There is a war going on in my head. The different factions are all doing what they can to gain the upper hand. The fighting is intense and seems to be heating up, big time.

One side is pretty devious, they are all for materialism and wealth. They want me to go out there and get more and more and more. Just today I saw a house on the beach that looked awesome. I got the number and called. The house was tiny, a wooden beach hut, just up from the beach. The asking price was a paltry R3.2 million. Funny enough, this warring faction got into gear and started scheming ways to produce a little less than the asking price. With thoughts of being next to the beach, walking to a surf break and sleeping to the sound of crashing waves, these soldiers seemed to be getting the upper hand.

Another of the factions is in a little disarray. This faction is all for improvement of society and the upliftment of the poor. They really want me to devote my life to the ideal of working for the common good. Sure they have made a little headway in a couple of areas. But the headway seems to be starts and follow through has been lacking to date. I started my blog to rant about society and have ended up with a blog that seems to be a place of semi motivation and some schizophrenic mental ramblings. I suppose that is what a blog is all about, letting you into a window of my world, mad or not! On the book front, things have ground to a complete halt, as my intense inspiration vanished into thin air. That’s actually not true, after the inspiration dried up I continued to write some wonderful drivel. I will have to deal with that soon and throw it all away... There have been a couple of good wins, but this side needs to put in some intense effort in order to come out on top.

And then there is this splinter group. They are pretty laid back and relaxed. Relax, take it easy is their slogan and I seem to keep hearing it on the radio too. These dudes are keen to surf and surf and then take it easy some and then do some more surfing. They are quite keen to sleep in late, read lots of fiction and just enjoy the good life. The irony is that these guys are doing pretty badly in the war. I have all of this time yet have spent less of it reading, surfing and in reflection that when I had a full time job. The guys are still pretty convincing and I have to say that the good life is certainly rather appealing but it would seem that I intend to err on the side of activity. I have no doubt that if they win, they will come short with the last of the cash that I can scrape together. They can’t last too long.

The ultra conservatives are also part of the battle. They seem to be ruling the roost at the moment. They are convinced that if I slack off for a minute the world will fall to pieces. They are quite a rough and demanding bunch of comrades. I do think that I would rather be friendly with them than against them. These guys want to maintain my current lifestyle, whatever that may be. They want to do what they can but they seem to be a bit slow in their thinking. They have not yet managed to find a way. They are searching for business opportunities and trying to understand what it is that I should be doing with my life. To date, no news on that front. Instead they believe in action, action and more action. Sleeping on the job and relaxation is not acceptable and should be followed up with more activity in order to ensure that all lost time is made up. I hope that they will consolidate their activities soon as I am tired of continuous action. This idea of being a pilgrim in ones own life sounds like an ideal romantic notion but in reality it is tiring as there is no focussed direction.

Backwards and forwards, volleys of shots, lots of wasted ammunition. Missiles, rockets and subversive tactics. Charges and rebuffs, broken defences breached and on it goes.

I don’t need a beach house. Somehow I have to find a way to support my family and work for the common good of all. Within me, I know that this is the answer. I suppose it is the how that has caused my mental battle. This is my own conundrum that I need to solve, as many before me have solved in their own lives. I also know that I have to take it one day at a time and that my path will slowly become clear to me.

Pity that I want to know now!

There is a story of pumping arms, thousands of pounding hearts and pouring sweat that needs to be told!

My very own One Ocean! The race that has consumed so much of my mental energy and a little of my blog space. I must confess the 21km is really the Once Ocean as one does not get to do both of them on the race. I have always understood that the Two Oceans is one of the more difficult runs out there and I certainly was not disappointed. I have great respect though for all those runners that manage the 56km as that is a long hard haul regardless of whether it happens along two oceans or not.

My first Two Oceans was awesome. I took my hard learnt lessons about smiling and complimenting myself to heart and told myself many, many lies that made me smile. Crowd support was incredible and as a runner, something really appreciated. It seems having these people cheering for me and calling me by name, as it was included on my race number, added an extra couple of springs in my step. I also found that by interacting with the crowd, they got all fired up and we were both able to feed off each other. I was not going to let all of these complete strangers down!

