when you are sad, and to helping you explore all that you are.
I could not help but think of the life that lies before the feet you don’t even know that you have. A life wide open with possibilities just waiting to be explored. The choices you will make will either lead you to fulfilment, a mundane existence, or a life of destruction. I hope that I have the strength and wisdom to prepare you for those choices. I pray for the humility and courage to share my life with you and show you a better way to live.
Through all of the arguments we will have, through the failure you will see in me, and through those times when life just does not seem fair, know that through it all, I have loved you from the start. I will always try and give you the best of me, but in those times when it isn’t so, I hope you will forgive me, smile on me, and reach out to me again.
There is a long road ahead of us. I hope that it is filled with much excitement, laughter, and joy. It is only fair to warn you that it will also be filled with disappointments, tears, and loss. Yes, there will be bad times but they will be much easier to bear if we face them together as a family.
Your life, like mine, will be full of its own twists and turns. At times life will flow and at others become incredibly complex. Regardless, I will be there for you whenever you need me!
Remember always that you are special because you are you. That in your uniqueness you have something valuable to offer the world, the gift of you! Cherish life, learn something new each day, challenge those around you, brighten the world with your smile, and love fiercely!
All my love, dad.
Yesterday morning you exploded into being in the form of a tiny pink baby. So small, wrinkled, and helpless! I was humbled by the notion that God chose your mom and I to be your parents. To love you, care for you, and possibly even sacrifice our lives for you. I so look forward to getting to know you better, to guiding you as you grow, to hugging you when you are sad, and to helping you explore all that you are.
I could not help but think of the life that lies before the feet you don’t even know that you have. A life wide open with possibilities just waiting to be explored. The choices you will make will either lead you to fulfilment, a mundane existence, or a life of destruction. I hope that I have the strength and wisdom to prepare you for those choices. I pray for the humility and courage to share my life with you and show you a better way to live.
Through all of the arguments we will have, through the failure you will see in me, and through those times when life just does not seem fair, know that through it all, I have loved you from the start. I will always try and give you the best of me, but in those times when it isn’t so, I hope you will forgive me, smile on me, and reach out to me again.
There is a long road ahead of us. I hope that it is filled with much excitement, laughter, and joy. It is only fair to warn you that it will also be filled with disappointments, tears, and loss. Yes, there will be bad times but they will be much easier to bear if we face them together as a family.
Your life, like mine, will be full of its own twists and turns. At times life will flow and at others become incredibly complex. Regardless, I will be there for you whenever you need me!
Remember always that you are special because you are you. That in your uniqueness you have something valuable to offer the world, the gift of you! Cherish life, learn something new each day, challenge those around you, brighten the world with your smile, and love fiercely!
All my love, dad.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Baby Girl
The good news is that Isabella was born this morning to two very happy parents.
I am afraid that this terrible phone pic will have to suffice for now. more news to follow shortly...
Monday, November 16, 2009
Thank You
Tuesday is a big day in our lives. God willing it will be the day that our third child and first daughter is born. A big day indeed! I honestly have no idea what to do with a daughter; I have a lot to learn! No doubt, I will be emotionally blogging about it shortly!
A number of you good readers of my blog have made me sit up and think a bit harder. I am saddened by all of the feedback about you not being able to submit comments. I have no idea what that is about, but will get busy with some research. Please don’t give up trying!
I am also thoroughly humbled by the type of feedback that I have received about this blog via mail and in person. I had no idea that it had such an impact on so many people. Thank you all for your readership and for your wonderful comments. They are all most appreciated and inspire me to think deeper, live better and write more furiously.
Have a wonderful day!
A number of you good readers of my blog have made me sit up and think a bit harder. I am saddened by all of the feedback about you not being able to submit comments. I have no idea what that is about, but will get busy with some research. Please don’t give up trying!
I am also thoroughly humbled by the type of feedback that I have received about this blog via mail and in person. I had no idea that it had such an impact on so many people. Thank you all for your readership and for your wonderful comments. They are all most appreciated and inspire me to think deeper, live better and write more furiously.
Have a wonderful day!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Old, Sick, & Forgotten
The wind was blowing feebly and the air was chilly due to the weather being sandwiched between two cold fronts. I parked the car at the Sir Lowry’s Pass train station. A lovely building which has been converted into a soup kitchen, and offers the services of a bakery, laundry, ablution block, and counselling room. 200 to 300 people pass through its doors every day, desperate and destitute. A sad reflection of life in this village!
Every day parcels are packed from donations of old Woolworths perishables, and then delivered on foot to the people too old or sick to make the walk to the station. My mission for the day was to join the volunteers as they handed out these parcels. I wanted to see the conditions under which these poor people live, and see if there is any way I can make a difference.
I hooked up with Cathy and Dolly, volunteers who themselves have nothing. Both of their husbands are out of work and money is non-existent. Their attitudes were humbling, instead of feeling sorry for themselves, they were out helping others. With great love and care they delivered the food parcels and chatted to the families in each house. There was much laughter and gaiety as they went about using the gifts of themselves to make a difference in the lives of people forgotten by society.
I met so many people and all gladly invited me, a complete stranger, into their homes for a chat. Some of their homes were lovely, carefully filled with ornaments and mementos. Others were nothing more than hovels. In some holes bigger than footballs peppered the walls and wet patches on the floor remained as testament to the recent violent rainy weather. One woman described how everything inside her house took off in the gale force winds.
God came up in every conversation. I was amazed at the depth of their faith, especially as they stood in broken bodies, in broken shelters, with futures as dim as mud. One man told me how he thanks God every day for his health. This is a man with glycaemia, can barely see, and cannot walk unaided. And he is thankful for his health. He is my new inspiration!
It was a touching morning. I felt that through my presence and conversation, I too had made a difference. But I could do so much more! A friend and I have come up with a plan to seek some funding. Then we aim to purchase materials and start doing home repairs for these people, hopefully training some unemployed youths in the process.
The benefits of a home visit will last a day or two. The benefits of simple repairs may last many years! Hopefully we can pull it off!
Every day parcels are packed from donations of old Woolworths perishables, and then delivered on foot to the people too old or sick to make the walk to the station. My mission for the day was to join the volunteers as they handed out these parcels. I wanted to see the conditions under which these poor people live, and see if there is any way I can make a difference.
I hooked up with Cathy and Dolly, volunteers who themselves have nothing. Both of their husbands are out of work and money is non-existent. Their attitudes were humbling, instead of feeling sorry for themselves, they were out helping others. With great love and care they delivered the food parcels and chatted to the families in each house. There was much laughter and gaiety as they went about using the gifts of themselves to make a difference in the lives of people forgotten by society.
I met so many people and all gladly invited me, a complete stranger, into their homes for a chat. Some of their homes were lovely, carefully filled with ornaments and mementos. Others were nothing more than hovels. In some holes bigger than footballs peppered the walls and wet patches on the floor remained as testament to the recent violent rainy weather. One woman described how everything inside her house took off in the gale force winds.
God came up in every conversation. I was amazed at the depth of their faith, especially as they stood in broken bodies, in broken shelters, with futures as dim as mud. One man told me how he thanks God every day for his health. This is a man with glycaemia, can barely see, and cannot walk unaided. And he is thankful for his health. He is my new inspiration!
It was a touching morning. I felt that through my presence and conversation, I too had made a difference. But I could do so much more! A friend and I have come up with a plan to seek some funding. Then we aim to purchase materials and start doing home repairs for these people, hopefully training some unemployed youths in the process.
The benefits of a home visit will last a day or two. The benefits of simple repairs may last many years! Hopefully we can pull it off!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Going nowhere slowly
How about an update on my truck?
Almost nothing has happened and yet so much has gone into achieving it!
When last I wrote an update, the car was waiting to have itself rewired. After five weeks of more nothing happening, it was decided that not rewiring was not the best option at that point in time. Instead I was convinced to have it resprayed in satin matt black. A whole lot of convincing and an awesome quote for potentially something to happen finally swayed me.
A couple of weeks ago, Tweety as she was fondly known due to her bright yellow plumage, was disassembled. Then all possible holes patched, all pimping removed, blemished filled and smoothed, and every other surface prepared. Finally something actually happened, she was sprayed! Unfortunately the compressor broke down resulting in a blotchy paint job which actually meant that it would have been better had they done nothing too.
More days passed, and nothing kept on happening. Suddenly something happened. She received her final coat of paint. My old useless yellow tyres and mags were swapped out for an awesome set of not yellow mags. Tweety now looks utterly sexy in her black number finished off with some new rubber!
Still have to run her motor, fit the glass, finish the interior, and rewire her. I have given all of my new friends who like my wallet a deadline of 16 December to finish with her. I really want her all to myself!
Almost nothing has happened and yet so much has gone into achieving it!
When last I wrote an update, the car was waiting to have itself rewired. After five weeks of more nothing happening, it was decided that not rewiring was not the best option at that point in time. Instead I was convinced to have it resprayed in satin matt black. A whole lot of convincing and an awesome quote for potentially something to happen finally swayed me.
A couple of weeks ago, Tweety as she was fondly known due to her bright yellow plumage, was disassembled. Then all possible holes patched, all pimping removed, blemished filled and smoothed, and every other surface prepared. Finally something actually happened, she was sprayed! Unfortunately the compressor broke down resulting in a blotchy paint job which actually meant that it would have been better had they done nothing too.
More days passed, and nothing kept on happening. Suddenly something happened. She received her final coat of paint. My old useless yellow tyres and mags were swapped out for an awesome set of not yellow mags. Tweety now looks utterly sexy in her black number finished off with some new rubber!
Still have to run her motor, fit the glass, finish the interior, and rewire her. I have given all of my new friends who like my wallet a deadline of 16 December to finish with her. I really want her all to myself!
The written word
Writing is a strange sport!
There are times when nothing comes to my mind. When I sit in my chair and stare at the screen until the words blur into unintelligible script. I type a few hesitant lines. I delete them all. I edit some text and realise that my edits are worse than the stuff that was there all along. Any distraction is enough to make me leave my spot. Anything has to be better than writing! The tank seems empty, there is nothing more to give!
I should know by now that on days like this, it is better to go surfing and try to write again later.
