Falling Apart

My life over the last couple of days has seen me play the role of bumbling idiot in place of my usual graceful self.

Saturday started with a four kilometre run on the beach with Luke as part of his school fun run. He did well and came in seventh in the school, not bad for a grade two. I then ran two kilometres with Matt and came in sixteenth, absolutely brilliant for the tiny tot! Luke and I then went surfing until he was frozen. All well to his point!

Sunday was the day that I had been looking forward to slipping on my running shoes and hitting the road. Instead I spent some time on the half pipe with my youngest. I lost control at the top of the ramp on my last turn, twisted my ankle and dived hip and elbow first into the floor. It was not as funny as Matt thought it was! By now I am so used to twisting my ankle that it was in the pool seconds later and then tightly wrapped in a well used figure eight bandage. Sadly, the run was put on hold!

I hobbled around on Monday trying to practise my throws for my Judo grading that would take place in the evening. I was allowed to skip the exercise section of the session but then it was on to my grading. It went smoothly but in a little light practise fight I sprained one of my toes and wrenched my wrist. Hello, and I was taking it easy?

Tuesday night was the indoor hockey challenge; a parents team against the teachers. I love indoor hockey and could not turn this down. I bandaged my foot so tightly that there was practically no blood flow to my toes, but at least my ankle was safe. One game somehow morphed into four games on the trot. At which point I was the stain on a pool of sweat and barely able to move a muscle. I only picked up a minor injury which was a grazed knuckle and a bruised hand. Of course I could show no pain in front of the rest of the parents. You can be certain that if parents and teachers did not know me, they know me now!

Wednesday night was the toughest Judo session of my short new Judo career. I limped into the dojo and had my children drag me out afterwards. A mental note was made to always ensure short fingernails as I had managed to split most of them down the sides. I said a prayer of thanks for power steering. At home, I shooed the kids out of the car and then summoned a vast amount of mental strength to do the same. I slowly shuffled into the house in about the time that it took my kids to shower and go to bed, normally a process that takes hours! I grabbed a very unlucky Coke which was dispatched in record time. That provided me with sufficient energy to get to the shower. Showering was a painful exercise as by now my body parts had ceased. Cleaning the soles of my feet involved a special contortion that involved the wall and a lot of will, and I barely avoided taking the rest of my shower sitting on the floor. I thought that the hard part was over, but drying myself was next to impossible. Halfway through I accidentally dropped my towel on the floor, which was great as it solved the problem of how to dry my feet. I then spread my jocks on the floor and wiggled my feet into the holes. After bending for about 15 seconds I managed to get a hold of them and pull them up, impressing myself immensely with my innovative dressing techniques. At that point I decided I had put enough clothes on.

Today, I feel like a metal robot that somebody forgot to oil! I am tired, very damaged, and absolutely refuse to let anyone tell me that it is all because I am getting older!!

Lost 2

After giving my last post on ‘lost’ some lateral thought, I decided that I was not happy with it all. If you have not read it, read it and then come back to this post.

There is one other thing that I can do for my children. Ensure that they know and feel Gods love for them. With it, at least they can expect heaven when they die, and as a parent, I will know that this is where they will be. Without it, they are gone without a trace, and as a parent, I will be left with a tragic loss!

You may be thinking that you won’t be reading this blog again because I have brought up the God factor? The thing is, I would rather be an idiot and believe in God, and be wrong, than clever, not believe, and be wrong! This comment though, tries to reduce faith to a tenet of logic which obviously cannot be done, so please forgive me.

As a Christian, I believe that God gave up his son to die for me. There is no way I would ever be able to sacrifice my children for any reason, no matter how good. I am far too small a man for that. To think that God did exactly that for me; means that his love for me is humanly unfathomable. Truly, I want my children to experience that love.

So the things I can do for my children, regardless if they die young or old, is to give them a home filled with love and a life filled with God!

Lost

Cape Town has been experiencing rather adverse weather over the last two days; with winds of over 100km/hr being recorded, lightning, and even hail. Events practically unheard of down here! The wind blown swell in the sea has been merciless, and a number of fishermen have lost their lives.

Last night I was shocked by the sad news of a Judo friend. A tree was blown over on his farm, not a small tree, an ancient one that three good men would struggle to hug together! Sadly the tree fell onto a wall of a farm worker’s cottage and killed the five year old girl sleeping on the other side.

Heart wrenching!

