I was told the other day that I am a bit of a perfectionist. My first and immediate response was that the other person was clueless. I mean take a look at this blog, there is a line that goes down the middle of it that just should not be there – surely a perfectionist would never tolerate that?
Then I did something strange, I let that possibility exist within myself. I discovered that I have perfectionist expectations of myself. In other words I expect myself to be perfect. The resulting mental chaos is obvious as I finding myself falling short of my expectations daily.
Having allowed this rogue thought in, all sorts of things have started to happen to me. I can now see situations where I do expect perfection and others where I have learnt to let things ride. I also see times when I want to impose my will in order to get my outcome, my perfect outcome.
I cannot tell you how earth shattering this insight of myself has been, although it must rank up there with the discovery of scrambled eggs and mayonnaise. It is said that surrounding yourself with people who are able to hold up the mirror to you is invaluable. My brief glimpse of myself will hopefully relieve most of my inner turmoil as I try and focus on doing a couple of things well instead of many things poorly!
It seems Christmas has been full of gifts; family, love, and a priceless new understanding of myself.
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