The understanding that your life is not what it should be AND the courage to do something about it!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Anyone else interested in the ME degree?
Lately I have had this mental oscillation where I have been unsure where I add value in my life. I think the answer is now far clearer, I am gaining competencies in some diverse areas of my life. When opportunities arise, I hope to be in an incredible position to be able to pounce! I also hope that I will be able to select the opportunities that fall into my areas of passion and will continue to invigorate and inspire me for the rest of my life!
Talking about inspiring, I had a good day yesterday. It was a long and hard day as it was a day spent as an apprentice. It was strange in that for a change I was the chap that knew nothing about what was going down. I was also the guy who had to ask stupid questions to try and anticipate the real player’s needs. And I was the guy who just did as he was told. It was a day filled with learning and I spent it on a Top Billing Magazine food shoot. It was pretty awesome. I got to see my photography mentor in action with a client, and there sure was heaps to observe in those interactions. I got to watch how all of the players dealt with shooting under pressure and how they responded. More than all of that I got to be a fly on the wall and observe a creative process evolve, and I was enthralled.
I got asked a question yesterday that I am not sure I answered completely. I suppose the question cut to the heart of my year, what am I planning to do after this year? The simple answer is that I don’t really know but am open to possibilities where life will happen on my terms. The more complex answer is that I am going to ensure that work fits into my life and not the other way around. I want to be passionate and inspired about what I do and so I think that I will end up doing a whole multitude of different things that excite me and bring in an income. Perhaps I will do a little bit of consulting, mixed in with some wedding photography, together with some share trading. Then again perhaps some other very interesting and exciting opportunities will come my way and those will need to be tried and tested. This is certainly a year in which I intend to observe the world through new eyes and come to some dramatic new realisations. Fear not, when I know, I will be sure to let all of you know!!
Seems rather strange that I am so excited by a photo shoot but then again, I have spent far too much of my life in places and roles that have not excited me in the least. I know that my life was certainly over complicated and it is wonderful to take joy from simple things again!
Friday, January 25, 2008
I discovered a little book called ‘What is Worthwhile?’ by Anna Robertson Brown. I thought wow, this is exactly what I want to know! This little book is just that, 32 pages of Anna’s insight, bound in a hard cover. Online you can buy a used copy for $200 and I think I also saw it for just over 299 Pounds in the UK. You can only get it used as it was printed in 1893 but remained in print for over 70 years!
As you can imagine, I could not get a copy right away and so I did a bit more research. It seems that two people have used the content on the web; Shelby G Floyd, who is a pastor of the Church of Christ (he used the contents in a sermon) and an Australian lady by the name of Meghjanmi who is also a bloggist under the name of bhaavapatrika. I am indebted to both these people as their insight has been powerful.
Back to the book, Anna opens with the following lines:
‘Only one life to live! We all want to make the most of it. How can we accomplish the most with the energies and powers at our command? What is worthwhile?We cannot possibly grasp the whole of life. What is vital? What may we profitably let go? We may let go all things which we cannot carry into eternal life.’
Only one life to live – precisely why living this life right is so important to me! She carries on to say that we need to drop four things from our lives:
1. ‘Drop pretence’; eternity is not for frauds.
2. ‘Drop worry’; worry is a fumbling way of looking at little things and magnifying their value.
3. ‘Let go of discontent’; make a heroic life of what is set before us.
4. ‘Let go of self seeking’; all things are for all.
What do you think, I think it is rather a pity I am unable to read the full text of her book. Anyway, Anna goes on to expound eight values to enhance our lives. Take a look, and I apologise if I have not correctly attributed the right quotes to Anna:
1. ‘Be wise in the use of time.’ the question in life is not how much time we have, but the question is what shall we do with it?
2. ‘Value work. But not any kind of work. Ask yourself, is the work vital, strengthening my own character or inspiring others or helping the world’
3. ‘Seek happiness each day. If you are not happy today, you will never be happy. Strive to be patient, unselfish, purposeful, strong, eager and work mightily. If you do these things with a grateful heart, you will be happy, at least as happy as it is given man to be on earth.’
4. ‘Cherish love. True love never nags, it trusts. Love does not have to be tethered either in time or eternity.’
