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Time has but flown by. I feel so guilty, no blogs for ages. So sad, as blogging helps me to see deep inside myself and learn. And there has been much to learn over the last two weeks. I have seen my boys and girl blossom. We have shared laughs, fun, and adventures galore. I have started to take photographs again and they have been a wonderful surprise.

I went back to work last week. Sort of! Still tried to take the boys surfing every day. Work is very interesting. I have the next two and a half weeks to prepare for some of the most important presentations of my life. And I had thought those had already happened when I had been in corporate. Perhaps they were just to prepare me for the moments to come.

Either way, life is really exciting right now. Time pressures, an awesome project, the chance to do some inspirational work, and of course, no pay! Probably not the ideal recipe but then again, how often do we get to thoroughly enjoy what we are doing. Right now my future is squarely in God’s hands. Probably a good place for it to be...

Heavy Concentration

It has been a long time.

Blogging just does not seem to fit in with the lifestyle of the travelling facilitator. A two day course repeated every 3 days over the last two weeks, each in a different town around the country, has drained me of any ability to communicate. The fact that I designed the course, has added extra pressure as it required optimisation post each iteration.

So far four courses down and one to go! They have gone well, and the ratings have been good. And I now have a weekend and the following week to find myself again, before launching into course number five.

Training management using a free flow discussion format requires nine hours of focussed concentration each day. On my feet and thinking, guiding conversations, eliciting insights, and playing the clown. By the end of the day, I am poor conversation, completely tapped out.

I have of course enjoyed much of the debate and conversation. I also cannot believe how much the course has improved as I have improved in my delivery, timing, and program changes. And I am getting paid for this piece of work, which makes a wonderful change for much of my effort this year.

There is light in the tunnel, but where the end may be is anyone’s guess! I like it that way…

My boys and I

Our trip to Bloemfontein was not all negative. Matt and Luke said they had an awesome time. Obviously they lived that week on a different planet to the one Donna, Isabella, and I were on!

Donna and I also found out how far we would push ourselves as parents to support our children. Donna spending three nights in that room, amidst the hospital chaos was a huge sacrifice. Yet when her daughter asked, she did not hesitate to plonk her butt in that uncomfortable chair and aeroplane nap. I would hope most parents would chose to do the same; put the needs of their children well above their own needs.

On the occasions when I inhabited the same universe as my boys, we got to spend some special time together.

Bloemfontein is home to a massive military base called Tempe. Tempe is really a big suburb subdivided into the various military divisions. We explored the base stopping at the parabat and armour museums.  The parabat museum was closed, yet somebody kindly found the key and then proceeded to give us a personal tour. I made sure to take a photograph of Luke smiling under a sign which said; ‘a mind is like a parachute, it only works when it is open!’ The armour division was boy heaven! Imagine streets and streets lined with old tanks. We browsed for ages and eventually found the appropriate Sherman for our garage. Unfortunately the army killjoys would not let us take it home.

Another shared dimension saw us touring the local city zoo. I had not been to a zoo since I was a child. And zoos have not changed much since then. Lazy, fat animals in cages too small for them! Still not my favourite place, especially when we are so used to seeing animals in their natural habitat. My boys were fascinated regardless.

The highlight was on the long and boring trip home. Whilst listening to the radio we heard that a convoy of Ferrari's had been spotted on the same highway we were on. The announcer later read out an update that the Ferrari's had turned off and parked at the casino in a town along the road. As luck would have it, we found ourselves at the same town just 20 minutes later. Fired up on spontaneity, we stopped and drooled over the 43 incredible beasts parked there. We left on a high, the journey long forgotten! Luke sent an SMS to the radio station thanking them for the tip, and you can imagine his excitement when it was read on air.

I have two wonderful sons. Time together is to be treasured, regardless of the circumstance

Old men and brown belts

Wednesday night was the year end judo function. It was a little strange to see our large group of Judokas gathered together in civilian clothes. More strange were all of the parents of the children who join the handful of oldies for our twice weekly sweat sessions.


Not long ago, I had been stressing about my grading. We had found out on a Wednesday night that we would be graded on the Friday night. A Provincial representative would also be present to adjudicate the grading, and we would have to complete a special kata, which we were yet to learn! The four of us, who were grading for brown belt, arrived two hours before the grading to try and figure it all out. By grading time, I was dazed and confused, after being slammed into the floor on countless occasions. But we were as ready as we could be. The grading was tough, but we knew our throws, although our execution left much to be desired!

It was rather a relief to see my children receive their new belts; Luke an orange, and Matt a blue stripe. And their dad got his brown!

In order for me to achieve my black belt goal, it will take another two years of Judo. Then I will get to stress all over again as I face a panel grading.