Strangely enough there were also very monosyllabic conversations with other runners that were absolutely awesome. I may have misinterpreted some of their grunts though.... I had a conversation at the end of the race with a runner that I had been following for some time. It was really great as I was tired and needed the mental diversion. If it was not for her, I would not have run the time that I did. In fact, the women runners were incredible and impressed me immensely. I was just trying to keep up with them!!

I tell you all of this as this was the best run of my life. Strange but true as I have not been able to train for it all. I managed to run the 21km in well under an hour and forty five minutes. I look forward to meeting one of my five year goals which is to run two 21km runs in less than a hundred minutes. Bring on the Knysna 21!

And now that you all know about this goal of mine, there is no way that I can let you all down!

I have well managed to coincide the dearth of my own writing with school holidays. This would not be as important if I did not have any children, but I do. The last couple of days have been spent swimming in their holiday lives. We have done so many things and it has been wonderful.

Being a bit of a book worm in my past, I have often read of people (fictional and non fictional) quoting their dads and moms. These people seem to have passed on real wisdom to their children which they have kept and applied to their lives, and then passed on to their kids and so on. I have often wondered how I would ever do the same as I would like my children to have the benefit of some of my own learned wisdom.

I have come to realise that the only way this happens is for one to be immersed in their lives. Then opportunities for this passing on of wisdom (can I call anything I spout be called wisdom?) abound. There can be no doubt that children are these proverbial sponges and they sure soak this stuff up. I have found it immensely rewarding to see some of my teaching in action. ‘Look daddy, that guy is swimming the wrong way in that current’ and ‘dad, you can let my brother do it as he has not had a turn’.

Ahhh, and then for the rest of the time there are some serious battles to resolve!

I have strayed from my writing path. I have followed other paths, other ways. I have failed to blog as a good blogger should!

There has been some theory to my lack of writing. After writing a whole heap of good chapters, I moved onto some of the more serious aspects of my book. Reading this serious stuff again, I discovered that I was writing drivel. No, it was worse than that, it was slimy, boring and nonsensical muck! I had lost my groove, my exultation, my plot. I was unsure if I had any plot to begin with.

And so I have taken a complete break from writing with the hope that this is all I need to start again refreshed, energised and with a serious plan in mind. I am sort of back! I have decided to dabble a bit with some blogging, the proverbial dipping my big toe into the waters of wordiness.

It seems to be working. I have some more ideas and styles that I would like to play with and a certainty as to the message that I want to communicate. At long last I am getting the idea that this book is the purging of my soul and that this is a book for me. If you like it too, that would just be a bonus!

My son shocked me this evening. I turned on the computer to get busy on this piece and he asks me if it has Microsoft Paint. I was a little surprised and so opened the program and let him get on with his stuff. In a couple of minutes he had drawn the following:


Just so you understand, he is six! His grannies would be proud....

In a whole different direction....

I have always been the ‘well planned’ kind of guy. My life was so full that I did not like things to change my plans. In fact those little things were irritations to be avoided by even better planning. Hmmm, I was possibly a little boring. These days, I have to say that I am just as busy but the real joy is that all of my busyness is driven by stacks of opportunities that arise on a daily basis. All opportunities that involve food and surfing go immediately to the top of the list, closely followed by photographic shoots. A combination of all of these is a jackpot!

I have discovered spontaneity! Something that I possibly frowned upon in the past, is now something that moves my world. Life does happen now and there is so much to learn right now. There is also so much to give back right now and so much joy to give and to share.

Just this last weekend, my wife and I decided to change our Easter plans in minutes. We ended overnighting with family a mere two hours drive away. And what a wonderful family Easter Sunday we had. And we almost missed out because it was such a mission....

I have resolved to take everything as an opportunity, to relish their difficulties and rejoice in their possibilitities!

Yesterday was a tough day.

Long ago, perhaps in another lifetime, I was warned about two critical losses when giving up work. The first loss is contact with other people. This has actually been a gift, I have gained contact especially with family and friends. The second issue is the loss of purpose. As a thoroughly focussed chap, I knew that this would never be a problem.

That loss of purpose hit me hard yesterday....

Just two days ago, I blogged that I was in a place that I would never have dreamed about. I also blogged that this was an incredible place to be. Both these things are still true.