5. ‘Keep ambition in check There is the great danger of substituting intellectual ambition for ordinary human affections. Let us keep it in bounds. Let us seek it that it holds a just proportion in our lives.’
6. ‘Embrace friendship’ Embrace friendship. It takes a great soul to be true friend. One must forgive much, forget much, forebear much.’
7. ‘Do not fear sorrow’ Disappointment in life is inevitable. Pain is the common lot. Sorrow is not given to us alone that we may mourn; it is given us that having felt, suffered, wept, we may be able to understand love and bless.’
8. ‘Cherish faith’ Strong, serene, unquenchable faith in the loving kindness of God will enable us to look fearlessly toward the end of the temporal existence and the beginning of the eternal and will make it possible for us to live our lives effectively, grandly.’
So here is a point of view of a lady in the USA in the late nineteenth century. And it resonates with me 114 years later! Have we discovered the most amazing things in the last hundred years and yet failed to discover ourselves? Are there so few people that are searching for real meaning and significance in life that this stuff is almost hidden from view? I am not sure that I can add anything.........
Thursday, January 24, 2008
The principal of the school asked me how the man of leisure was doing. I blogged yesterday about this being my favourite question. Yes, I know I am doing nothing to earn an income but I am not sitting around doing nothing! Anyway she said that she was chatting to my son and asked him what his dad was doing. He replied that his dad was writing a book. She asked him if he knew what it was about. He said that his dad was writing a book on how to get a job! So at last I know what my kids think I am up to. Interesting that at the age of three my son understands that having a job is important!
I also did a bit of homework this morning. I took some photographs of my running shoes. I failed to take them out for a run today, so I thought that they could feature in my blog. If you are wondering why this photo does not look like my running shoes, you obviously are pretty sharp! I tried to use some of my new Photoshop techniques, and no, I did not turn my shoes into a cat, but have discovered that it is never a good idea to photograph stuff you want to cut out, with a grass background! As a result, my cat became the focus of my attention.
I also had a very interesting discussion with a chap from church this morning. He shared some of his books with me and told me his story about values. He used to work for a mining company. The day before his holiday he was asked by his boss’s boss to dismiss an employee. On investigating the issue, he could find no reason to do so and reported this to his boss. He went on holiday and on his return discovered that he had been retrenched. I suppose that there are many stories out there that talk to people standing up for their values and paying for it dearly. His point is that he can live with himself today as he did the right thing. In the end both himself and this employee that he was asked to fire were both given their jobs back. What a painful and annoying thing to go through due to the ego and values of senior people in your organisation!
I was amazed that he was able to go back to work in that environment. How on earth do you screw your head back on in such a way as to be the best possible employee for an organisation that has treated you so badly. I suppose it talks again to attitude – with the right attitude, anything is possible.
The other key issue to me is that we need to stand up for what we believe is right. If we don’t, we just sell another piece of our soul very cheaply and that is the last thing that this world needs!
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
One of the experiments that he quotes involved a group of people from a nursing home. The frailest residents were chosen for the exercise which involved a weight training regimen. It was reported that within eight weeks, wasted muscles had improved by 300% and there were improvements in both coordination and balance. These are amazing results! Some of the residents who had not been able to walk unaided were now able to walk to the bathroom on their own. Chopra commented that the true wonder was that the youngest partaker was 87 years old, and the oldest 96!
Chopra then contends that nothing physically in the body changed for this to happen. If you are 96 years and afraid of moving, you will waste away. All that changed in this experiment were the mind sets of the people involved. Suddenly they had a new belief that at the age of 87+ it was a good idea to step into a weight room and push some weight.
Does this not show how incredibly powerful our beliefs can be. It makes you think, does it not? I know that this is only one study, but then again Chopra is not the only person out there who has the same contention. There are so many books out there on the subject of beliefs and their power. So if it is true, what does this mean for you and I?
I certainly want to be that 96 year old dude in the weight room pushing weights with my great grandson! Not only that, I want to get rid of absolutely all the beliefs in my life that are limiting me in any way.