The upside is that I get to do Judo with my children for at least another two years! And it often surprises me how valuable this shared time is to all of us!

and time goes on...

Luke and I took the Beast down to the sea for a surf. The Beast decided to stay at the beach and watch the two of us frolic in the water. A good call! The waves were small but it was hard work to tow Luke out to backline after every wave that he caught. He still has not mastered the art of duck diving and hence the need for my muscle power. Unfortunately, my muscles were feeling somewhat depleted after a mere two and a half hours at the Judoka practising all of the throws required for my Brown belt grading in two weeks time.


Just last week, Matthew asked if he could go to surf lessons, and so we spent Thursday evening in sea together. It was a very short session, but then again the weather was abysmal. Perhaps one day, I will get to spend some really valuable time surfing with my two boys...

It was wonderful to be in the water again. To feel these tiny waves sliding under my feet. To watch Luke’s joy as he experienced the same sensations! Somewhere in all of the salt water, sea spray, and beautiful blue sky I finally made the decision to declutter my life. I have thought about it, blogged about, and talked about it, but now it is time to do something about it.

Just about every evening in my week is taken up by some or other activity. I hardly see my wife in the evenings anymore. That must change! I want to spend more time with my wife doing stuff, instead of us doing our own stuff at the same time. For that reason, Action Cricket, Action Soccer, and Forum are all activities that must cease immediately. Other activities like some of my charity and church stuff will need to be phased out. Especially the stuff that I attend but make no meaningful contribution. That is just a waste.

Hopefully I will just be left with the crèche as a charity project, judo and surfing as my sporting pursuits, and time for my wife and children.

And then perhaps I can try again to be the father and husband I really yearn to be!

A little more time

I had a lunch the other day with one of my clients. We ended up getting rather philosophical over her soup and my tortilla.

She told me about a project that her two sisters and her had given their parents. They provided their parents with a scrapbook and a long list of deep and probing questions about events in their lives. Surprisingly enough, the parents expended an enormous amount of energy and produced an incredible piece of work. Actually, it’s probably not that surprising, as this project gave them the opportunity to leave a legacy.

One of the questions was ‘What would you have done differently?’ They got two distinctly different answers. Mom was clear that she would have changed nothing about the way she had lived her life. Dad’s answer was more telling. He would have preferred to spend more time with his family and taken more risks in his business. The latter, I suppose, may have created the time for the former.

This answer does not surprise me at all. Men are conditioned to go to work, spend their lives working, and then retire to do some travelling. As a general rule, it is nonsense. Life is not about retirement, it is about the here and now. Nothing important is worth putting off until later because everything will be completely different then!

His answer was good for me, in an unexpected way. My own business is doing well at the moment. Unfortunately, it has eaten into my family time, taken away my surfing, and usurped all of my freedom. The very reasons I left work and started something small! I have some interesting strategic choices to make. If I am conservative, I will keep on doing things in the same way, and perhaps little by little give up my dream. If I take some risks, just maybe, I can have both.

It is time for some risk!!!

A hodgepodge update

It seems like ages since I last posted anything and I am feeling appropriately guilty. So much has been going on; most of it in a state of sleep deprivation!

It gets worse; I even found myself looking forward to a kids birthday party. One of Luke’s friends invited him and I to a camp out on their family farm. Apart from my enjoyment of camping and the ‘coolness’ factor of spending quality time with my oldest, I had an ulterior motive that involved uninterrupted slumber. The lads had a roaring time as did the dads but I was happy to hear the lads ordered off to bed. I found the process of putting my son to bed so tiring that I decided to crawl into my sleeping bag to rest for a while. A howling wind, a lack of fibre in my sleeping bag, and a thin mattress ensured that my sleep was far from comfortable or interrupted. Regardless, it was the best kids birthday party I have ever attended!

The weekend also saw me taking a number of photographs of a family in my new makeshift lounge studio. I was surprised how easy it was to capture some really great portraits. Once again, the blindingly obvious that practise makes perfect shone on through! Although I am far from perfect...

Work has recently come pouring through the door. Hopefully it will keep on coming in although it does mean that my book is now on the back burner again. At least this time I know that I can pick it up at any time and carry on. I will finish it; I have a story to tell and a message to share!

Judo last night was also a revelation. I walked out of the Judoka without a single new injury, a first in many weeks. Please note that I also managed to walk and not stagger out using my two boys as walking sticks. I have a sneaky suspicion that my Judo improvement has something to do with my brain being firmly engaged again! Is it possible that an engaged brain means one is able to perform better in all aspects of life? If so, how do I keep it engaged when not fully engrossed in a project?