There are also times when words seem to flow out of my very being, down through my arms and out of my fingers. Which then blur as they touch type the thoughts and emotions that pour out of my soul. Word upon word, paragraph upon paragraph, page upon page, they stream past my eyes.
Sometimes writing just happens. It flows without stopping until it suddenly does. In those times, writing is a pleasure, a joyous exhalation of my spirit! And the stuff I write at these times is nothing short of brilliant.
So good that the few good times are more than enough to inspire me to carry on through the many bad ones!
There are times when nothing comes to my mind. When I sit in my chair and stare at the screen until the words blur into unintelligible script. I type a few hesitant lines. I delete them all. I edit some text and realise that my edits are worse than the stuff that was there all along. Any distraction is enough to make me leave my spot. Anything has to be better than writing! The tank seems empty, there is nothing more to give!
I should know by now that on days like this, it is better to go surfing and try to write again later.
There are also times when words seem to flow out of my very being, down through my arms and out of my fingers. Which then blur as they touch type the thoughts and emotions that pour out of my soul. Word upon word, paragraph upon paragraph, page upon page, they stream past my eyes.
Sometimes writing just happens. It flows without stopping until it suddenly does. In those times, writing is a pleasure, a joyous exhalation of my spirit! And the stuff I write at these times is nothing short of brilliant.
So good that the few good times are more than enough to inspire me to carry on through the many bad ones!
Monday, November 9, 2009
Party in Pink
Saturday saw us up and shining at about 10h00 in the morning. Most unusual as both boys managed to get themselves breakfast and keep quiet since they awoke. Donna and I needed the extra time as we were both utterly exhausted; Donna because of being 10 days away from giving birth and myself with reasons unknown!
Then the doorbell rang, forcing me to put down my book just pages from its conclusion. At my front door, a lady presented me with a bunch of flowers. The attached note told my wife to enjoy her special morning and sorry that the sender could not make it. I asked my wife what was happening this morning. She said she had no idea. We left it at that!
Donna had invited some people over for a late afternoon braai, and so we spent time cleaning the house and getting ready. I made potato salad, just rescuing the potatoes seconds before they boiled to mash and we put the bread maker to work. The doorbell ringing again signalled that our never early visitors were early; who then proceeded to have an amazing argument about who had left the bag containing the meat at home. The clear winner seemed to be his wife; although he nonchalantly popped open a beer and then his wife took my wife to go back to their place to fetch it.
Then chaos erupted! Operation ‘Donna’s stork party’ was underway! With the unsuspecting mother to be again out of the way, and reinforcements in the form of neighbours and friends, it was time to turn my house into a pink sanctuary of fun for women. Just under 30 minutes later and all signs of braai preparation had been replaced by cupcakes, cheese platters, pink champagne, and enough pink presents to make my eyes water.
Soon 28 women crowded into my lounge and I found myself alone and rather disturbingly in my element! My wife arrived and was visibly surprised. Having gone with her friend to collect the missing ‘bag of meat’, she suspected that she was being taken to her stork party. Only to find the missing ‘bag of meat’ as promised at her friend’s house, which as you can imagine was a little disappointing. After much dilly dallying, including wasting a desperate couple of minutes by returning a DVD she had only just rented, friend and Donna arrived home to all of her friends whipped into a frenzy by yours truly. Or perhaps I was imagining things, too much pink champagne!
Somehow despite a number of people RSVP’ing to my wife about her surprise stork party, we still managed to keep it a surprise. She had a wonderful afternoon and our new daughter has been spoilt pink!
I cannot help but thinking back to when our second son matured into toddlerhood. At that time we gave away every bit of baby paraphernalia that we owned. Now, we have been given absolutely everything we need for this baby and more! Most of it better than the stuff we had for both our children! Makes me believe that there is something to the principle of giving to receive!
My family certainly has been blessed. Not because of stuff, but because of the incredible family and friends that surround, care for, and love us. I am not sure how we will ever thank you all!
Then the doorbell rang, forcing me to put down my book just pages from its conclusion. At my front door, a lady presented me with a bunch of flowers. The attached note told my wife to enjoy her special morning and sorry that the sender could not make it. I asked my wife what was happening this morning. She said she had no idea. We left it at that!
Donna had invited some people over for a late afternoon braai, and so we spent time cleaning the house and getting ready. I made potato salad, just rescuing the potatoes seconds before they boiled to mash and we put the bread maker to work. The doorbell ringing again signalled that our never early visitors were early; who then proceeded to have an amazing argument about who had left the bag containing the meat at home. The clear winner seemed to be his wife; although he nonchalantly popped open a beer and then his wife took my wife to go back to their place to fetch it.
Then chaos erupted! Operation ‘Donna’s stork party’ was underway! With the unsuspecting mother to be again out of the way, and reinforcements in the form of neighbours and friends, it was time to turn my house into a pink sanctuary of fun for women. Just under 30 minutes later and all signs of braai preparation had been replaced by cupcakes, cheese platters, pink champagne, and enough pink presents to make my eyes water.
Soon 28 women crowded into my lounge and I found myself alone and rather disturbingly in my element! My wife arrived and was visibly surprised. Having gone with her friend to collect the missing ‘bag of meat’, she suspected that she was being taken to her stork party. Only to find the missing ‘bag of meat’ as promised at her friend’s house, which as you can imagine was a little disappointing. After much dilly dallying, including wasting a desperate couple of minutes by returning a DVD she had only just rented, friend and Donna arrived home to all of her friends whipped into a frenzy by yours truly. Or perhaps I was imagining things, too much pink champagne!
Somehow despite a number of people RSVP’ing to my wife about her surprise stork party, we still managed to keep it a surprise. She had a wonderful afternoon and our new daughter has been spoilt pink!
I cannot help but thinking back to when our second son matured into toddlerhood. At that time we gave away every bit of baby paraphernalia that we owned. Now, we have been given absolutely everything we need for this baby and more! Most of it better than the stuff we had for both our children! Makes me believe that there is something to the principle of giving to receive!
My family certainly has been blessed. Not because of stuff, but because of the incredible family and friends that surround, care for, and love us. I am not sure how we will ever thank you all!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Hacking Horribly in the Helderberg
Yesterday I played golf. Trust me, I am no golfer. When I retrieved my clubs from a cupboard in the garage I removed an SAA baggage tag dated 2006. That was apparently when I last used my clubs. I subsequently removed a couple of hotel brownies and a large chocolate biscuit from my golf shoes. From careful calculations of the amount of mould, my suspicions were confirmed that it had been a long time!
The golf day was a fundraiser, as they all are, for our church and a local charity concern that looks after disabled children. The big event was held at Erinvale Golf Course, a beautiful and challenging course on the side of the Helderberg.
Golf courses frighten me as it seems to be an outward expression of one’s obscene wealth. Unable to do compete, I parked at the far end of the parking lot so as not to cause a stir in the ‘cool’ car section. I then walked around the pro shop, eventually settling on a purchase of a second hand golf ball for R8. The assistant and I were both under no illusions that I did not fit in!
On the first tee, a friend and I met up with the rest of our four ball. Two Scottish chaps in their 70’s! Watching them tee off released plenty of pressure in us as it was clear that our golf was not about to win any competitions. Instead the plan was to have some fun. The sun was hot, the wind whipped my short pants around my legs and I drove a beautiful shot down the fairway. It was the last time I would play off that manicured grass, the longer stuff on the sides seemed so much nicer to my ball!
We laughed and joked, and occasionally even played a decent shot. Two good shots in a row were rare and three unheard of! I discovered that if I put my back into my swing I could almost smack the casing off the ball; sending it straight as an arrow as far as I could see. Unfortunately these sweet shots cost me five balls in rapid succession as they went straight in a direction I had not intended; into a wine farm across a road, into the gardens of houses that probably did not know they lived on a golf estate, and into water hazards that were picnic spots and well off the beaten golf track! Lesson learned – tone down the power swing! My soft shots were still beautiful examples of golfing technique, except that the compass in my R8 golf ball seemed to be on the blink, hence my zigzag up to every green.
The last hole saw me provide a demonstration of my ‘Happy Gilmore’ swing. Tee the ball up high, stand well behind it, start the swing, step to the ball, and hit it hard, hockey style! Much to the delight of the Scotts, the ball took off landing just short of the green. Ironic that whilst trying to control my swing all day I had no direction and with the most uncontrolled swing, I got the direction perfect!
Prize giving saw our 4 ball take last place – 24th to be specific! The rest of the field seemed to have had as much fun as us but used their clubs far less in the process. It still makes little sense to me that you want to spend more on equipment so that you can use it less. Our four ball certainly got its money’s worth!
Lots of money was raised through an auction, at least R100,000 ($12,000). Everyone was only to keen to open their wallets and give generously which is exactly what was needed. My wallet was very shy and so I was glad to slink off to the far end of the parking lot and climb unnoticed into my car.
Suffice to say, golf is not my game and I am an uncomfortable man around people of serious wealth. I just do not relate!
The golf day was a fundraiser, as they all are, for our church and a local charity concern that looks after disabled children. The big event was held at Erinvale Golf Course, a beautiful and challenging course on the side of the Helderberg.
Golf courses frighten me as it seems to be an outward expression of one’s obscene wealth. Unable to do compete, I parked at the far end of the parking lot so as not to cause a stir in the ‘cool’ car section. I then walked around the pro shop, eventually settling on a purchase of a second hand golf ball for R8. The assistant and I were both under no illusions that I did not fit in!
On the first tee, a friend and I met up with the rest of our four ball. Two Scottish chaps in their 70’s! Watching them tee off released plenty of pressure in us as it was clear that our golf was not about to win any competitions. Instead the plan was to have some fun. The sun was hot, the wind whipped my short pants around my legs and I drove a beautiful shot down the fairway. It was the last time I would play off that manicured grass, the longer stuff on the sides seemed so much nicer to my ball!