A long time ago, I read in some surfing literature, and yes there is such a thing, a tip for catching waves. It was written that if you are going to paddle for a wave, paddle as if your life depended on it, otherwise do not bother. I think that this also talks to attitude in life. Give whatever you are doing everything you have got, otherwise you should be questioning why you are bothering. Are you looking for poor or average returns? I suppose that this is what you get if you don’t put it all in.
I am a fan of giving life my all!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
OK, back to me now, the boring part. I had a great day yesterday. The reason was that for the period of a day, I was able to shut down my automatic need to produce something worthwhile to feel worthwhile. Instead I was able to glory in the now and enjoy the multitude of distractions that came my way. I spent my time in places that I thought valuable, on my wife and on my children. I also made some headway on editing chapter two!
The nasty reoccurring thought that continues to bother me is that I am living in a world of fiction. One side of me is keen to jump in and go and earn some money and that way I will know where I stand in the world. On the other side, I know that I am trying to build a better life and that this is going to take some time and money.
I keep thinking back to a conversation that I had with a mate of mine in Johannesburg where he asked me if I am making this move for selfish reasons (an extended holiday). Everyone I meet asks me if I am rested and relaxed after all of my time at home. Yet I am spending most of my day involved in good hard thinking work with no apparent value.
With regard to the value thought, I am surrounded by intangibles and questions. Creativity is completely intangible. How on earth do you know that you have written a good chapter? Do you just know? How do I put a cost or a value on time spent with my wife on stuff that is important to her or time spent getting down to my children’s level? I have recently made major breakthroughs in this arena, I have started to relate in a far more valuable and personal way. Will I have to give this up again at some stage?
I suppose the key issue is how on earth can I be having so much fun and still be doing the right thing? Surely the fact that I am having fun means that I am slacking off and this is to be avoided at all costs. Yet much of the fun is a new found joy in my children and my wife. I am loving being challenged by new technologies and skills. I am thoroughly revitalised by the amount of exercise that is now part of my daily life. I love my trip to work and I am starting to really enjoy writing! Is there an underlying assumption in my mind that life is not supposed to be fun? Is it actually possible to live a life that is filled with fun and joy and put food on the table? Or am I just deluding myself and having fun at the expense of the family?
My mind is a seesaw. Please do forgive me. I have never had to deal with a life lived in complete uncertainty about how I fit in. I hope that my mental debate is valuable in that it keeps me focussed on my goals and the need to ensure that within this year I am able to set up a life that is balanced just right for me.
Logically I know that the time to act is when I actually stumble across opportunity. It does not help if I stress about these things now. Rather I have a different opportunity right now and I need to make the most of it, right now. What a BONUS that it is FUN at the same time!!!
Monday, January 21, 2008
I will put myself out there at every opportunity.
I will find the good in every single waking moment of my day.
I will plan less and be moved to love more.
I will take time every day to reflect and pray.
I will not be right all of the time.
Apart from my learning to write, blog and photograph, these are a couple more things that I need to master. I suppose that this is one of the joys and beauties of life, continuous learning.
I used to do a lot of hiking when I was a scout many years ago. There was a particular phenomenon that I called ‘the never ending hill’. If you have spent any time hiking, you will understand what I am talking about. Essentially you walk up a hill and you focus on getting to the top. The only thing is once you get to this top, you find that there is still more hill in front of you. Once you get to what you again thought was the top, another part of the hill looms in front of you. And so it goes on. My never ending hill is an analogy for what I seem to have learnt and what still lies ahead. Just as I think that I have mastered something, another vista of immense learning rears up in front of me and humbles me by it’s magnitude. The more I learn, the more I understand that I know less that I ever thought I knew. When hiking, the never ending hill is a painful process as it mentally and physically saps your strength. In life, I am finding that there is a trick to the never ending hill. Where in hiking, the goal is getting to the top, in life it is all about drinking in the opportunities along the way. I am starting to believe that it does not matter how much knowledge or wisdom I have but, how well I have used that which I have gained.
This is an immensely difficult concept for me as I have spent my entire life focussed on the top, i.e. getting things done as fast as possible. Now I need to slow down and forget about the list that needs ticking. I have to calm that beast within in me that drives me relentlessly forward and distract it with offerings that it does not want or understand. Of all my challenges, this one frightens me the most as I do not want to end up on the other extreme where I lie down and let life happen to me.