I was not prepared for yesterday though....

Do you remember ever moping around the house as a kid saying, ‘I’m bored’. Perhaps you have children that do this and it thoroughly exasperates you. It certainly bothers me although I clearly remember that feeling of just not feeling like doing anything. There just seems to be no point. I would walk round and round the house just looking at stuff and thinking, nope, I don’t want to do that, or that, or that. Round and round achieving absolutely nothing.

That was my day yesterday. Lately my writing has been so uninspiring that I have put it aside, so I could not write. My ‘to do’ list has all been but crossed off, so there were no tasks to do. There was no surf to surf. My children were at school or with mates. So I sat in front of my laptop and refreshed my mail, hoping that somebody had sent me something to do, again, and again. I even spent time staring my laptop into sleep mode and got pretty good at this! I wrapped it all up by falling asleep in the middle of the day on my son’s bed.

For the first time since I was a child I had nothing to do. It was a horrible realisation. For so many years, I may have been bored in my work, but at least I was busy and knew that I was supporting my family. Yesterday, I did not even have that! Yesterday I was a burden to them.

The other thing about yesterday is that I did not see it coming and when it came, I did not recognise it. Later in the afternoon, through a fog of self doubt, I saw this self pity for what it was and decided not to do something about it. I closed my laptop and resisted the urge to throw it out of the window. I then put my mind to sleep by aimlessly pottering around the garage and the garden. Some mindless TV sealed the deal.

I have realised that in the past my weeks used to be jam packed with activities. I did not have to think, I just had to execute my diary and turn up when and where it indicated. Now, I need to carefully plan my life and fill it with well chosen activities. If I stay at home, I need to think about what I want to do and what I want to achieve, and then go and do just that.

This morning I woke up and went for a slow and enjoyable run along a new route so that I would not obsess about my time. I then checked out the Two Oceans route, as that will keep me occupied on Saturday morning. From there I spent some time in reflection and on this here blog. I now have a bit of charity work to do this morning followed by a trip to Cape Town to register for Saturday. I feel far better having identified the cause for my low and hopefully will prevent it from visiting me again.

Have you ever wondered what it must be like to sit in a chair in an old age home watching but not seeing the TV all day, every day? Waiting to die?

This morning while pounding the tar back into shape, surfing was very far from my mind. That is unusual as I often find myself day dreaming about these perfect waves and my perfect form as I carve them into bits. The joy about day dreams is that they are perfectly acceptable no matter how far from reality they may be. Nope, instead I focussed on smiling and complimenting my breathing like any good person would do. “That was a great breath, take another one, and another one”.....

It was just after a welcome shower that I received a text from a friend of mine, inquiring if I was as keen as him to indulge in surfing some real waves. And so I found myself in the sea surfing little waves on a nine foot long board having a glorious time. I have never had the opportunity to surf this kind of board before and this was a fantastic and fun learning experience. The real joy was there were just a handful of guys and a girl in a very calm sea simply enjoying life. And it was that simple.

The question that I get asked a lot these days is “how is the surfing?” I find it difficult to answer as I have spent so much of this wonderful time of mine on so many other activities that I have always wanted to do. I have actually not surfed very much at all. Perhaps I just write about it now with more passion.

This morning, this handful of strangers were all in the water rooting for each other. Something that does not happen too often. I certainly walked away feeling revived in body and spirit. I also walked away with a little gift, an appreciation for how blessed and privileged I am.

It is strange to think that after a lifetime spent focussed on work, I am now a pilgrim in that same life. Every day I try and take all of the opportunities that present themselves. I have some serious long term goals that guide my choices but I still have this surreal feeling of being led somewhere. I am already in a place I could never have daydreamed about. I think it has come about through being open to opportunity, having a better understanding of myself and feeling life for the first time. It is not my daydream of perfectly carved waves but something so much better. It is a place filled with love and joy and life.

Deep within me somewhere, it is all right!

I am enthralled and exuberated! Neurons in my brain are firing at unprecedented speeds. Thoughts coalescing, growing and then diverging again. Many of them! Synapses are firing with force and energy. There is a new idea in the old grey matter and it is causing mayhem. This idea feels right and worthy and even worth while. Perhaps I am at the start of something wonderful and beautiful. Something that will grow into a reason for my being. Perhaps this idea is worthless and will fizzle and die in time. There is risk but there is possibly huge reward. A reward so big that I am wondering if I am the right person to try and grasp it. I know I should be, must be, but am I?