We laughed and joked, and occasionally even played a decent shot. Two good shots in a row were rare and three unheard of! I discovered that if I put my back into my swing I could almost smack the casing off the ball; sending it straight as an arrow as far as I could see. Unfortunately these sweet shots cost me five balls in rapid succession as they went straight in a direction I had not intended; into a wine farm across a road, into the gardens of houses that probably did not know they lived on a golf estate, and into water hazards that were picnic spots and well off the beaten golf track! Lesson learned – tone down the power swing! My soft shots were still beautiful examples of golfing technique, except that the compass in my R8 golf ball seemed to be on the blink, hence my zigzag up to every green.
The last hole saw me provide a demonstration of my ‘Happy Gilmore’ swing. Tee the ball up high, stand well behind it, start the swing, step to the ball, and hit it hard, hockey style! Much to the delight of the Scotts, the ball took off landing just short of the green. Ironic that whilst trying to control my swing all day I had no direction and with the most uncontrolled swing, I got the direction perfect!
Prize giving saw our 4 ball take last place – 24th to be specific! The rest of the field seemed to have had as much fun as us but used their clubs far less in the process. It still makes little sense to me that you want to spend more on equipment so that you can use it less. Our four ball certainly got its money’s worth!
Lots of money was raised through an auction, at least R100,000 ($12,000). Everyone was only to keen to open their wallets and give generously which is exactly what was needed. My wallet was very shy and so I was glad to slink off to the far end of the parking lot and climb unnoticed into my car.
Suffice to say, golf is not my game and I am an uncomfortable man around people of serious wealth. I just do not relate!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Insight from an 11 year old
Last night was Judo night again and I was not looking forward to it. My body is still recovering from last weeks exercise festival. I am sure me bod requires a bit of rest, but I find resting more than a little difficult.
Thankfully I had a meeting at the same time as Judo and arrived at the end of the session. Sensei still got me involved in the last few exercises even though I was in my normal clothes. After the session, a boy of about 11 came up to me. He said, and I quote, ’It is really cool that you do Judo with your sons’. I said something completely inappropriate like I wish you would tell my sons the same thing.
He ignored that and went on to say, “my dad is too busy!”
Ouch!
I have certainly wondered over the last almost two years about whether I have done the right thing to embark on this path of finding a better way. If ever there was a sign post along the way saying keep on going, this kid was certainly it! I am not sure that my boys have the same level of appreciation as expressed by this child, but then again the value is in being there not in my boy’s knowledge that I am there.
This child, less than a third of my age, made me feel exhilarated and horribly sad. My boys get the benefit of a full time dad but what about all of those other boys just longing for time and attention in their lives. How do I make a difference in their lives? How do I make them feel special too? How do I get men to realise that the business of making money is but a single element of all that life has to offer? How do I get men to realise that depth is measured by love and not wallet size?
Funny that a comment made by a young kid can be so insightful and mean so much to me!
Monday, November 2, 2009
Love and Marriage
Today, I have been married for 12 years. I remember spending the morning of that big day in our swimming pool, scrubbing off algae with a hard brush. That is until I was rescued by my well meaning good men and whisked off to breakfast. A breakfast I was far too nervous to eat!
I am still amazed that despite the nerves, I still found myself saying ‘I do’ a couple of hours later. Today I congratulate my dumb luck in making a decision that in retrospect was brilliant, as it sparked forth the longest and greatest adventure of my life.
And yet marriage is not a popular institution. In a time when anything is possible at a price, and iron clad contracts just require pricier lawyers than the ones who put it together to take it apart, and where divorce is a commodity, I take much joy in my own marriage. On Friday we had drinks with our neighbours; two of whom have been married for 48 years. They don’t spend much time with the skateboarding crew but they are feisty and full of fun.
They are also people I look up to in terms of making a marriage work, as a lifelong commitment is no longer the norm! Today it seems that when the going gets tough, the tough get going out of the front door to the lawyers. Needless to say Donna and I made a couple of vows and we mean to keep them!
When I got married, I thought that I was deeply in love, but now I know that I really had no clue. As the years have gone by, I have found that our love for each other has grown and matured. It is different to when we first met and so much better. Our lives have become more and more one life, whereby both of us are halves of some different whole. A whole that is simpler and yet more complicated and thrilling than either of us on our own.
One day when we hold each other’s thin bony hands and squint through our bifocals at each other’s lined faces and reminisce about the incredible adventures of our lives, we will know that it was as good as it was, because we did it together!
I would not have it any other way. I love you honey!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Falling Apart
My life over the last couple of days has seen me play the role of bumbling idiot in place of my usual graceful self.
Saturday started with a four kilometre run on the beach with Luke as part of his school fun run. He did well and came in seventh in the school, not bad for a grade two. I then ran two kilometres with Matt and came in sixteenth, absolutely brilliant for the tiny tot! Luke and I then went surfing until he was frozen. All well to his point!
Sunday was the day that I had been looking forward to slipping on my running shoes and hitting the road. Instead I spent some time on the half pipe with my youngest. I lost control at the top of the ramp on my last turn, twisted my ankle and dived hip and elbow first into the floor. It was not as funny as Matt thought it was! By now I am so used to twisting my ankle that it was in the pool seconds later and then tightly wrapped in a well used figure eight bandage. Sadly, the run was put on hold!
I hobbled around on Monday trying to practise my throws for my Judo grading that would take place in the evening. I was allowed to skip the exercise section of the session but then it was on to my grading. It went smoothly but in a little light practise fight I sprained one of my toes and wrenched my wrist. Hello, and I was taking it easy?
Tuesday night was the indoor hockey challenge; a parents team against the teachers. I love indoor hockey and could not turn this down. I bandaged my foot so tightly that there was practically no blood flow to my toes, but at least my ankle was safe. One game somehow morphed into four games on the trot. At which point I was the stain on a pool of sweat and barely able to move a muscle. I only picked up a minor injury which was a grazed knuckle and a bruised hand. Of course I could show no pain in front of the rest of the parents. You can be certain that if parents and teachers did not know me, they know me now!
Wednesday night was the toughest Judo session of my short new Judo career. I limped into the dojo and had my children drag me out afterwards. A mental note was made to always ensure short fingernails as I had managed to split most of them down the sides. I said a prayer of thanks for power steering. At home, I shooed the kids out of the car and then summoned a vast amount of mental strength to do the same. I slowly shuffled into the house in about the time that it took my kids to shower and go to bed, normally a process that takes hours! I grabbed a very unlucky Coke which was dispatched in record time. That provided me with sufficient energy to get to the shower. Showering was a painful exercise as by now my body parts had ceased. Cleaning the soles of my feet involved a special contortion that involved the wall and a lot of will, and I barely avoided taking the rest of my shower sitting on the floor. I thought that the hard part was over, but drying myself was next to impossible. Halfway through I accidentally dropped my towel on the floor, which was great as it solved the problem of how to dry my feet. I then spread my jocks on the floor and wiggled my feet into the holes. After bending for about 15 seconds I managed to get a hold of them and pull them up, impressing myself immensely with my innovative dressing techniques. At that point I decided I had put enough clothes on.
Today, I feel like a metal robot that somebody forgot to oil! I am tired, very damaged, and absolutely refuse to let anyone tell me that it is all because I am getting older!!
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Lost 2
After giving my last post on ‘lost’ some lateral thought, I decided that I was not happy with it all. If you have not read it, read it and then come back to this post.
There is one other thing that I can do for my children. Ensure that they know and feel Gods love for them. With it, at least they can expect heaven when they die, and as a parent, I will know that this is where they will be. Without it, they are gone without a trace, and as a parent, I will be left with a tragic loss!
You may be thinking that you won’t be reading this blog again because I have brought up the God factor? The thing is, I would rather be an idiot and believe in God, and be wrong, than clever, not believe, and be wrong! This comment though, tries to reduce faith to a tenet of logic which obviously cannot be done, so please forgive me.
As a Christian, I believe that God gave up his son to die for me. There is no way I would ever be able to sacrifice my children for any reason, no matter how good. I am far too small a man for that. To think that God did exactly that for me; means that his love for me is humanly unfathomable. Truly, I want my children to experience that love.
So the things I can do for my children, regardless if they die young or old, is to give them a home filled with love and a life filled with God!
There is one other thing that I can do for my children. Ensure that they know and feel Gods love for them. With it, at least they can expect heaven when they die, and as a parent, I will know that this is where they will be. Without it, they are gone without a trace, and as a parent, I will be left with a tragic loss!
You may be thinking that you won’t be reading this blog again because I have brought up the God factor? The thing is, I would rather be an idiot and believe in God, and be wrong, than clever, not believe, and be wrong! This comment though, tries to reduce faith to a tenet of logic which obviously cannot be done, so please forgive me.
As a Christian, I believe that God gave up his son to die for me. There is no way I would ever be able to sacrifice my children for any reason, no matter how good. I am far too small a man for that. To think that God did exactly that for me; means that his love for me is humanly unfathomable. Truly, I want my children to experience that love.
So the things I can do for my children, regardless if they die young or old, is to give them a home filled with love and a life filled with God!
Lost
Cape Town has been experiencing rather adverse weather over the last two days; with winds of over 100km/hr being recorded, lightning, and even hail. Events practically unheard of down here! The wind blown swell in the sea has been merciless, and a number of fishermen have lost their lives.
Last night I was shocked by the sad news of a Judo friend. A tree was blown over on his farm, not a small tree, an ancient one that three good men would struggle to hug together! Sadly the tree fell onto a wall of a farm worker’s cottage and killed the five year old girl sleeping on the other side.
Heart wrenching!
I cannot help but think about losing one of my own children. I would be devastated. Actually, I have no idea how I would be, as I don’t suppose anyone who has not been through such an experience could begin to understand. It does of course bring home the fact that our children are loaned to us for just the shortest of times. With this in mind, should I be changing anything in the way that I live my life? Telling my children I love them more often, hugging them more often, listening to them, spending more quality time with them? Do I fill my home with love or am I more concerned about messy rooms being cleaned?
My heart cannot but go out to the poor parents who have just lost their child.
Last night I was shocked by the sad news of a Judo friend. A tree was blown over on his farm, not a small tree, an ancient one that three good men would struggle to hug together! Sadly the tree fell onto a wall of a farm worker’s cottage and killed the five year old girl sleeping on the other side.
Heart wrenching!