Somehow, I just have to find the balance.....
Friday, January 18, 2008
I did discover search keywords. You may be scratching your head, you may not. A search keyword is a word that is linked to your site and as I understand it, is used by search engines to index and then find your site. Sounds pretty simple, or at least I thought it was. I then had to find out what HTML code was required and then how to insert this HTML into the code for the blog. All very ambitious projects for me! In my twaling I discovered that it is essential to have the right keywords. It is pointless to include keywords that nobody ever looks for. I then had to check out the popularity of the words that I thought described my blog.
What I found was rather unexpected. One of the words that I have used is family. Did you know that there are 7978 daily searches for the word 'family'? More interesting is that there are 7608 searches for ‘family sex’ and more than 53,000 searches for topics on 'family nudity'. 25,000 people have searched on the word ‘love’ but a whopping 4,241 people searched on ‘father makes love to daughter’. Interesting stuff about just two of the words I checked. These numbers come from a site called Wordtracker Keywords. I have included the URL at the bottom of this site for interest. HAH, do you know what URL stands for, I still dont!
I was flabbergasted to see these numbers. Did I miss something growing up? Are there that many people who indulge in family sex? Are there that many people that are confused by nudity in the home and need reassurance / stimulation? Obviously these keywords are indications of things that people want to know.
Either way this is a reflection on our society - very simply anything goes. If you are an anything goes kind of person, then you are in the wrong place, although I could hope that this blog would bore you into conservatism. For the rest of us, this is another set of things that we cannot shield our children from. As a parent, we sure do have a tough role to play to ensure that our kids grow up well adjusted and free from the social evils of society.
I will blog more on exactly how to play that parental role when I get my free wisdom download in about 100 years time! I am going to enjoy the fact that some of these socially deviant searchers are going to stumble across my conservative site in their quest for their fix due to me using these words in my blog – don’t think this will stop them though!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Just like photography, there are vast amounts of knowledge that one can acquire in this field. There is no way that I could ever expect to assimilate the right knowledge to ensure that I function optimally. Functioning optimally is important. Why on earth would you want a longer route when there are options available that will save you time. To me, time is the most important resource that I have. Problem is that I only have it right now! In the business environment, I know that it pays to outsource activities that are not your core competence. Certainly in the IT field, I intend to outsource this stuff to somebody who is passionate about IT. Just with my minimal reading on things like my cell phone, laptop, and basic software, I have found so many clever and interesting ways to save me time. I certainly had no idea how we underutilise the gadgets that we have or just how powerful they are. To this point, I think that it is essential to get to grips with the basics of everything that you have. Once there I certainly will then get the passionate pro to help me leverage it all further.
My blog site is another example of simplicity, yet there is so much more that I could be doing. In my scale of how important things are, this ranks as pretty high as I am passionate about my blog. Watch this space, hopefully all of this will get a lot cleverer in time.
On a related note – there is no substitute for passion! Be passionate about everything that you do, be it cleaning the house or making dinner. I certainly believe that there are hidden rewards deep within us when we truly engage with what we dong!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
On the photography front I have been going through heaps of tutorials in order to increase my skills and abilities. Man, there is so much to learn. At least I am keen and eager to learn as much as possible and suck the vast knowledge resources dry. The problem with learning this skill is that there is such a vast array of knowledge out there and one feels rather overwhelmed before you start. I am very lucky to have a mentor in the photography game who has taken a real interest in me. The only problem is that he keeps giving me homework!!! I thought that I would be able to assist in some way or another as an apprentice but right now this is not really the case. I don’t have any real skills that he can use apart from packing boxes and burning DVD’s. Both of which are highly fascinating and scintillating activities! What has been awesome is that he has still taken me on even though there is no value that I can add to him or his business. In fact I get in the way and slow him down due to my incessant and childlike questions.