Last year, a friend and I took our two boys on a boy’s weekend. The idea was to spend good time with our sons on their own. Added to that we wanted them to experience something completely alien to their way of life, to their experience, and to their accumulated base of knowledge. We were going to have fun! We camped in Augrabies Falls, we saw the Sishen Iron Ore Mine, and toured the Kimberley Big Hole. I loved watching my sons face light up and his eyes grow big as he saw and experienced stuff that blew his mind. The time we spent together was precious beyond measure.

This morning saw me on the road doing a short run (Two Oceans is soon). I then dropped the kids off at school and joined a mate for breakfast. Waffles and ice cream, mmmmmm. More exciting than the syrup high, far more fascinating than the news or weather was the idea!

I have long been concerned about the moral fibre of society. My kind of role model seems to be non existent although role models of all varietals are everywhere. I do not want to abandon the upbringing of my children to their school teachers and their friends and their parents. I do want to do all that I can do to assist my sons to grow into decent, loving and good human beings. I want to try and build a relationship with my sons that will help them through their difficult teenage years. I also want to provide them with a network of local role models that they can go to when in need and learn from at any other time. Until today, I had no idea how to get this right. Truly speaking, I still don’t, but there is an idea!

My friend suggested that we create a group of like minded dads and their sons. The mental, spiritual and emotional well being of our children must be one of our highest priorities. We then invest time and energy into creating experiences for our children that revolve around specific issues that they are experiencing or specific values that we would like them to attain. We would include some new rituals / traditions to make this an exclusive and special experience, something that they will look back on and remember with pride and joy. We will hike, we will camp, we will play games and we will solve some cleverly crafted puzzles all directed at building special father / son relationships and instilling deep values into their little spirits.

This is going to take a lot of effort and time, but the outcome is so important, it is worth the investment of my life. My description does not explain exactly what we are going to do, that will all evolve with time. Nonetheless it is all about quality father and son time in a world that is madly busy. It is about sharing the real joy of life with our children.

The idea is just an idea. Either way the investment will mature in a couple of years and the return will be priceless.....

I recently read that Mother Theresa was a disillusioned old woman working to further her own self interest to instil her agenda on a place that scarcely needed it. You can imagine my shock at seeing this article on the net. Here was one of the heros of our time being slated for the role that she played in our world.

I thought she was an amazing force for good with her simple premise of helping the dying die with dignity. I also thought that everyone looked at her with the same kind of admiration and respect as I did as being one of the living role models of peace and charity in action.

The article was vehement and scathing, which is something that she probably would have enjoyed, i.e. being persecuted for her faith in God. It drove home the point that there are always other opinions and views in this world. No matter what path you choose, you are always going to find people who disagree and are totally opposed to your actions. Does this make your course wrong? I don’t think so if it is well considered and in line with your set of values. More than that it is important to do the stuff that feels inherently right!

So if you pick up dissenters along the way, consider their opinion. If it is twaddle, shrug it off, and if not, use it to improve your own course. Keep in mind that it is through deep consideration of other people's alternative opinions that we are able to hold up the mirror to ourselves and elminate our own blind spots. This has to make us better people or more determined in our course of action!

And as for Mother Theresa, in my world, she still rocks!

CHARITY

I have been thinking about charity today. I am blessed to have all of this time (what time?) on my hands and I feel a need for me to give something back. You would think that if you wanted to donate your time and effort to a good cause that it would be a simple thing. Our country is filled with need. I have no doubt that you too see the need out there every day. Yet I have found it immensely difficult to find a local cause that I can support. I got to thinking about how I select a cause that really resonates with me? I think it starts with passion, but I am sure it needs to be more than that. And like the good list maker that I am, I made a short list of my quality requirements:

1. Project must resonate with me. My soul needs to overflow with compassion for the cause and I must be moved to do something about it.
2. Project needs to be close to where I live.
3. The need must be legitimate.
4. I would like to empower people rather than provide handouts.