I cannot help but think about losing one of my own children. I would be devastated. Actually, I have no idea how I would be, as I don’t suppose anyone who has not been through such an experience could begin to understand. It does of course bring home the fact that our children are loaned to us for just the shortest of times. With this in mind, should I be changing anything in the way that I live my life? Telling my children I love them more often, hugging them more often, listening to them, spending more quality time with them? Do I fill my home with love or am I more concerned about messy rooms being cleaned?
My heart cannot but go out to the poor parents who have just lost their child.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Lessons from the Pipe
It has been a while since I provided an update on my half pipe progress. The half pipe is in fine condition, having managing to outlast its first season of winter weather. The oldest kid has not managed to do as well!
My eight year old is able to drop in and do a magnificent top turn on the far side with front wheels and top half of the board completely above the rail. I really cannot wait to see him do that on a wave! After all, that is why we have this fine piece of apparatus in our garden.
I have found mastering the pipe a little more difficult. You see all of the ‘cool’ stuff like grinds on the rail, tap downs, lock ups, airs, all take place six foot above the ground at speeds of up to 40km/hour. It is most spectacular when you get it right, but get them wrong, and six feet is a long fall onto some rather unforgiving material.
I am ashamed to admit that I still cannot drop in, but I am working on it...
Yesterday the pipe beat me badly for the second time. I was on the last turn of my session when the wheels fell off. Well not literally! Somehow I managed to twist my ankle again, even while wearing an ankle guard, and land with my full weight on my hip at the bottom of the pipe.
My pain has forced me to look deep within and share some lessons from the pipe, which apply to both life and business:
1. Always remain 100% focussed, any loss of attention and you are on the floor. My brain wandered yesterday and I don’t even know how I fell.
2. Commit. Absolutely anything undertaken without full commitment is not worth doing and may not even be possible without everything you have. Wafting around on the pipe is an invitation for disaster.
3. Plan for failure but never entertain it. The thought entered my mind that I have a Judo grading tonight and I cannot afford to sprain my ankle. And I sprained my ankle!
4. Nothing brilliant comes without lots of effort and work. Don't stop trying, training, and reaching higher and further!
And if you are in the process of failing, make sure it is spectacular so that at least you and all those watching have something to talk about for weeks on end!
My eight year old is able to drop in and do a magnificent top turn on the far side with front wheels and top half of the board completely above the rail. I really cannot wait to see him do that on a wave! After all, that is why we have this fine piece of apparatus in our garden.
I have found mastering the pipe a little more difficult. You see all of the ‘cool’ stuff like grinds on the rail, tap downs, lock ups, airs, all take place six foot above the ground at speeds of up to 40km/hour. It is most spectacular when you get it right, but get them wrong, and six feet is a long fall onto some rather unforgiving material.
I am ashamed to admit that I still cannot drop in, but I am working on it...
Yesterday the pipe beat me badly for the second time. I was on the last turn of my session when the wheels fell off. Well not literally! Somehow I managed to twist my ankle again, even while wearing an ankle guard, and land with my full weight on my hip at the bottom of the pipe.
My pain has forced me to look deep within and share some lessons from the pipe, which apply to both life and business:
1. Always remain 100% focussed, any loss of attention and you are on the floor. My brain wandered yesterday and I don’t even know how I fell.
2. Commit. Absolutely anything undertaken without full commitment is not worth doing and may not even be possible without everything you have. Wafting around on the pipe is an invitation for disaster.
3. Plan for failure but never entertain it. The thought entered my mind that I have a Judo grading tonight and I cannot afford to sprain my ankle. And I sprained my ankle!
4. Nothing brilliant comes without lots of effort and work. Don't stop trying, training, and reaching higher and further!
And if you are in the process of failing, make sure it is spectacular so that at least you and all those watching have something to talk about for weeks on end!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Joy
I was wondering about the relativity of joy.
Definitions from a couple of web dictionaries define joy as rejoicing as well as the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.
If I had absolutely nothing; a free meal or a grotty jacket before winter would probably provide much joy. Both could be classified as exceptionally good or satisfying events. In my current situation, being forced to eat a meal from a soup kitchen or receiving a grotty jacket would be tough to handle. Interestingly enough, giving soup to a hungry person or giving away an old jacket would provide me with some measure of joy.
The question I have for myself is do I only rejoice in the big things like a new car, a baby’s birth, or an unexpected windfall? Have I become so jaded that I am unable to find joy in a smile or a kind word; the simple things of life that spring from loving hearts? Do I appreciate the dawn of each new day, the beauty that surrounds me, and the fact that I have been blessed with life for another day? And do I use each of those days to spread joy or bemoan the fact that I don’t have the things I really want?
Is it possible that whether I have nothing or own the world, the most valuable gift I can give is free and it comes from the heart? And it is in giving love and respect that I receive great joy and peace of mind?
Or is it better to work my butt off so I can go out and buy some cool stuff, knowing that it will soon break and become worthless. Then I can give it away and feel good that somebody else will get joy from it!
Just wondering...
Definitions from a couple of web dictionaries define joy as rejoicing as well as the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.
If I had absolutely nothing; a free meal or a grotty jacket before winter would probably provide much joy. Both could be classified as exceptionally good or satisfying events. In my current situation, being forced to eat a meal from a soup kitchen or receiving a grotty jacket would be tough to handle. Interestingly enough, giving soup to a hungry person or giving away an old jacket would provide me with some measure of joy.
The question I have for myself is do I only rejoice in the big things like a new car, a baby’s birth, or an unexpected windfall? Have I become so jaded that I am unable to find joy in a smile or a kind word; the simple things of life that spring from loving hearts? Do I appreciate the dawn of each new day, the beauty that surrounds me, and the fact that I have been blessed with life for another day? And do I use each of those days to spread joy or bemoan the fact that I don’t have the things I really want?
Is it possible that whether I have nothing or own the world, the most valuable gift I can give is free and it comes from the heart? And it is in giving love and respect that I receive great joy and peace of mind?
Or is it better to work my butt off so I can go out and buy some cool stuff, knowing that it will soon break and become worthless. Then I can give it away and feel good that somebody else will get joy from it!
Just wondering...
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Above and Beyond
Another first!
This weekend I went into the ceiling to turn down the geyser temperature. Being summer, dropping the temperature is a simple means of saving on electricity. This should have been a two minute job in the ceiling which instead became a major mission.
My oldest son has always pestered me to take him into the roof with me. This time I agreed, except that I put him to work up there with me. Together we cleaned the space between the roof and the ceiling. This is not a job I recommend for the faint hearted, nor a job that should really ever be necessary. For some reason the various workmen who have worked on our house have left a frightful mess in the rafters. Luke and I removed three large sacks of junk; including geyser valves, piping, wiring, wood, bricks, a massive birds nest, newspapers, and boxes.
It was hard, hot work but now another item that was never on my to do list has been checked off it.
And I am now most likely the first person you have ever heard of, that has cleaned above his ceiling!
This weekend I went into the ceiling to turn down the geyser temperature. Being summer, dropping the temperature is a simple means of saving on electricity. This should have been a two minute job in the ceiling which instead became a major mission.
My oldest son has always pestered me to take him into the roof with me. This time I agreed, except that I put him to work up there with me. Together we cleaned the space between the roof and the ceiling. This is not a job I recommend for the faint hearted, nor a job that should really ever be necessary. For some reason the various workmen who have worked on our house have left a frightful mess in the rafters. Luke and I removed three large sacks of junk; including geyser valves, piping, wiring, wood, bricks, a massive birds nest, newspapers, and boxes.
It was hard, hot work but now another item that was never on my to do list has been checked off it.
And I am now most likely the first person you have ever heard of, that has cleaned above his ceiling!
Thursday, October 15, 2009
The Belly on Film
Donna and I had heaps of fun the other night. We took pregnant belly photographs.
Donna trawled through the net and selected a couple of photographs that she really liked. Next we set up my alternative photographic studio and got busy recreating some really great pictures. Our sons were not the most willing of models, but we persevered and succeeded.
Our three children
My wonderful wife
My Family
We then tried to capture the sensual nature of pregnancy in a tasteful manner. Our bookkeeper almost blushed when she saw a large print of one of those pictures. Just kidding, she was seriously impressed. Unfortunatelythey cannot be found here...
No matter how hard you look!
Donna trawled through the net and selected a couple of photographs that she really liked. Next we set up my alternative photographic studio and got busy recreating some really great pictures. Our sons were not the most willing of models, but we persevered and succeeded.
Our three children
My wonderful wife
My Family
We then tried to capture the sensual nature of pregnancy in a tasteful manner. Our bookkeeper almost blushed when she saw a large print of one of those pictures. Just kidding, she was seriously impressed. Unfortunatelythey cannot be found here...
No matter how hard you look!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
More words
I have started to write again!
For so long my book has limped along. The days left over minutes used to distil the big idea. Last minute thoughts rushed into comprehension. Words pounded out before they flit away into nothingness. All tied together in a cacophony of noise.
I have been blessed with some time in between projects. Time to ponder. Time to revise my fourth book plan into my fifth. Time to carefully choose my thoughts, ideas, and words. To weave a story that pours forth love and hope. That asks uncomfortable questions. That challenges one to be more and do more.
The responsibility is big. The time has been given, but I must use it to produce this gift for others.
The new plan is different and bold, but for the first time since I started, I know I can deliver it!
For so long my book has limped along. The days left over minutes used to distil the big idea. Last minute thoughts rushed into comprehension. Words pounded out before they flit away into nothingness. All tied together in a cacophony of noise.
I have been blessed with some time in between projects. Time to ponder. Time to revise my fourth book plan into my fifth. Time to carefully choose my thoughts, ideas, and words. To weave a story that pours forth love and hope. That asks uncomfortable questions. That challenges one to be more and do more.
The responsibility is big. The time has been given, but I must use it to produce this gift for others.
The new plan is different and bold, but for the first time since I started, I know I can deliver it!
Monday, October 12, 2009
Neighbours and Friends
What a weekend. A medley of social interaction with friends and neighbours that was staggering in its fun quotient!
It all started off with drinks at a neighbour’s house. Drinks quickly became an impromptu dinner which was lovely in that it was good time shared. I have to wonder how many people can walk down their street and be surrounded by friends.