For me this speaks to goodness. There are so many ways that you and I can go out of our way in order to help others. I think that if we are honest, there is always a cost to us but the benefit to the other person is immense and far outweighs that cost. Society today frowns on anyone who lets another get away with something and yet this is the very heart of charity. Do we provide our children with the example of a self centred approach to the world or do we let them learn from our examples of love in action? I think that it will be example of love that will bear the most fruit, assuming that you want your children to grow up to be compassionate, charitable, and useful members of this world.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Today I thought that I would quote a mate of mine who lives on a beach in New Zealand.
My opinion....for what it’s worth and based on successful people that I know (successful not necessarily monetary wise though) is that the conflict between wealth gain and other values only comes about where wealth gain is the objective. When we do what we are passionate about typically we provide more value to society and others than when we don't. When we provide more value we earn more and are typically more wealthy monetary wise. More importantly though we are content in what we are doing and have a better value system. We are not chasing the money....the money is a by product of our passions.
I had to include this quote as this is essentially the essence of the book that I am trying to write. Focus on your values and your passions and the rest will fall into place! I have been trying for some time to capture my key message that I would like to convey and now here it is. Thanks buddy for your insight!
What do you think?
Monday, January 14, 2008
Last night we asked him about his expectations for the day. Wearing his uniform ranked at the top of the list followed very closely by seeing his mates. I think that he was just glad to escape the boredom brought on by these endless school holidays (or is that me?). Either way, there was no nervousness or tears. Tell you the truth, from all of the 1st school day media reporting, I thought that the majority of children cried. Certainly not the case at school this morning, I think that the only moist eyes were those of parents.
What struck me, apart from the magnitude of the day in my son’s life, was that there were plenty of men at school. So many dads had taken the time to be a part of this occasion. And yes, this is a small thing yet massive in our children’s lives. For me, I was there! I had actually made my first appearance at a special occasion in my son’s life. Had I been in my old job, I would have missed the event as I would have been on a plane to Johannesburg for a mission critical meeting this morning (as they all are!). Instead my replacement was on the plane and I was doing what a good dad should be doing! Hopefully the first event of many that I will not have VERY good excuses to miss.
To the dads who made the effort – viva! To all the children who start their new life this week – I say long may this euphoria about learning last!
Friday, January 11, 2008
My financial advisor’s thinking was rather inspired. He suggested that the issue of enough can be applied not only to money but to any other aspect of our life. He asked, by way of example, when is enough religion enough? Should we be in church daily or should it be once a week? Perhaps we only need to pray every day or perhaps once in a while is enough? These questions can be applied to every aspect of our lives and every activity that we engage in.
I think that the view in society is do what you desire. Sure we talk about balance but what does this really mean. Spending equal amounts of time on money generation, religion, family, health, etc. Is it possible to divide our lives clinically into equal segments? Reality is that the money part seems to take most of our time even if the money that we are earning is just enough to cover the bills (most jobs are 8 hours a day which is already one third of our lives). Is it possible though that our most valuable investment of time is in the other areas of our lives?
We often talk about the concept of balance and everything in moderation. I think that this is a good guiding principle. I do think that we need to look deeper within ourselves to understand what is really important. Once we understand this, we need to balance the way we spend our time to match what is of core importance to us. If this means going to church every day, then we are in balance.
Am I talking nonsense??????
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Earlier, I had a thought that I am living in dreamland. Here I am, highly energised after another run, swim, shower, family breakfast, etc. going to work on something that I am really excited about. I question how long this utopia could possibly last? The answer is simply that my last pay check comes at the end of this month and after that I may get a little more stressed. Until then, it is time to seize the day!
I hope that you have been busy changing the world – bit by bit. Don’t let me down out there – do something worthwhile today!
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Today is the day that I start my photography apprenticeship. I have no idea what to expect and I think that the guy I am going to join is rather unsure of me too. I have to say that I am rather excited. This apprenticeship is food for my soul. It’s all about following one of my passions. I hope to learn some skills that are going to enable me to generate deep satisfaction from this art through the rest of my life. Just another step in my dream come true!
What to write, what to write….
Monday, January 7, 2008
I do have a rant this morning. The family and I went to see Surfs Up last week. I assumed (and it would seem mistakenly so) that this is a children’s movie. After all, it is an animated movie that was released in the school holidays with no age restriction. Imagine my surprise when at 10h15, we were bombarded by alcohol advertising. This is not an anti alcohol rant. Far be it for me to complain, as I have spent 11 good years in this industry. From my experience, I was of the understanding that it is taboo to influence minors with regard to alcohol in any way.