I cannot help but think about losing one of my own children. I would be devastated. Actually, I have no idea how I would be, as I don’t suppose anyone who has not been through such an experience could begin to understand. It does of course bring home the fact that our children are loaned to us for just the shortest of times. With this in mind, should I be changing anything in the way that I live my life? Telling my children I love them more often, hugging them more often, listening to them, spending more quality time with them? Do I fill my home with love or am I more concerned about messy rooms being cleaned?

My heart cannot but go out to the poor parents who have just lost their child.

Lessons from the Pipe

It has been a while since I provided an update on my half pipe progress. The half pipe is in fine condition, having managing to outlast its first season of winter weather. The oldest kid has not managed to do as well!

My eight year old is able to drop in and do a magnificent top turn on the far side with front wheels and top half of the board completely above the rail. I really cannot wait to see him do that on a wave! After all, that is why we have this fine piece of apparatus in our garden.

I have found mastering the pipe a little more difficult. You see all of the ‘cool’ stuff like grinds on the rail, tap downs, lock ups, airs, all take place six foot above the ground at speeds of up to 40km/hour. It is most spectacular when you get it right, but get them wrong, and six feet is a long fall onto some rather unforgiving material.

I am ashamed to admit that I still cannot drop in, but I am working on it...

Yesterday the pipe beat me badly for the second time. I was on the last turn of my session when the wheels fell off. Well not literally! Somehow I managed to twist my ankle again, even while wearing an ankle guard, and land with my full weight on my hip at the bottom of the pipe.

My pain has forced me to look deep within and share some lessons from the pipe, which apply to both life and business:

1. Always remain 100% focussed, any loss of attention and you are on the floor. My brain wandered yesterday and I don’t even know how I fell.
2. Commit. Absolutely anything undertaken without full commitment is not worth doing and may not even be possible without everything you have. Wafting around on the pipe is an invitation for disaster.
3. Plan for failure but never entertain it. The thought entered my mind that I have a Judo grading tonight and I cannot afford to sprain my ankle. And I sprained my ankle!
4. Nothing brilliant comes without lots of effort and work. Don't stop trying, training, and reaching higher and further!

And if you are in the process of failing, make sure it is spectacular so that at least you and all those watching have something to talk about for weeks on end!

Joy

I was wondering about the relativity of joy.

Definitions from a couple of web dictionaries define joy as rejoicing as well as the emotion of great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.

If I had absolutely nothing; a free meal or a grotty jacket before winter would probably provide much joy. Both could be classified as exceptionally good or satisfying events. In my current situation, being forced to eat a meal from a soup kitchen or receiving a grotty jacket would be tough to handle. Interestingly enough, giving soup to a hungry person or giving away an old jacket would provide me with some measure of joy.

The question I have for myself is do I only rejoice in the big things like a new car, a baby’s birth, or an unexpected windfall? Have I become so jaded that I am unable to find joy in a smile or a kind word; the simple things of life that spring from loving hearts? Do I appreciate the dawn of each new day, the beauty that surrounds me, and the fact that I have been blessed with life for another day? And do I use each of those days to spread joy or bemoan the fact that I don’t have the things I really want?

Is it possible that whether I have nothing or own the world, the most valuable gift I can give is free and it comes from the heart? And it is in giving love and respect that I receive great joy and peace of mind?

Or is it better to work my butt off so I can go out and buy some cool stuff, knowing that it will soon break and become worthless. Then I can give it away and feel good that somebody else will get joy from it!

Just wondering...

Above and Beyond

Another first!

This weekend I went into the ceiling to turn down the geyser temperature. Being summer, dropping the temperature is a simple means of saving on electricity. This should have been a two minute job in the ceiling which instead became a major mission.

My oldest son has always pestered me to take him into the roof with me. This time I agreed, except that I put him to work up there with me. Together we cleaned the space between the roof and the ceiling. This is not a job I recommend for the faint hearted, nor a job that should really ever be necessary. For some reason the various workmen who have worked on our house have left a frightful mess in the rafters. Luke and I removed three large sacks of junk; including geyser valves, piping, wiring, wood, bricks, a massive birds nest, newspapers, and boxes.

It was hard, hot work but now another item that was never on my to do list has been checked off it.

And I am now most likely the first person you have ever heard of, that has cleaned above his ceiling!

The Belly on Film

Donna and I had heaps of fun the other night. We took pregnant belly photographs.

Donna trawled through the net and selected a couple of photographs that she really liked. Next we set up my alternative photographic studio and got busy recreating some really great pictures. Our sons were not the most willing of models, but we persevered and succeeded.