And the new star of our family has certainly kept us on our toes. There is no doubt in my mind that the human brain is programmed to forget the constant minding that a new born requires, the sleeplessness, the inability to reason, the complete lack of communication, and the incredible joy of having had a small part to play in this fragile new creation!

All sorts of new charity projects have suddenly sparked my interest. Just this morning I met a chap in the school parking lot who is planning to rent a warehouse to house the homeless in our town. Here I was contemplating the lack of surfable waves and this chap is trying to make the lives of at least 100 people better than ever! I can certainly see myself getting involved in a piece of that. First though, I have to get my Sir Lowry’s Village ‘fix a house’ project going. I have a number of volunteers including a builder. My mom has also made a donation of R1000 to get us started. With a bit of luck, we will be able to make a real difference in the living conditions of a family or two with that.

Dear Isabella is gentle calling me over. I must find out what she needs...

We are back

What a wonderful weekend. Not only was I privileged to witness a good friend of mine ordained as a Catholic priest but also found myself immersed in the warmth of old friendships.

Justin’s ordination, about which I shall blog more later, was a catalyst for bringing together school friends from 19 years ago. Sure, we have seen each other on occasions since then, but this was the first time that we were all together. Truly frightening was that all of these old friends had discovered the art of procreation and perfected it in their numerous offspring. Out of 7 mates, there are now 14 children and 2 current pregnancies. And one of those friends is a priest and does not count!

Amongst them, I found a comrade who also shares a love of old Fords with big engines that like to drink! Lots!

Besides the school mates, the weekend gave us the opportunity to reconnect with a number of our Johannesburg friends. To write that I have been extra ordinarily blessed with a number of incredibly deep male friendships would be an understatement! I am still great mates with one of the first bosses of my working career, from my time at the Johannesburg Council. It is a relationship which needs little in the form of daily, weekly or even monthly maintenance, yet when we get together we connect so deeply that a conversation is a holiday! We both have this feeling that in the future, we will end up doing some good together. I have no idea what it may be, but it is comforting to know that at least one heavyweight is prepared to fight at my side!

And then there was the time spent with heaps of friends and family, all most appreciated and thoroughly relaxing. There is nothing like time spent with others! To all of those friends and family that entertained us with love and copious amounts of food; we love you guys!

Family Time in the Mountains

Yesterday was a good day, family time!

It all started with a trip to church together. Surprisingly that went well and the wriggling, squirming, and complaining was much reduced. A short trip to the local supermarket for some picnic goodies and we were almost set to go. The smart church clothes were retired in favour of good walking shoes, shorts, and a backpack. The backpack filled with essentials like costumes, towels, and a first aid kit. In my family it pays to be prepared!

We were going on a family walk. A recent brainstorm has been that some walking in the majestic mountains that surround us will provide not only health benefits but some good family time. Today’s walk was to be just a short 45 minute foray up a mountain to Luiperd’s Kloof in Betty’s Bay.

We set off with much excitement, the boys practically running up the path! Things settled down with Matthew taking over the role as pace man. For a short kid with only four years of experience in life, he was pretty quick. We climbed over boulders, crossed bridges, hopped across rivers, climbed ladders, and had a thoroughly great time. We saw birds, insects, lizards, tadpoles, fish, and crabs. About halfway along the walk we came to a locked gate, to which we had been given the key. From this point to the top of the gorge, the walk took place in a forest. It was lovely and cool and a coke coloured stream swished past us. Don’t fear, the coke colour is a result of tannins in the soil. The water was cold, crystal clear, and tasted slightly like a fruit tea.



The top part of the walk was the adventure section, or at least that is what my children seemed to feel. Due to the steepness of the gorge, a network of ladders led to the top. Obviously huge fun for any kid! We had our picnic at a lovely pool in a large grotto. Just behind the grotto, water cascaded about 30 metres down a series of rocks covered in mosses and vines. It was peaceful and beautiful.

Then my eldest decided that he needed the toilet and that things could not wait. Hmmmm. So after a quick dash down the mountain, he made it safely to the bathroom at the bottom. Much relieved!

We then visited the penguin sanctuary in Betty's Bay where thousands of penguins huddle together. After meeting this creature’s virtual partner in many movies, my children were thrilled to meet the real thing.



On the way home, we passed one of my favourite surf sports, called Paranoia. My wife had never seen the place and it was time for her to be introduced. The wind was savage and so we poked around in a couple of rock pools before heading off home.

What a wonderful day. Family day is to now become a Sunday tradition. We all agreed that walking is fun and enjoyable. The mountains around us are covered in walking trails, and it is so exciting to find that we can enjoy them together. I was most proud of my children who had not a word of complaint

At long last I feel as if I have done something fatherly; created a new family tradition and found time for some real family interaction! Yeha!