Roll on an advert for rum, followed by one for a desert cream liqueur, then an advert about drawing the line, followed by a Vodka and then a Whisky advert to close the alcohol section. Just as I breathed a sigh of relief, there was then a violent war scene advertising gaming on the internet. My kids eyes were swimming and questions spewed out of their mouths. They absolutely lapped it all up and it brought home how easily youngsters can be influenced.
I am not sure how you feel, but I think it is unacceptable and dangerous to advertise inappropriately. I did not pay to expose my children to that rubbish! My ire has blossomed into a complaint that the Advertising Standards Authority will be receiving later today. That will make me feel a little better. Even more exciting is the fact that my pilgrimage has already started to yield some fruit!
Friday, January 4, 2008
Fever or unremembered wings,
And I went on my way,
Deciphering,
That burning fire,
And I wrote the first bare line,
Bare, without substance, pure,
Foolishness,
Pure wisdom,
Of one who knows nothing,
And suddenly I saw,
The heavens,
Unfastened,
And open.
Here is a poem called La Poessia by Pablo Neruda which I picked up in a course that I attended at UCT. And no, I did not do a course on poetry! In fact it was the first course that I have ever completed where poetry was quoted as part of the presentation. I have to say it was brilliant. What was more interesting was that the man who gave the course is a renowned mathematician who presented on complexity. Now picture this, an esteemed and highly intelligent mathematic individual presenting that being right is irrelevant! Talk about complexity! I have to say I thoroughly enjoyed the argument. If we all were not as concerned about being right, think about the amount of friction that would be removed from our world……To be able to swallow your pride and accede to somebody else when you believe you are right – that takes unbelievable humility. Is it possible that we all have this ability within us?
The reason that I included this poem was not to talk maths but rather to include my inspiration as I head forth and try and write my first line. It is rather a daunting thought – my very first line! The baring of my soul to the world will be encapsulated in that line. That same line needs to be so powerful that you will be drawn in, captivated and enthralled. And it will then gently tug you onto the next line and soon you will be on a magic carpet ride filled with ideas and inspiration. Yes, my first line is going to have to be something really special.
And that line is…….yeah maybe I will write it tomorrow?
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
I thought that this task would be simple, just a couple of refinements to a plan I put together a couple of months ago. I could not have been more wrong. The old book that I had planned was all about me. Now, all 13 of the chapters I had carefully detailed will fit into 1 chapter. I am amazed to see that I have continued to grow over the last couple of months. A plan that I thought was awesome then, will be replaced by something that I think is awesome now. I hope that my updated attempt will reflect a much closer version of what I want to achieve. I also have no doubt that I will continue to refine my material as this project progresses.
As part of my preparation for this book, I have spent the last 4 months writing one to two pages a day. These pages are filled with thoughts and random useless wandering ideas. I have now spent some time going back through them and trawling them for ideas. I am thoroughly amazed not only by the experiences that I have had and the value of the thoughts that are contained in these pages but also by the sheer magnitude of them. These thoughts are to become the basis for my book. What a bonus to find that I have inadvertently captured the bulk of the clever ideas that I will need. Now I just have to find an amazing, humerous and inspiring way to put them all together! I think I have a bit of work to do…..
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
The power is in your hands to make a difference.
I am in awe at how privileged I am to be able to so completely change my life. My new life starts today too. The power is in my hands to either make a massive difference in the lives of many people or to throw it away and waste all that I have been blessed with. I fully realise that the easy path is the fun one, the one that is wasteful and useless. The harder path is the one in which I will be able to make a difference. I know that I have the support of my friends and family. I know that I am embarking on a journey that feels right and so I hope that God will smile on it. I feel rested and relaxed and it is time for me to unleash all that I have. I hope that you will feel it too!!!
My message to you today, is go out and do something that is difficult but will make a difference to somebody! And then go and do it again tomorrow, and the next day and ….…..
I will try and do the same on my side and hopefully together we can make a real difference.