My sons and I embarked on a rather ambitious adventure last night. Although, I must admit it was only I that found it ambitious. My sons think they have discovered utopia!
We went off to the local Judoka in order to join our first Judo class together. The boys absolutely loved it, almost 2 hours of exercises, fighting, wresting, and loads of incredible throws.
It has been more than 23 years since I last set foot on a Judo mat. Some things came back to me, things that had been ingrained in my being from the many years of my youth spent practising this art. Then, I was pretty good at Judo. Last night though, I was well and truly humbled!
I did discover that my fitness level is fantastic and I still have loads of my flexibility. This morning my body aches and I have some most spectacular bruises to show for my effort.
My wife is more than a little concerned... I feel challenged!
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Children lost
A terrible thing happened on our street this weekend. One of my neighbours lost his children. Forever!
It should never happen, but it turns out that it can.
Imagine a whirl wind romance over the internet. Follow this up with a divorce, full custody of the children to the wife, and the newly ex husband left with nothing. The newly freed wife off on a plane across the world to pursue her love interests with her internet beau, with her children in tow.
Far be it for me to comment on other people’s relationships but I do feel for my neighbour.
Imagine knowing that you have said goodbye to your children and that you may not see them again for many years... Imagine knowing that your future relationship with your children will be telephone only and that your life as a dad is over, even though it should not be...even though you don’t want it to be.
The pain inside! The agony of the loss! The endless questioning of self, what could I have done differently? The sense of failure! Wanting to forget but not daring to! Wanting to move on but without deserting your flesh and blood. It has to be tough, far tougher than I would dare to imagine.
It makes me want to go out and fix it, but unfortunately there is little that I can change. All I can offer is friendship and support. But it still makes me feel rather helpless.
It should never happen, but it turns out that it can.
Imagine a whirl wind romance over the internet. Follow this up with a divorce, full custody of the children to the wife, and the newly ex husband left with nothing. The newly freed wife off on a plane across the world to pursue her love interests with her internet beau, with her children in tow.
Far be it for me to comment on other people’s relationships but I do feel for my neighbour.
Imagine knowing that you have said goodbye to your children and that you may not see them again for many years... Imagine knowing that your future relationship with your children will be telephone only and that your life as a dad is over, even though it should not be...even though you don’t want it to be.
The pain inside! The agony of the loss! The endless questioning of self, what could I have done differently? The sense of failure! Wanting to forget but not daring to! Wanting to move on but without deserting your flesh and blood. It has to be tough, far tougher than I would dare to imagine.
It makes me want to go out and fix it, but unfortunately there is little that I can change. All I can offer is friendship and support. But it still makes me feel rather helpless.
Monday, August 3, 2009
More than Enough
My wife and I spent Saturday doing some serious spring cleaning. Not because it is spring but rather because of an unshakable feeling that we have too much stuff. We have so much that just sits in drawers and cupboards and never gets used. What a waste, when so many people living just a few kilometres from our house could really make great use of it all.
Anyhow, we worked hard and late and forgot to plan for dinner. Hence why I found myself with a mound of take aways on the front seat of my car. Whilst passing a number of people hunched into their clothes against the cold and walking tiredly home, I had an interesting thought. What if I stopped and randomly handed one of them a packet of hot chips? Surely I had more than enough food to feed my family? And even if it was not enough, I have more than enough other food at home...
Then I really got to thinking. How would I know that the person I chose to feed deserved my gift? How would I know that they would not be offended?
So I drove on home...
I am such an idiot. We had a great meal and we had food left over. I felt really bad. Nothing like having a charitable thought and not following through! Pathetic!
I love receiving stuff. It does not matter what it is, it is just great to get something for nothing. I have no doubt that anyone out there would be happy for the unexpected random act of kindness. Perhaps they would then pass it on and create a utopian chain of joy. Perhaps they would just have eaten my measly packet of chips and felt full for the first time in the day, or week, or even the month!
I am still kicking myself that I did not share last night. I have more than enough, but most people in my country have almost nothing, and little chance of more!
Then again, there is always today!