Saturday involved a walk up a mountain as part of a church youth group meeting. Presumably I was there in order to oversee a bunch of impressionable youngsters and was greeted instead to a rather large family event. The youngsters had all brought their parents and siblings. It was a wonderful morning of shared joy in the beauty of nature and the exertion of a good hard walk. My five year old did me proud and managed to complete the three hour expedition on his own albeit at his pace!
Later that evening another neighbour dropped in to drop off some stuff she had borrowed. Soon the rest of her family had been invited and we all sat down to share dinner and some of that red liquid stuff, rather famous in the Cape. Again, I had to wonder about our neighbourhood, does this happen to anyone else?
Sunday saw an old work college over to lunch. What a joy to hear and see her confidence and happiness in life again. The spark of life within completely renewed! And then dinner saw some more old friends and their family arrive and another thoroughly entertaining meal shared.
My wife and I are inordinately blessed with amazing friendships. Sometimes it takes a bit of effort to rekindle the connections but all of that effort is infinitely rewarded within the warm glow of sharing time together!
Oh yes, and friendship goes very well with food!
It all started off with drinks at a neighbour’s house. Drinks quickly became an impromptu dinner which was lovely in that it was good time shared. I have to wonder how many people can walk down their street and be surrounded by friends.
Saturday involved a walk up a mountain as part of a church youth group meeting. Presumably I was there in order to oversee a bunch of impressionable youngsters and was greeted instead to a rather large family event. The youngsters had all brought their parents and siblings. It was a wonderful morning of shared joy in the beauty of nature and the exertion of a good hard walk. My five year old did me proud and managed to complete the three hour expedition on his own albeit at his pace!
Later that evening another neighbour dropped in to drop off some stuff she had borrowed. Soon the rest of her family had been invited and we all sat down to share dinner and some of that red liquid stuff, rather famous in the Cape. Again, I had to wonder about our neighbourhood, does this happen to anyone else?
Sunday saw an old work college over to lunch. What a joy to hear and see her confidence and happiness in life again. The spark of life within completely renewed! And then dinner saw some more old friends and their family arrive and another thoroughly entertaining meal shared.
My wife and I are inordinately blessed with amazing friendships. Sometimes it takes a bit of effort to rekindle the connections but all of that effort is infinitely rewarded within the warm glow of sharing time together!
Oh yes, and friendship goes very well with food!
Friday, October 9, 2009
Salt Water & Camels
The emergency board meeting was held in fine conditions this morning. Hardly a breath of wind, a little bit of swell, and just three board members at the right spot made all of the difference. No notes were taken, although a couple of pictures were snapped. All were happy that it was pictures and not boards being snapped!
I was a little concerned about my ability this morning, especially considering my blow out just over a day ago. I was incredibly tired in the water but that did not stop me getting my quota of waves. Uncharacteristically I was able to call it quits at the right time, even thought the ocean kept on dishing up delectable wave slides for our pleasure. Perhaps I am starting to mature?
Take a good look at 2 of our Directors hard at work in the boardroom.
I was a little concerned about my ability this morning, especially considering my blow out just over a day ago. I was incredibly tired in the water but that did not stop me getting my quota of waves. Uncharacteristically I was able to call it quits at the right time, even thought the ocean kept on dishing up delectable wave slides for our pleasure. Perhaps I am starting to mature?
Take a good look at 2 of our Directors hard at work in the boardroom.
Back in my street, Christmas has come early! Our house has been kindly decorated, and the three wise men are planning on riding their camels up and down all day. Yes, just another bizarre day over here as an advert is shot for an overseas cell phone company. Camel rides will be offered to the children in the street a little later and I have no doubt that the film crew will be surprised by the number of little critters that live here!
Another incredible day in Africa!!
Another incredible day in Africa!!
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Listen up
Last night I blew it again!
You would think that I know my body better than this. I have lived with it for all of my life and still it sneakily catches me out when I least suspect. Truthfully, I had a suspicion last night that not all was right, but used the override switch in my brain to keep on going.
I had a late night on Tuesday night, carousing with a visiting friend from Johannesburg. Then there was the issue of a lingering cold. Just a little cold, really the tail end of one! Added to that was a minimal intake of water for the day. I arrived at Judo last night with my boys and all of their stuff but sans top half of my judogi. Obviously my brain was way ahead of me by pretending to be behind! I took my time going home to collect it; including then taking a picture of a marvellous rainbow that graced the skies.
You would think that I know my body better than this. I have lived with it for all of my life and still it sneakily catches me out when I least suspect. Truthfully, I had a suspicion last night that not all was right, but used the override switch in my brain to keep on going.
I had a late night on Tuesday night, carousing with a visiting friend from Johannesburg. Then there was the issue of a lingering cold. Just a little cold, really the tail end of one! Added to that was a minimal intake of water for the day. I arrived at Judo last night with my boys and all of their stuff but sans top half of my judogi. Obviously my brain was way ahead of me by pretending to be behind! I took my time going home to collect it; including then taking a picture of a marvellous rainbow that graced the skies.
I had hoped to miss most of the exercise session but found the class still busy on my return. I hoped they were almost finished. Boy was I wrong. The exercise session seemed to be forever including some new and marvellous inventions which I may have enjoyed on other occasions. My body was saying nooooo, but the switch in my brain was firmly on.
Even Sensei asked me twice if I was OK. Eventually I had to admit defeat and leave the mat. My world was spinning, my stomach heaving, my head pounding, and my throat dry as a bone.
I had just pushed too hard and too far.
No fear, after a dismal night, I am fine and dandy now.
Just in time for some big waves in the morning. A friend up the road invited me to an EMERGENCY board meeting at 05h45. He suggested that I don’t make any notes. I can’t wait!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Love & Providence
Beware, this is deep!
I am struggling with a couple of concepts. The first is that when life is spent serving others with love, it is filled with an inner peace and joy that far surpasses that gained by any other means. Seems to be simple enough and surely everyone has experienced this at some or other point in their lives, but how on earth does one centre one’s life on this principle?
I have long been a student of business; thinking big and out of the box. Taking a concept and blowing away the world with it! How wonderful the financial rewards, the adulation, and heaps of respect from one’s peers! Yet if I am to centre my life on serving others, I would no longer be the hero but rather a support player. In fact, if I am to serve with love, the most important aspect of every interaction is the outpouring of my love for the other person. The rest is meaningless...
Another concept is based on Mother Theresa. MT founded and ran the Missionaries of Charity on the firm belief that God would provide. She went so far as to stipulate that none of her sisters would be involved in any form of fund raising. Incredible for an organisation that ran over 300 houses in 5 of the continents with more than 2400 women in the early 80’s, all focussed on loving the poorest of the poor. So how does one go about trusting God to look after one’s well being? How does one even begin to think like this when one must support a family?
I assume it is all possible; living a life of service, an outpouring of love, under God’s providence. But taking that first step...
I am struggling with a couple of concepts. The first is that when life is spent serving others with love, it is filled with an inner peace and joy that far surpasses that gained by any other means. Seems to be simple enough and surely everyone has experienced this at some or other point in their lives, but how on earth does one centre one’s life on this principle?
I have long been a student of business; thinking big and out of the box. Taking a concept and blowing away the world with it! How wonderful the financial rewards, the adulation, and heaps of respect from one’s peers! Yet if I am to centre my life on serving others, I would no longer be the hero but rather a support player. In fact, if I am to serve with love, the most important aspect of every interaction is the outpouring of my love for the other person. The rest is meaningless...
Another concept is based on Mother Theresa. MT founded and ran the Missionaries of Charity on the firm belief that God would provide. She went so far as to stipulate that none of her sisters would be involved in any form of fund raising. Incredible for an organisation that ran over 300 houses in 5 of the continents with more than 2400 women in the early 80’s, all focussed on loving the poorest of the poor. So how does one go about trusting God to look after one’s well being? How does one even begin to think like this when one must support a family?
I assume it is all possible; living a life of service, an outpouring of love, under God’s providence. But taking that first step...
Monday, October 5, 2009
Memories
While in Johannesburg, we descended on my wife’s parents. A suggestion was made that we eat in the restaurant on site in the complex where they stay. Rude son in law that I am, I proposed an alternative, ‘how about we eat at your place’. I thought that my proposal was rather attractive, especially seeing as my mother in law is a great cook. To sweeten the deal, I offered to clean up afterwards. This was probably the clincher!
Our arrival at their place was conjoined with inspiration. For all the years that I can remember, my father in law has been talking about the thousands of brilliant slides packed away in special wooden boxes in his garage. Somehow I badgered him into finding the slides and dusting off the old slide projector. After about 30 minutes of intellectualism, we finally figured out how to get the slide cartridge into the projector. Actually not we, I was clueless, having never worked a slide projector in my life. With much trepidation, the switch was flicked and the projector beamed out a brilliant white light, just as it was supposed to do.
We spent the better part of the day well down memory lane, immersed in family history. A wonderful insight into my wife’s family!
Recently one of my neighbours had requested some help with the scanning and retouching of old black and white photographs. That exercise probably precipitated my own thought on the wealth of photographic material within the family. Now armed with a large suitcase full of these slides, a rather challenging project awaits my attention. Hopefully I have not bitten off more than I can chew, but surely the right time to deal with memories of the past is while everyone is still able to enjoy them, instead of eventually leaving behind a bunch of useless and unappreciated treasures.
And the Steak and Guinness pie was nothing short of exquisite. As is the norm!
Our arrival at their place was conjoined with inspiration. For all the years that I can remember, my father in law has been talking about the thousands of brilliant slides packed away in special wooden boxes in his garage. Somehow I badgered him into finding the slides and dusting off the old slide projector. After about 30 minutes of intellectualism, we finally figured out how to get the slide cartridge into the projector. Actually not we, I was clueless, having never worked a slide projector in my life. With much trepidation, the switch was flicked and the projector beamed out a brilliant white light, just as it was supposed to do.
We spent the better part of the day well down memory lane, immersed in family history. A wonderful insight into my wife’s family!
Recently one of my neighbours had requested some help with the scanning and retouching of old black and white photographs. That exercise probably precipitated my own thought on the wealth of photographic material within the family. Now armed with a large suitcase full of these slides, a rather challenging project awaits my attention. Hopefully I have not bitten off more than I can chew, but surely the right time to deal with memories of the past is while everyone is still able to enjoy them, instead of eventually leaving behind a bunch of useless and unappreciated treasures.