Our three children


My wonderful wife


My Family

We then tried to capture the sensual nature of pregnancy in a tasteful manner. Our bookkeeper almost blushed when she saw a large print of one of those pictures. Just kidding, she was seriously impressed. Unfortunatelythey cannot be found here...

No matter how hard you look!

More words

I have started to write again!

For so long my book has limped along. The days left over minutes used to distil the big idea. Last minute thoughts rushed into comprehension. Words pounded out before they flit away into nothingness. All tied together in a cacophony of noise.

I have been blessed with some time in between projects. Time to ponder. Time to revise my fourth book plan into my fifth. Time to carefully choose my thoughts, ideas, and words. To weave a story that pours forth love and hope. That asks uncomfortable questions. That challenges one to be more and do more.

The responsibility is big. The time has been given, but I must use it to produce this gift for others.

The new plan is different and bold, but for the first time since I started, I know I can deliver it!

Neighbours and Friends

What a weekend. A medley of social interaction with friends and neighbours that was staggering in its fun quotient!

It all started off with drinks at a neighbour’s house. Drinks quickly became an impromptu dinner which was lovely in that it was good time shared. I have to wonder how many people can walk down their street and be surrounded by friends.

Saturday involved a walk up a mountain as part of a church youth group meeting. Presumably I was there in order to oversee a bunch of impressionable youngsters and was greeted instead to a rather large family event. The youngsters had all brought their parents and siblings. It was a wonderful morning of shared joy in the beauty of nature and the exertion of a good hard walk. My five year old did me proud and managed to complete the three hour expedition on his own albeit at his pace!

Later that evening another neighbour dropped in to drop off some stuff she had borrowed. Soon the rest of her family had been invited and we all sat down to share dinner and some of that red liquid stuff, rather famous in the Cape. Again, I had to wonder about our neighbourhood, does this happen to anyone else?

Sunday saw an old work college over to lunch. What a joy to hear and see her confidence and happiness in life again. The spark of life within completely renewed! And then dinner saw some more old friends and their family arrive and another thoroughly entertaining meal shared.

My wife and I are inordinately blessed with amazing friendships. Sometimes it takes a bit of effort to rekindle the connections but all of that effort is infinitely rewarded within the warm glow of sharing time together!

Oh yes, and friendship goes very well with food!

Salt Water & Camels

The emergency board meeting was held in fine conditions this morning. Hardly a breath of wind, a little bit of swell, and just three board members at the right spot made all of the difference. No notes were taken, although a couple of pictures were snapped. All were happy that it was pictures and not boards being snapped!

I was a little concerned about my ability this morning, especially considering my blow out just over a day ago. I was incredibly tired in the water but that did not stop me getting my quota of waves. Uncharacteristically I was able to call it quits at the right time, even thought the ocean kept on dishing up delectable wave slides for our pleasure. Perhaps I am starting to mature?

Take a good look at 2 of our Directors hard at work in the boardroom.

Back in my street, Christmas has come early! Our house has been kindly decorated, and the three wise men are planning on riding their camels up and down all day. Yes, just another bizarre day over here as an advert is shot for an overseas cell phone company. Camel rides will be offered to the children in the street a little later and I have no doubt that the film crew will be surprised by the number of little critters that live here!

Another incredible day in Africa!!

Listen up

Last night I blew it again!

You would think that I know my body better than this. I have lived with it for all of my life and still it sneakily catches me out when I least suspect. Truthfully, I had a suspicion last night that not all was right, but used the override switch in my brain to keep on going.

I had a late night on Tuesday night, carousing with a visiting friend from Johannesburg. Then there was the issue of a lingering cold. Just a little cold, really the tail end of one! Added to that was a minimal intake of water for the day. I arrived at Judo last night with my boys and all of their stuff but sans top half of my judogi. Obviously my brain was way ahead of me by pretending to be behind! I took my time going home to collect it; including then taking a picture of a marvellous rainbow that graced the skies.

I had hoped to miss most of the exercise session but found the class still busy on my return. I hoped they were almost finished. Boy was I wrong. The exercise session seemed to be forever including some new and marvellous inventions which I may have enjoyed on other occasions. My body was saying nooooo, but the switch in my brain was firmly on.

Even Sensei asked me twice if I was OK. Eventually I had to admit defeat and leave the mat. My world was spinning, my stomach heaving, my head pounding, and my throat dry as a bone.