Anyhow, we worked hard and late and forgot to plan for dinner. Hence why I found myself with a mound of take aways on the front seat of my car. Whilst passing a number of people hunched into their clothes against the cold and walking tiredly home, I had an interesting thought. What if I stopped and randomly handed one of them a packet of hot chips? Surely I had more than enough food to feed my family? And even if it was not enough, I have more than enough other food at home...
Then I really got to thinking. How would I know that the person I chose to feed deserved my gift? How would I know that they would not be offended?
So I drove on home...
I am such an idiot. We had a great meal and we had food left over. I felt really bad. Nothing like having a charitable thought and not following through! Pathetic!
I love receiving stuff. It does not matter what it is, it is just great to get something for nothing. I have no doubt that anyone out there would be happy for the unexpected random act of kindness. Perhaps they would then pass it on and create a utopian chain of joy. Perhaps they would just have eaten my measly packet of chips and felt full for the first time in the day, or week, or even the month!
I am still kicking myself that I did not share last night. I have more than enough, but most people in my country have almost nothing, and little chance of more!
Then again, there is always today!
Friday, July 31, 2009
Building for the Future
This week has all been about DIY – having another baby will do that to one!
My list is far shorter than at the start of the week but still substantial. My hands are raw and blistered, my ankle is swollen, and my body aches. Well actually the ankle is as a result of yet another skateboarding accident. This time I almost pulled off a new move, then managed to safely disentangle myself from the crash that should have followed, only to be hit on the ankle bone by a flying skateboard. Grrrr.
Apart from the DIY on the home front, my business partner and I, took the opportunity of some business down time to do some of our own kind of community work. I thoroughly enjoy building jungle gyms and there seem to be no shortage of these things that have been donated to crèche’s in underprivileged areas. The only problem is that nobody can figure out how to put them up again.
Somehow I have managed to rope Brad into this world of poles, threaded bolts, and manual labour. I love being presented with a hopeless heap of poles that bears no resemblance to its former glory, and using imagination to create something new and challenging!
Here is the before and after effort from this week. The picture in the middle shows the strength of our build, able to support the antics of both Brad and the school principle Phelisa!
DIY gives me so much personal satisfaction, something to do with delivering something that works or just looks better. As for jungle gyms, Brad and I have erected many together and hopefully they will ensure generations of smiles!
My list is far shorter than at the start of the week but still substantial. My hands are raw and blistered, my ankle is swollen, and my body aches. Well actually the ankle is as a result of yet another skateboarding accident. This time I almost pulled off a new move, then managed to safely disentangle myself from the crash that should have followed, only to be hit on the ankle bone by a flying skateboard. Grrrr.
Apart from the DIY on the home front, my business partner and I, took the opportunity of some business down time to do some of our own kind of community work. I thoroughly enjoy building jungle gyms and there seem to be no shortage of these things that have been donated to crèche’s in underprivileged areas. The only problem is that nobody can figure out how to put them up again.
Somehow I have managed to rope Brad into this world of poles, threaded bolts, and manual labour. I love being presented with a hopeless heap of poles that bears no resemblance to its former glory, and using imagination to create something new and challenging!
Here is the before and after effort from this week. The picture in the middle shows the strength of our build, able to support the antics of both Brad and the school principle Phelisa!
DIY gives me so much personal satisfaction, something to do with delivering something that works or just looks better. As for jungle gyms, Brad and I have erected many together and hopefully they will ensure generations of smiles!
Monday, July 27, 2009
Life of the Unborn
I read an article this weekend about a woman by the name of Pam Stenzel. She is an American motivational speaker who deals with teenage sexuality, and has been giving talks to South African youths.
She was quoted as saying that she is eternally grateful to her 15 year old mother, who after being raped, still loved her enough to have her and then put her up for adoption.
Her simple statement of fact gave me goose bumps. How many other people have never been, because they were aborted before they even had a chance? Surely her mother of all people had the right to terminate a pregnancy disgustingly created by hate. And yet, the product of that hate is a voice of love...