I have long believed that there needs to be some sort of organisation that works toward matching up potential donors with legitimate needs that exist. This will allow donors to select projects according to their own quality requirements. It will also provide a voice for those who have no voice or visibility to be heard and seen. I saw a website like this in the UK. It is called The BIG Give (http://www.thebiggive.org.uk/). There is something similar in SA called Charity SA (http://www.charitysa.co.za/western-cape.html) which lists all of the charities in the country and what they require. The problem with all of these lists is that they deal mostly with the big stuff. I have been looking for smaller local projects and that seems to be a far more difficult thing to do.

Searching the net has revealed some seriously interesting charities. There are web sites like JDI (Just Do It – http://www.jdi.org.za/). This is a pretty cool organisation. The idea is that this is a place where people who want to make a difference can get together. You and your mates can create a group or join a group that will invest some time and resources into a project or organisation. I really like the idea of contributing a fixed amount every month together with a group of your friends and then getting together and spending that money on a cause close to your hearts.

There is an organisation that seems to have some novel fundraising activities on the go – check out the Starfish Greathearts Foundation (http://www.starfishcharity.org/home.aspx?id_content=1). Their suggestions include dinners that you host (they supply some hosting packs) for you and your friends. Another idea is the sponsorship of your participation in sporting events (again you get a pack). You know how your children come home with those dreaded forms for some or other epic two kilometre walk, well now you can continue that tradition as an adult and get sponsored by all of your mates. Hopefully by now, you can run all two of those kilometres without stopping!

There are others that stand out, like Reach for a Dream (https://www.givengain.com/cgi-bin/giga.cgi?cmd=cause_dir_cause&cause_id=1305). That really appeals to me as it satisfies a hunger of the human spirit rather than a hunger that will be back tomorrow. Francois Pienaar’s MAD (Make a Difference Foundation - http://www.themadbunch.com/home/index.php) also seems to be doing good work although there are only 24 members and I am not sure that I would fit into such upper class company!!

Numerous international charity organisations are doing work in South Africa. This amazes me on many levels. I live here and am embarrassed that I can be so apathetic that somebody thousands of kilometres away must fight to make a difference.

I saw a great quote on one of the web sites:

'I believe that this could very well be looked on as a sin of our generation. I look at my parents and ask, where were they during the civil rights movement? I look at my grandparents and ask, what were they doing when the holocaust in Europe was occurring with regard to the Jews, and why didn't they speak up? And when we think of our great, great grandparents, we think how could they have sat by and allowed slavery to exist? And I believe that our children and their children, 40 to 50 years from now, are going to ask me, what did you do while 40 million children became orphans in Africa?'

Rich Sterns, President of World Vision (US)

Hmmmm – and these people live on my doorstep! Did you know that in July 2006 there were 27,000 orphans in the Western Cape alone. By 2010 this number is supposed to have increased to greater than 51,000. We know that there are problems and it seems so hard to do something about it. Not everyone can go and feed a motherless child or do homework with a struggling teen. And yet who will if we won’t?

There really are some wonderful stories out there. I exchanged some mails with a lady who runs an organisation called CASE – community action toward a safer environment. Doesn’t sound like much but here is this woman in the heart of the worst gang areas in Cape Town working diligently with the youth to try and make a difference. A couple of months ago, she had her entire organisations office contents stolen. And still she is out there trying to get some more stuff donated and focussed on breaking this cycle of violence. Respect!

A lot of these websites include their own inspiration. Many of them talk about a couple of mates chatting over coffee and coming up with these grand ideas that have just grown into these wonderful ventures. Starfish started out that way and now supports just less than 35,000 children, from none a mere six years ago. The need is so huge and people have found innovative ways to start to make a difference. Start small and see what happens! In fact I am a little disappointed in myself. What on earth have I been doing while all of these children have been starving and homeless. Oh yes, I remember now, thinking about myself!

Making a difference is hard, but I suppose it is harder to fight for a piece of bread every single day of your life!