I had just pushed too hard and too far.

No fear, after a dismal night, I am fine and dandy now.

Just in time for some big waves in the morning. A friend up the road invited me to an EMERGENCY board meeting at 05h45. He suggested that I don’t make any notes. I can’t wait!

Love & Providence

Beware, this is deep!

I am struggling with a couple of concepts. The first is that when life is spent serving others with love, it is filled with an inner peace and joy that far surpasses that gained by any other means. Seems to be simple enough and surely everyone has experienced this at some or other point in their lives, but how on earth does one centre one’s life on this principle?

I have long been a student of business; thinking big and out of the box. Taking a concept and blowing away the world with it! How wonderful the financial rewards, the adulation, and heaps of respect from one’s peers! Yet if I am to centre my life on serving others, I would no longer be the hero but rather a support player. In fact, if I am to serve with love, the most important aspect of every interaction is the outpouring of my love for the other person. The rest is meaningless...

Another concept is based on Mother Theresa. MT founded and ran the Missionaries of Charity on the firm belief that God would provide. She went so far as to stipulate that none of her sisters would be involved in any form of fund raising. Incredible for an organisation that ran over 300 houses in 5 of the continents with more than 2400 women in the early 80’s, all focussed on loving the poorest of the poor. So how does one go about trusting God to look after one’s well being? How does one even begin to think like this when one must support a family?

I assume it is all possible; living a life of service, an outpouring of love, under God’s providence. But taking that first step...

Memories

While in Johannesburg, we descended on my wife’s parents. A suggestion was made that we eat in the restaurant on site in the complex where they stay. Rude son in law that I am, I proposed an alternative, ‘how about we eat at your place’. I thought that my proposal was rather attractive, especially seeing as my mother in law is a great cook. To sweeten the deal, I offered to clean up afterwards. This was probably the clincher!

Our arrival at their place was conjoined with inspiration. For all the years that I can remember, my father in law has been talking about the thousands of brilliant slides packed away in special wooden boxes in his garage. Somehow I badgered him into finding the slides and dusting off the old slide projector. After about 30 minutes of intellectualism, we finally figured out how to get the slide cartridge into the projector. Actually not we, I was clueless, having never worked a slide projector in my life. With much trepidation, the switch was flicked and the projector beamed out a brilliant white light, just as it was supposed to do.

We spent the better part of the day well down memory lane, immersed in family history. A wonderful insight into my wife’s family!

Recently one of my neighbours had requested some help with the scanning and retouching of old black and white photographs. That exercise probably precipitated my own thought on the wealth of photographic material within the family. Now armed with a large suitcase full of these slides, a rather challenging project awaits my attention. Hopefully I have not bitten off more than I can chew, but surely the right time to deal with memories of the past is while everyone is still able to enjoy them, instead of eventually leaving behind a bunch of useless and unappreciated treasures.

And the Steak and Guinness pie was nothing short of exquisite. As is the norm!

Good Boys

My children have been wonderful on this trip. First to Johannesburg and then for a little beach holiday. It is after all school holidays!

I was a little unsure that I needed a holiday now. My life is filled with the stuff that I want in it. Plenty of family time, working at home will do that for you. I have a number of charitable outlets that I support. Physically, I am probably fitter than ever due to all of my surfing, running, and Judo. And I get to exercise my brain through work and attempts at book writing. No, I do not need a holiday at all, life is good and fun!

But it would be selfish to think that just because I don’t need to relax, the rest of the family don’t have the same need either. And so we find ourselves in a little resort at the sea, indulging ourselves in wanton time wasting activities; like reading, swimming and simply sharing the same space. All without the pressures of time! Which is of course what a holiday is all about, the freedom from time, is it not?

I am thoroughly enjoying myself and feel most relaxed. Perhaps I did need some of this time! Our family is in a good space; happy, loving, and together! Our boys have been as well behaved as boys can be expected to be. Funny How I now know that the boys I have been blessed with are absolutely perfect for me. No other sons would have been right.

Of course, the illusion of family bliss is about to be shattered in a most rude manner as Miss Muffet makes her appearance in just less than 7 weeks. Life will suddenly revolve around screaming, nappies, and breasts.

Hidden somewhere herein, there is a challenge to my family; can we survive this tremendous change and find our way back to bliss again?

Time spent reflecting on my life and reading a special book on Mother Theresa have left me more than a little challenged to do far more. Stick with me as I try and find my way!