And the Steak and Guinness pie was nothing short of exquisite. As is the norm!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Good Boys
My children have been wonderful on this trip. First to Johannesburg and then for a little beach holiday. It is after all school holidays!
I was a little unsure that I needed a holiday now. My life is filled with the stuff that I want in it. Plenty of family time, working at home will do that for you. I have a number of charitable outlets that I support. Physically, I am probably fitter than ever due to all of my surfing, running, and Judo. And I get to exercise my brain through work and attempts at book writing. No, I do not need a holiday at all, life is good and fun!
But it would be selfish to think that just because I don’t need to relax, the rest of the family don’t have the same need either. And so we find ourselves in a little resort at the sea, indulging ourselves in wanton time wasting activities; like reading, swimming and simply sharing the same space. All without the pressures of time! Which is of course what a holiday is all about, the freedom from time, is it not?
I am thoroughly enjoying myself and feel most relaxed. Perhaps I did need some of this time! Our family is in a good space; happy, loving, and together! Our boys have been as well behaved as boys can be expected to be. Funny How I now know that the boys I have been blessed with are absolutely perfect for me. No other sons would have been right.
Of course, the illusion of family bliss is about to be shattered in a most rude manner as Miss Muffet makes her appearance in just less than 7 weeks. Life will suddenly revolve around screaming, nappies, and breasts.
Hidden somewhere herein, there is a challenge to my family; can we survive this tremendous change and find our way back to bliss again?
Time spent reflecting on my life and reading a special book on Mother Theresa have left me more than a little challenged to do far more. Stick with me as I try and find my way!
I was a little unsure that I needed a holiday now. My life is filled with the stuff that I want in it. Plenty of family time, working at home will do that for you. I have a number of charitable outlets that I support. Physically, I am probably fitter than ever due to all of my surfing, running, and Judo. And I get to exercise my brain through work and attempts at book writing. No, I do not need a holiday at all, life is good and fun!
But it would be selfish to think that just because I don’t need to relax, the rest of the family don’t have the same need either. And so we find ourselves in a little resort at the sea, indulging ourselves in wanton time wasting activities; like reading, swimming and simply sharing the same space. All without the pressures of time! Which is of course what a holiday is all about, the freedom from time, is it not?
I am thoroughly enjoying myself and feel most relaxed. Perhaps I did need some of this time! Our family is in a good space; happy, loving, and together! Our boys have been as well behaved as boys can be expected to be. Funny How I now know that the boys I have been blessed with are absolutely perfect for me. No other sons would have been right.
Of course, the illusion of family bliss is about to be shattered in a most rude manner as Miss Muffet makes her appearance in just less than 7 weeks. Life will suddenly revolve around screaming, nappies, and breasts.
Hidden somewhere herein, there is a challenge to my family; can we survive this tremendous change and find our way back to bliss again?
Time spent reflecting on my life and reading a special book on Mother Theresa have left me more than a little challenged to do far more. Stick with me as I try and find my way!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Committment
I entered the church of my childhood with trepidation. Today was a special day and I was quite unprepared for what was about to happen. A good friend of mine was to be ordained as a priest, the culmination of a long journey. The sacristy of this very church had been where I met Justin for the first time, a mere 26 years ago! My mother had been a sacristan, which meant that she occasionally prepared the church for mass during the week. On those occasions, I invariably got dragged along for an extra hour of church torture. To my utter amazement, on one of those visits, I found Justin, a ten year old boy happily preparing to serve as an altar boy because he wanted to be there!
Fast forward to today and he was about to make a lifelong commitment to God.
I saw one of my old school mates waving madly to me and so my wife and I made our way over and sat with his family. We were early but the church was already packed, and this is no small church. Sitting in that pew, I was assaulted by memories long forgotten. Of countless hours spent on that same altar as an altar boy. Of banding together with two of my close friends, one of whom sat next to me, to join the choir and attempt to make a difference to the singing. Yeah me singing, I had the volume, sometimes, I even had the tune! And then time spent starting and running a youth group in the parish. It had been a long and wonderful association.
The service was incredible, fascinating, beautiful, and full of symbolism. More than 20 priests were in attendance as well as the Arch Bishop. Much of the singing was in Latin, hauntingly beautiful, sung by three choirs, all adding a special flavour to this day. At a point in the service, Justin lay down in the church, prostrate before God. Later the Arch Bishop tied his hands together as a symbol of Justin’s obedience to him. At many times in the service I had to close my eyes and blink back tears. I was not the only one!
A barely noticed two hours later, Justin emerged a priest. Smiling broadly, reflecting a deep inner happiness! And only now will his journey begin!
This event was the emotional pinnacle of my life. It feels funny to write that when I think of the momentous occasions of my own life; including my own marriage and the birth of my children. Yet, I do believe that I have grown as a person over the last 20 months on my own journey. At long last starting to shake the cold calculating persona I had so carefully created. Mixed together with the time I have spent watching my good friend struggle with his call to God. I feel so privileged to have shared a part of his suffering on the road that led here. To see him emerge on the other side, made me feel radiant and alive, bursting with pride.
Challenged to do more!
Justin, my friend, my prayers and thoughts are with you. Live a life filled with love!
Fast forward to today and he was about to make a lifelong commitment to God.
I saw one of my old school mates waving madly to me and so my wife and I made our way over and sat with his family. We were early but the church was already packed, and this is no small church. Sitting in that pew, I was assaulted by memories long forgotten. Of countless hours spent on that same altar as an altar boy. Of banding together with two of my close friends, one of whom sat next to me, to join the choir and attempt to make a difference to the singing. Yeah me singing, I had the volume, sometimes, I even had the tune! And then time spent starting and running a youth group in the parish. It had been a long and wonderful association.
The service was incredible, fascinating, beautiful, and full of symbolism. More than 20 priests were in attendance as well as the Arch Bishop. Much of the singing was in Latin, hauntingly beautiful, sung by three choirs, all adding a special flavour to this day. At a point in the service, Justin lay down in the church, prostrate before God. Later the Arch Bishop tied his hands together as a symbol of Justin’s obedience to him. At many times in the service I had to close my eyes and blink back tears. I was not the only one!
A barely noticed two hours later, Justin emerged a priest. Smiling broadly, reflecting a deep inner happiness! And only now will his journey begin!
This event was the emotional pinnacle of my life. It feels funny to write that when I think of the momentous occasions of my own life; including my own marriage and the birth of my children. Yet, I do believe that I have grown as a person over the last 20 months on my own journey. At long last starting to shake the cold calculating persona I had so carefully created. Mixed together with the time I have spent watching my good friend struggle with his call to God. I feel so privileged to have shared a part of his suffering on the road that led here. To see him emerge on the other side, made me feel radiant and alive, bursting with pride.
Challenged to do more!
Justin, my friend, my prayers and thoughts are with you. Live a life filled with love!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
We are back
What a wonderful weekend. Not only was I privileged to witness a good friend of mine ordained as a Catholic priest but also found myself immersed in the warmth of old friendships.
Justin’s ordination, about which I shall blog more later, was a catalyst for bringing together school friends from 19 years ago. Sure, we have seen each other on occasions since then, but this was the first time that we were all together. Truly frightening was that all of these old friends had discovered the art of procreation and perfected it in their numerous offspring. Out of 7 mates, there are now 14 children and 2 current pregnancies. And one of those friends is a priest and does not count!
Amongst them, I found a comrade who also shares a love of old Fords with big engines that like to drink! Lots!
Besides the school mates, the weekend gave us the opportunity to reconnect with a number of our Johannesburg friends. To write that I have been extra ordinarily blessed with a number of incredibly deep male friendships would be an understatement! I am still great mates with one of the first bosses of my working career, from my time at the Johannesburg Council. It is a relationship which needs little in the form of daily, weekly or even monthly maintenance, yet when we get together we connect so deeply that a conversation is a holiday! We both have this feeling that in the future, we will end up doing some good together. I have no idea what it may be, but it is comforting to know that at least one heavyweight is prepared to fight at my side!
And then there was the time spent with heaps of friends and family, all most appreciated and thoroughly relaxing. There is nothing like time spent with others! To all of those friends and family that entertained us with love and copious amounts of food; we love you guys!
Justin’s ordination, about which I shall blog more later, was a catalyst for bringing together school friends from 19 years ago. Sure, we have seen each other on occasions since then, but this was the first time that we were all together. Truly frightening was that all of these old friends had discovered the art of procreation and perfected it in their numerous offspring. Out of 7 mates, there are now 14 children and 2 current pregnancies. And one of those friends is a priest and does not count!
Amongst them, I found a comrade who also shares a love of old Fords with big engines that like to drink! Lots!
Besides the school mates, the weekend gave us the opportunity to reconnect with a number of our Johannesburg friends. To write that I have been extra ordinarily blessed with a number of incredibly deep male friendships would be an understatement! I am still great mates with one of the first bosses of my working career, from my time at the Johannesburg Council. It is a relationship which needs little in the form of daily, weekly or even monthly maintenance, yet when we get together we connect so deeply that a conversation is a holiday! We both have this feeling that in the future, we will end up doing some good together. I have no idea what it may be, but it is comforting to know that at least one heavyweight is prepared to fight at my side!
And then there was the time spent with heaps of friends and family, all most appreciated and thoroughly relaxing. There is nothing like time spent with others! To all of those friends and family that entertained us with love and copious amounts of food; we love you guys!
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Cheating again
News24 carried a story yesterday titled ‘Why woman stray’. It carried the by line ‘find out why more and more woman are straying’. Now I know this is unfair and even my mom has told me in no uncertain terms that it is not just women but also men who stray. Yes it takes two to tango...
http://www.women24.com/Content/LoveAndSex/SexAndSizzle/2418/6170efc381ee421dbab7aaf3c2127def/11-12-2007-01-40/Why_women_stray
I was a little surprised by the amount of comments to this post, filled with stories of cheating spouses. It is rather sad! Interesting is that those who cheat have these wonderful ‘legitimate’ reasons as to why they cheat...And that makes it all right?