I find that absolutely incredible. Don’t all lives deserve a chance? Or does looking at the miracle of life from the point of the new life skew the debate?
She was quoted as saying that she is eternally grateful to her 15 year old mother, who after being raped, still loved her enough to have her and then put her up for adoption.
Her simple statement of fact gave me goose bumps. How many other people have never been, because they were aborted before they even had a chance? Surely her mother of all people had the right to terminate a pregnancy disgustingly created by hate. And yet, the product of that hate is a voice of love...
I find that absolutely incredible. Don’t all lives deserve a chance? Or does looking at the miracle of life from the point of the new life skew the debate?
Thursday, July 23, 2009
A Cot for a Babe
My youngest son and I put together the cot today. Yes, four months ahead of time, the cot is now a fixture in the new babies room. Well so far it just contains the cot, a rocking chair, and some semi clean cupboards. My business partner arrived for a meeting and ended up sweating over a number of furniture re-arrangements. Poor chap!
We are blessed to be able to do a bit of house rearranging and find a room for our third child. The new babies room was our old guest room. Living in the Cape, we have had a constant stream of visitors, something that we have thoroughly enjoyed. Now our visitors will be treated to a more unusual experience, as we convert our studio into a studio cum guest room! I think it will end up being something special! It is of course the one room in the house with views!
The cot was an interesting project. It has been lovingly loaned to us by another family together with some detailed instructions. I think it took me longer to work out the instructions than it took me to put the cot together in my own way! Matt was a great help and only too happy to tell me to get a move on. The reading of instructions is not yet one of his strong suits!
Our first baby made us go out and buy all sorts of fancy stuff to cater for his every need. OK, it was the newbie parents in us that made us do that. Baby number two got everything that baby number one had used. Then we donated everything that was baby relevant to people who we felt could really make use of the stuff. Now that number three is one the way, we have been overwhelmed by the generosity of all those that we know. We may have given away all of our baby stuff, but friends have given us all of that and more. We are most thankful!
Life has an interesting way of working itself out! And this morning, the cot is still as solid as ever, many babies on!
We are blessed to be able to do a bit of house rearranging and find a room for our third child. The new babies room was our old guest room. Living in the Cape, we have had a constant stream of visitors, something that we have thoroughly enjoyed. Now our visitors will be treated to a more unusual experience, as we convert our studio into a studio cum guest room! I think it will end up being something special! It is of course the one room in the house with views!
The cot was an interesting project. It has been lovingly loaned to us by another family together with some detailed instructions. I think it took me longer to work out the instructions than it took me to put the cot together in my own way! Matt was a great help and only too happy to tell me to get a move on. The reading of instructions is not yet one of his strong suits!
Our first baby made us go out and buy all sorts of fancy stuff to cater for his every need. OK, it was the newbie parents in us that made us do that. Baby number two got everything that baby number one had used. Then we donated everything that was baby relevant to people who we felt could really make use of the stuff. Now that number three is one the way, we have been overwhelmed by the generosity of all those that we know. We may have given away all of our baby stuff, but friends have given us all of that and more. We are most thankful!
Life has an interesting way of working itself out! And this morning, the cot is still as solid as ever, many babies on!
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Thinking Forward
Most of us will in our lifetimes sit back and think, who would have thought?
Africa as a travel destination has never really interested me much. For some or other reason, I am more a snow bunny, give me -27 degrees Celsius and heaps of snow and I am happy! A useless passion when one lives in sunny South Africa! Yet just this year, I have visited about 10 odd African countries, some more than once. But all of them remote and hardly likely to be on anyone’s must do list.
These visits have been filled with interesting experiences. Saturday afternoon brought another of those, a run with a group of people called a Hash! I was most surprised to find more than 50 people from all the corners of the earth, pitching up at a brewery in Southern Sudan to go for a run. This Hash is one of many throughout the world with a complete set of traditions that predate World War II. The leaders had gone to immense effort to map out a course that ensured the faster runners ran fast and always ended up back with the group, through double backs, dead ends, and group viewing points. It was rather a marvellous way to make a lot of new friends, sing silly songs, and do my favourite, drink some great beer!