Locking myself into a two year cell phone contract makes me feel most apprehensive. Sure I get a new and sexy phone but the forms, real fine print, and countless rules, make me sweat! In stark contrast, my marriage, which is a commitment for life, or at least the next 54 years, fails to create any of that uncertainty or angst. This may be of course due to the nature of my wife. An amazing woman who overlooks all of my faults and continues to love and care for me regardless. I am a lucky guy! We know that we are meant to be together, not because of some cosmic connection or star struck love but rather because we are both prepared to work at being together till death do us part. And none of that I can say about my cell phone!
To take this further, I think children are also a lifetime contract. Not an 18 or 21 year one, or until they are out of your house and you no longer have to pay maintenance. Children are a wonderful blessing but parents have to appreciate that the majority of their interests and desires have to be set aside in order to focus on the well being of their children. For the rest of your life!!!
Surely, if more of us were able to commit to our children in a really special way, they would feel more loved and become potent forces for good in this world? Perhaps they would be able to escape this never ending cycle of hurt and destruction...
http://www.women24.com/Content/LoveAndSex/SexAndSizzle/2418/6170efc381ee421dbab7aaf3c2127def/11-12-2007-01-40/Why_women_stray
I was a little surprised by the amount of comments to this post, filled with stories of cheating spouses. It is rather sad! Interesting is that those who cheat have these wonderful ‘legitimate’ reasons as to why they cheat...And that makes it all right?
Locking myself into a two year cell phone contract makes me feel most apprehensive. Sure I get a new and sexy phone but the forms, real fine print, and countless rules, make me sweat! In stark contrast, my marriage, which is a commitment for life, or at least the next 54 years, fails to create any of that uncertainty or angst. This may be of course due to the nature of my wife. An amazing woman who overlooks all of my faults and continues to love and care for me regardless. I am a lucky guy! We know that we are meant to be together, not because of some cosmic connection or star struck love but rather because we are both prepared to work at being together till death do us part. And none of that I can say about my cell phone!
To take this further, I think children are also a lifetime contract. Not an 18 or 21 year one, or until they are out of your house and you no longer have to pay maintenance. Children are a wonderful blessing but parents have to appreciate that the majority of their interests and desires have to be set aside in order to focus on the well being of their children. For the rest of your life!!!
Surely, if more of us were able to commit to our children in a really special way, they would feel more loved and become potent forces for good in this world? Perhaps they would be able to escape this never ending cycle of hurt and destruction...
Friday, September 11, 2009
New experiences
Standing on a tiled step while surveying the panoramic vista of Juba and the countryside around it, I realise that I am incredibly blessed. A contractor from India pops his head out of the canteen and tells me his concoction will be ready in five minutes.
I sigh with pleasure as I have just finished a massive dinner and this is an unexpected surprise. I had been warned to avoid the Indian’s dinner at all cost due to its fiery nature, but warnings to me about hot food are wasted breath. How can I refuse the offer of one so friendly, and only too keen to share his own home cooked in a canteen dinner with this complete stranger. He smiles as he admits that his mother would throw his cooking in the bin but then again hers would be pretty mild!
Rain lashes Juba with a vengeance, lightning arcs across the sky, and thunder gives voice to some heavenly displeasure. The sky’s ethereal purple glow serves as a beautiful backdrop to this violent display. Water runs along the ground in great sheets and disappears into the darkness.
I miss my wife and children. I miss my friends and family. My surfboard seems so far away as do the rolling frolicking wet beasts I am so challenged to surf. And yet, I am so blessed to be able to experience something as awe inspiring as a tropical thunderstorm in a remote part of the world and share a brilliant fire and chicken dish with a complete stranger.
Life is not about what I have! Instead it is in times when I truly grasp my insignificance that I feel most alive!
I sigh with pleasure as I have just finished a massive dinner and this is an unexpected surprise. I had been warned to avoid the Indian’s dinner at all cost due to its fiery nature, but warnings to me about hot food are wasted breath. How can I refuse the offer of one so friendly, and only too keen to share his own home cooked in a canteen dinner with this complete stranger. He smiles as he admits that his mother would throw his cooking in the bin but then again hers would be pretty mild!
Rain lashes Juba with a vengeance, lightning arcs across the sky, and thunder gives voice to some heavenly displeasure. The sky’s ethereal purple glow serves as a beautiful backdrop to this violent display. Water runs along the ground in great sheets and disappears into the darkness.
I miss my wife and children. I miss my friends and family. My surfboard seems so far away as do the rolling frolicking wet beasts I am so challenged to surf. And yet, I am so blessed to be able to experience something as awe inspiring as a tropical thunderstorm in a remote part of the world and share a brilliant fire and chicken dish with a complete stranger.
Life is not about what I have! Instead it is in times when I truly grasp my insignificance that I feel most alive!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Till Death do us part
My wife recently had a conversation with a bunch of women. Four out of the six ladies saw very little wrong with having an affair. Three of those four ladies are (still) married. Happily, my wife was in the dissenting two! Now I know that this is hardly a representative sample but...
These ladies have made their decision, opportunity will probably knock, the wrong headboards will bang, secrets will be kept, secrets will be leaked, and families will be destroyed. But at least they will have had their couple of moments of pleasure, perhaps days or even weeks of it. A taste of the forbidden fruit, every drop of its delectable juice licked and savoured. And the realisation that it is forbidden not because it isn’t fun or pleasurable but because it is devastatingly destructive!
Their children will lose everything. Their secure world will be shattered as mom and dad go their separate ways ensuring that life is never the same again. Their children will learn that self pleasure is far more important than the well being of others, almost at any cost. And the children will go on to repeat the same cycle in their own lives, after all this is a lesson learnt from the most important people they know!
Or perhaps, the affair is never discovered. Instead a little worm eats away inside. It eats everything that is dear to them and ultimately takes their joy of life. They live wondering if they will be discovered. Every word is counted to ensure that it can in no way be misinterpreted. And slowly they start to die. Perhaps they thought they were dead before the affair but now they realise how well and truly mistaken they were. And they cannot go back and change it!
Maybe, they are one of those rare individuals, narcissistic to the core or even psychologically challenged, where stuff like this bothers them not at all. Their own pleasure comes first and the rest be damned. Perhaps their husband does not mind and their children see them as the delinquent they are. And then the children grow older and forget birthdays or to go and visit, they live out their life alone. Well not really alone, a lot of time is spent in bars dressed in tight leopard skin pants and a top that shows off their once renowned bosom as they try desperately to snare some young buck and recapture that illusion of happiness. Only to find themselves lonelier than ever after the banging headboard is silenced.
Am I so old fashioned to believe wholeheartedly in the promise I made at an altar; to love and to hold to death do us part? Are people out there so broken and dispirited that they are willing to risk it all for a brief interlude of joy? And how do we make this world a better place for our children if we are prepared to exchange their happiness for our own?
Oh married people; please join me and prove to the world that marriage can be a beautiful partnership if only we dare to imagine its possibilities and do some hard work to make them reality!
These ladies have made their decision, opportunity will probably knock, the wrong headboards will bang, secrets will be kept, secrets will be leaked, and families will be destroyed. But at least they will have had their couple of moments of pleasure, perhaps days or even weeks of it. A taste of the forbidden fruit, every drop of its delectable juice licked and savoured. And the realisation that it is forbidden not because it isn’t fun or pleasurable but because it is devastatingly destructive!
Their children will lose everything. Their secure world will be shattered as mom and dad go their separate ways ensuring that life is never the same again. Their children will learn that self pleasure is far more important than the well being of others, almost at any cost. And the children will go on to repeat the same cycle in their own lives, after all this is a lesson learnt from the most important people they know!
Or perhaps, the affair is never discovered. Instead a little worm eats away inside. It eats everything that is dear to them and ultimately takes their joy of life. They live wondering if they will be discovered. Every word is counted to ensure that it can in no way be misinterpreted. And slowly they start to die. Perhaps they thought they were dead before the affair but now they realise how well and truly mistaken they were. And they cannot go back and change it!
Maybe, they are one of those rare individuals, narcissistic to the core or even psychologically challenged, where stuff like this bothers them not at all. Their own pleasure comes first and the rest be damned. Perhaps their husband does not mind and their children see them as the delinquent they are. And then the children grow older and forget birthdays or to go and visit, they live out their life alone. Well not really alone, a lot of time is spent in bars dressed in tight leopard skin pants and a top that shows off their once renowned bosom as they try desperately to snare some young buck and recapture that illusion of happiness. Only to find themselves lonelier than ever after the banging headboard is silenced.
Am I so old fashioned to believe wholeheartedly in the promise I made at an altar; to love and to hold to death do us part? Are people out there so broken and dispirited that they are willing to risk it all for a brief interlude of joy? And how do we make this world a better place for our children if we are prepared to exchange their happiness for our own?
Oh married people; please join me and prove to the world that marriage can be a beautiful partnership if only we dare to imagine its possibilities and do some hard work to make them reality!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Oh the Pain
There are a number of different reactions in my home to two certain evenings in the week. I fear these events because I know that I am going to get beaten up and return home to my wife a tired, bruised, and very sweaty man. She does not always approve!
My kids look forward to these evenings with a longing that borders on desperation. They get to go out and fight with other children and play rough without any fear of an authority figure breaking it up! Well at least as long as they are fighting as they have been taught. For a kid, utopia!
My wife gets a blissful two hours of alone time. I have no idea what she does, but I think she secretly revels in the solitude, and the excess stores of chocolate.
Yes, judo night! The night the three boys go off to the local Judoka and do our best to learn rudimentary Japanese and throw other people around! I have found much of the learning to involve me being dropped on the floor whilst incurring maximum pain and skin discolouration.
Last night was that night again. After Monday night’s bruising episode, I was a little apprehensive. I sure don’t remember this being the case, when as a kid I did Judo with my brother. Last night I arrived at Judo, actually remembered my Japanese, threw other people around the place, and had a lot of fun! I do have some more neat bruises to show all the squeamish people who don’t want to look, but that just adds to an already great evening!
I am not sure that my boys have noticed through their haze of uber excitement, but their dad has really struggled through this thing. Up until yesterday, all of the effort seemed pointless bar the obvious father and sons doing stuff together benefits. But as usual, nothing worthwhile can be achieved without any real effort, and Judo is no exception. Hopefully the big lesson my boys will learn is the value in discipline, hard work, and perseverance.
Oh yes, and how to avoid applying for residency in a foreign country because you are a victim of life!
My kids look forward to these evenings with a longing that borders on desperation. They get to go out and fight with other children and play rough without any fear of an authority figure breaking it up! Well at least as long as they are fighting as they have been taught. For a kid, utopia!
My wife gets a blissful two hours of alone time. I have no idea what she does, but I think she secretly revels in the solitude, and the excess stores of chocolate.
Yes, judo night! The night the three boys go off to the local Judoka and do our best to learn rudimentary Japanese and throw other people around! I have found much of the learning to involve me being dropped on the floor whilst incurring maximum pain and skin discolouration.
Last night was that night again. After Monday night’s bruising episode, I was a little apprehensive. I sure don’t remember this being the case, when as a kid I did Judo with my brother. Last night I arrived at Judo, actually remembered my Japanese, threw other people around the place, and had a lot of fun! I do have some more neat bruises to show all the squeamish people who don’t want to look, but that just adds to an already great evening!
I am not sure that my boys have noticed through their haze of uber excitement, but their dad has really struggled through this thing. Up until yesterday, all of the effort seemed pointless bar the obvious father and sons doing stuff together benefits. But as usual, nothing worthwhile can be achieved without any real effort, and Judo is no exception. Hopefully the big lesson my boys will learn is the value in discipline, hard work, and perseverance.
Oh yes, and how to avoid applying for residency in a foreign country because you are a victim of life!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
No more Chocolate in my Life
Our chocolate dilemma has received much attention over the last few days and I am pleased to report that the chocolate pile is no more! Thanks to all of you who have worked so diligently to ensure that this problem was resolved as soon as possible!
Monday, August 31, 2009
The life of ...
I have read three biographies over the last couple of weeks. The usual murder mystery detective novels have started to bore me no end and so I have switched to some reality reading.
The first was the life of Trotsky. If you don’t know him, suffice to say that together with Lenin, he brought about the overthrow of the imperial Russian monarchy and help install communism based on Marxist principles. He was eventually assassinated by one of Stalin’s hit men while living in exile. It was an interesting book but filled with an idealism that I just could not grasp.
Book number two was the life of Jim Morrison, the lead singer of the band, The Doors. This was an eye opener. An angry young man with a little bit of talent and a bent for dark poetry who became a 70’s sex icon. Drunk and high for the last ten years of his life before extinguishing it entirely at the ripe old age of 27 through an overdose. Woman and sex were his pivotal conquests. I finished this book a little depressed from an insight into a world I knew existed but probably have always chosen to ignore. The excess, the depravity, the negativity, the arrogance, are truly mind blowing and clearly lead as far away from happiness and inner peace as one can get!
The third book of this impromptu book review was titled ‘Mao’s last dancer’. It is a beautiful autobiography of the life of Li Cunxin, a Chinese ballet dancer. Those who know me understand that ballet is not one of my sports and one of my greatest fears is attending my soon to be new daughter’s ballet recitals. Nonetheless this book was written with great humility, compassion, and love. It details Cunxin’s start in life as a peasant in a commune in a rural part of China under the rule of Chairman Mao. He was selected at the age of 11 to attend Madame Mao’s Dance Academy simply due to his high pain threshold as the selectors effectively tore his hamstrings in the selection process. It took him years to learn to love dancing but once he discovered a passion for the art, he became one of the best Chinese ballet dancers ever. He ultimately defected to America where he started his own family.
I was awestruck at the love within his family and the bonds between his parents and his six brothers. As peasants, they had absolutely nothing. They ate dried yams for most of the year if they were lucky, but they had a family filled with love and happiness.
Cunxin’s book simply reinforced the simple notion that family must be the cornerstone of a valuable society. And that love and inner peace are far more important than money, political ideals, and the narcissistic pursuit of self satisfaction!
The first was the life of Trotsky. If you don’t know him, suffice to say that together with Lenin, he brought about the overthrow of the imperial Russian monarchy and help install communism based on Marxist principles. He was eventually assassinated by one of Stalin’s hit men while living in exile. It was an interesting book but filled with an idealism that I just could not grasp.
Book number two was the life of Jim Morrison, the lead singer of the band, The Doors. This was an eye opener. An angry young man with a little bit of talent and a bent for dark poetry who became a 70’s sex icon. Drunk and high for the last ten years of his life before extinguishing it entirely at the ripe old age of 27 through an overdose. Woman and sex were his pivotal conquests. I finished this book a little depressed from an insight into a world I knew existed but probably have always chosen to ignore. The excess, the depravity, the negativity, the arrogance, are truly mind blowing and clearly lead as far away from happiness and inner peace as one can get!
The third book of this impromptu book review was titled ‘Mao’s last dancer’. It is a beautiful autobiography of the life of Li Cunxin, a Chinese ballet dancer. Those who know me understand that ballet is not one of my sports and one of my greatest fears is attending my soon to be new daughter’s ballet recitals. Nonetheless this book was written with great humility, compassion, and love. It details Cunxin’s start in life as a peasant in a commune in a rural part of China under the rule of Chairman Mao. He was selected at the age of 11 to attend Madame Mao’s Dance Academy simply due to his high pain threshold as the selectors effectively tore his hamstrings in the selection process. It took him years to learn to love dancing but once he discovered a passion for the art, he became one of the best Chinese ballet dancers ever. He ultimately defected to America where he started his own family.
I was awestruck at the love within his family and the bonds between his parents and his six brothers. As peasants, they had absolutely nothing. They ate dried yams for most of the year if they were lucky, but they had a family filled with love and happiness.
Cunxin’s book simply reinforced the simple notion that family must be the cornerstone of a valuable society. And that love and inner peace are far more important than money, political ideals, and the narcissistic pursuit of self satisfaction!
Friday, August 28, 2009
Piles of it
Attention, attention! A serious problem has reared its ugly head in our home. Chocolate overload! The past couple of weeks have seen the number of chocolate bars in our cupboard rise substantially. It has always been a measly none, and I can tell you I craved it like mad then.
This morning I was given another one to add to the pile. The pile is now six slabs high, and that does not include the countless boxes and bunnies sharing breathing space in the cupboard...
All of a sudden, I don’t really feel like any chocolate. Perhaps I have discovered the answer to all cravings. Excess!
What am I going to do?
This morning I was given another one to add to the pile. The pile is now six slabs high, and that does not include the countless boxes and bunnies sharing breathing space in the cupboard...
All of a sudden, I don’t really feel like any chocolate. Perhaps I have discovered the answer to all cravings. Excess!
What am I going to do?
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Circles in the Snow
With a deep breath, I blew away the dust and cobwebs that covered the writings of my book to date. It was a moment filled with anxiety and anticipation. Is the book still relevant to me? Much to my surprise a couple of hours passed filled with writing and memories.
Whilst writing about snowboarding, as you do in a book all about the expense of wealth, power, and prestige; I remembered an incident that is as vivid today as it was when it happened in 1995.
I was alone on a ski lift in Arapahoe Basin, somewhere deep in the Rocky Mountains. It was late afternoon and weak winter sun did little to warm the frigid air. As the lift climbed higher, I passed over a relatively wide ski run. A snowboarder caught my eye as he flew down the slope making graceful turns. He suddenly launched himself into a massive turn, and then continued the turn until he had described a complete circle of about 15 metres in diameter. All without lifting or jumping his board! Without a pause, he crossed his own tracks and continued on down the mountain.
I was flabbergasted! It was a nonchalant display of poise, balance, precision, grace, and skill, so unexpected that my eyes could scarce take it in.
For years I have imagined myself doing that same turn on a snow covered mountain. All my attempts ended pathetically, further reinforcing the brilliance of the vision I had seen. After hours of attempts, it is only recently have I managed to do it on my skateboard in the road outside our house. It does not look nearly as impressive on my skateboard!
The thing is, that moment in time spent witnessing this event, has remained firmly entrenched in my memory. The snowboarder responsible did not even know that he had had any effect on me. He was just doing his thing! But him doing his thing, inspired a 14 year attempt to replicate his actions.
There is no doubt in my mind that our own lives and actions can have a profound impact on people around us. The scary part is that most of the time, we will be completely unaware of our impact as we sow seeds of good or bad in all we do. And that impact may resonate for lifetimes to come whether we want them to or not!
Can we describe circles in the snow that will blow somebody’s mind? Every day?
Whilst writing about snowboarding, as you do in a book all about the expense of wealth, power, and prestige; I remembered an incident that is as vivid today as it was when it happened in 1995.
I was alone on a ski lift in Arapahoe Basin, somewhere deep in the Rocky Mountains. It was late afternoon and weak winter sun did little to warm the frigid air. As the lift climbed higher, I passed over a relatively wide ski run. A snowboarder caught my eye as he flew down the slope making graceful turns. He suddenly launched himself into a massive turn, and then continued the turn until he had described a complete circle of about 15 metres in diameter. All without lifting or jumping his board! Without a pause, he crossed his own tracks and continued on down the mountain.
I was flabbergasted! It was a nonchalant display of poise, balance, precision, grace, and skill, so unexpected that my eyes could scarce take it in.
For years I have imagined myself doing that same turn on a snow covered mountain. All my attempts ended pathetically, further reinforcing the brilliance of the vision I had seen. After hours of attempts, it is only recently have I managed to do it on my skateboard in the road outside our house. It does not look nearly as impressive on my skateboard!
The thing is, that moment in time spent witnessing this event, has remained firmly entrenched in my memory. The snowboarder responsible did not even know that he had had any effect on me. He was just doing his thing! But him doing his thing, inspired a 14 year attempt to replicate his actions.
There is no doubt in my mind that our own lives and actions can have a profound impact on people around us. The scary part is that most of the time, we will be completely unaware of our impact as we sow seeds of good or bad in all we do. And that impact may resonate for lifetimes to come whether we want them to or not!
Can we describe circles in the snow that will blow somebody’s mind? Every day?
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