I have no idea what I am doing out here in Africa. Our business is growing in leaps and bounds, and that is highly rewarding, and useful! I have yet to find my groove though. I am sure I am on the way somewhere and that in time, it will become clear. I know that I have the most wonderful family that support me wholeheartedly. I am also deeply loved and have much love to give, but how...
I have no doubt that the invaluable experience gained over the last 18 months is preparing me for something very interesting. I seem to have matured in that the destination is no longer all consuming, instead I am finding contentment on the path. Still far to go on the maturity score though! And one day when I look back on a hot afternoon of contemplation in a remote and obscure part of Africa, it will just be part of the natural progression to where I have ended up!
Africa as a travel destination has never really interested me much. For some or other reason, I am more a snow bunny, give me -27 degrees Celsius and heaps of snow and I am happy! A useless passion when one lives in sunny South Africa! Yet just this year, I have visited about 10 odd African countries, some more than once. But all of them remote and hardly likely to be on anyone’s must do list.
These visits have been filled with interesting experiences. Saturday afternoon brought another of those, a run with a group of people called a Hash! I was most surprised to find more than 50 people from all the corners of the earth, pitching up at a brewery in Southern Sudan to go for a run. This Hash is one of many throughout the world with a complete set of traditions that predate World War II. The leaders had gone to immense effort to map out a course that ensured the faster runners ran fast and always ended up back with the group, through double backs, dead ends, and group viewing points. It was rather a marvellous way to make a lot of new friends, sing silly songs, and do my favourite, drink some great beer!
I have no idea what I am doing out here in Africa. Our business is growing in leaps and bounds, and that is highly rewarding, and useful! I have yet to find my groove though. I am sure I am on the way somewhere and that in time, it will become clear. I know that I have the most wonderful family that support me wholeheartedly. I am also deeply loved and have much love to give, but how...
I have no doubt that the invaluable experience gained over the last 18 months is preparing me for something very interesting. I seem to have matured in that the destination is no longer all consuming, instead I am finding contentment on the path. Still far to go on the maturity score though! And one day when I look back on a hot afternoon of contemplation in a remote and obscure part of Africa, it will just be part of the natural progression to where I have ended up!
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Away from Home
I have been away for the last week. Sunning myself in Southern Sudan! Internet connections are not, should I say, prolific! This post comes to you out of Entebbe in Uganda.
Being away makes me think about the home that I miss so much. So many men relish the chance to get away from home and everything there. I have seen plenty of the ‘what happens on tour, stays on tour’ philosophy as individuals away from home lose their values and morals and do as they please. And they call that freedom....
I must be a strange guy, well actually I am. But I cannot wait to get back home and be reunited with my family, even though it has only been a week away. The living conditions are not tough in Sudan, rather my time here is filled with work. A little loneliness creeps in every once in a while. I would far rather be laughing with my wife instead of sharing sound bytes with strangers over a beer. Just being together and reading our books would be fun! To hear the noisy antics of my children, ruffle their hair, find a lesson in some or other disappointment, stuff I take for granted. I just miss being part of my family.
Home is where I belong. I have been so blessed that my entire life now revolves around home. Even sitting here so far away, I get to appreciate it so much more.
Being away makes me think about the home that I miss so much. So many men relish the chance to get away from home and everything there. I have seen plenty of the ‘what happens on tour, stays on tour’ philosophy as individuals away from home lose their values and morals and do as they please. And they call that freedom....
I must be a strange guy, well actually I am. But I cannot wait to get back home and be reunited with my family, even though it has only been a week away. The living conditions are not tough in Sudan, rather my time here is filled with work. A little loneliness creeps in every once in a while. I would far rather be laughing with my wife instead of sharing sound bytes with strangers over a beer. Just being together and reading our books would be fun! To hear the noisy antics of my children, ruffle their hair, find a lesson in some or other disappointment, stuff I take for granted. I just miss being part of my family.
Home is where I belong. I have been so blessed that my entire life now revolves around home. Even sitting here so far away, I get to appreciate it so much more.
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