I had some grand illusions of running an awesome time in my first Two Oceans Half marathon in two weeks time. Just six weeks ago, I had a training plan from an expert and I was ready to run my heart out. And so I did for a short while and even blogged about shattering my person best time over six kilometres. Perhaps I should not have done so, as it has all been a slippery downward spiral since then. A cold has been one of the main meddlesome culprits. I tried a number of remedies, bar going to the doctor. Drugs, positive mental reinforcement, exercise, more drugs, more positive thoughts, more exercise, oh and eventually some rest! It seems that you cannot exercise all colds away! It finally seems to be going although it has been lingering a little. And so with a mere two weeks till race day, I set out yesterday for my second run back on my new shortened two week training plan.

The sun has gotten lazy lately and gets out of it’s bed pretty late these mornings. I got dressed inside my house in the semi dark at about six o’ clock, patting my almost brand new shoes as I put them on. These are the babies that have to get me through this race. I creep about the house trying not to make a noise because for once the whole family is still sleeping, a miracle in itself! I let myself out of the garage door and make a mental note to wake up, as I almost get hit on the head as it closes. I half heartedly perform some vague stretching motions and then I am off, trotting down the block as a kind of warm up, just like a pro, just a lot slower! I turn and run back the way I have come, pushing the lap timer on my watch as I pass my house again. My legs feel wooden and they make hard work of the first hill. Thank goodness there is a woman running up the same hill just ahead of me. This is a challenge even my legs cannot turn down. I turn victoriously and greet her as I fly past, realising that my superior speed is due to the 40 year age gap. My ego deflates and my legs need to work far harder to keep up the illusion that this is my lazy day pace. My lungs start to provide my mind with some unwelcome feedback; the ship is going down – get back to base! My mind wisely deletes that message in the best interests of, ah, well, who knows. My 500 metre marker looms ahead, do I actually feel this bad and I have run only this far? I need to get a grip. My chest feels like it is trapped in a steel band. I am not getting enough air and my legs have slowed again. There is no way that this episode is going to have a great ending and so I start to prepare a mental list; why I hate running. With pain searing through my leg muscles, lungs about to seize and sweat dripping from every pore I start considering giving up running for ever.
I was not one hundred percent sure but I think it was a thought that entered my brain. It must have taken some time as my mind was pretty busy with that list. Have I not preached to my sons on numerous occasions about attitude and life, and here I am letting life beat me. Somehow another thought snuck in and deleted my mental list. And another thought added that there is a theory that smiling is considered to be a great way to delude your body into thinking you are happy and full of energy. I am sure that it has something or other to do with enzymes secreted into the blood. Stupidly I plaster this silly grin on my face, glad that there are no more aging runners in sight. And then I run and run. I sort of smiled myself along. It was not the kind of easy running that I had been doing just two weeks ago, but my body was moving forward. So good was my smile that I forgot to turn for home and my seven kilometre run turned into nine kilometres. I returned home with plenty of new resolve, and boot loads of sweat!

I had a similar experience in the sea this morning. I packed both my surf kit and my running shoes. I had decided to exercise this morning one way or another! The wave report predicted large swell in the bay and so I was looking forward to surfing. I rounded the last corner and the beach came into view. I was devastated to see tiny little waves flopping onto the sand. I thought that if I looked for long enough, they would grow bigger, but my eyes just got sore. I slowly turned around and made for my car, it seemed I would be running. On the way, my mental flip flop switch kicked in and I decided tiny or tinier still, I was surfing it. And I surfed it good and proper just like a hack! I found that once again my attitude had deserted me.

Sure I had the wrong board and the waves were small, this was just part of the challenge. I thought about smiling, but this was not a great option unless I was keen to consume a fair quantity of the salty stuff. I opted for another approach, talking to myself! Yes, insane things, it would seem, come naturally to me! I started by complementing the things that I got right; nice jump up dude, good wave selection, awesome bottom turn bro. All of a sudden I stopped getting strange looks from the surfers around me as I started to have fun in the waves and no longer needed the sublime commentary on my performance. All that negative energy was gone and once again my bad attitude was beaten.

As I write this, I am consolidating these learning’s for myself. I did not even connect these two events until I picked up my fingers and dropped them on this here fine keyboard. In the past, I have wondered about the fine advice that I dish out to my sons. Is it really possible just to turn your attitude on and off, because I say it’s the best way. In two days I have learnt that it is possible and I have some strategies that can help them and I to do it. These strategies are going to come in pretty handy in my race and I have the added bonus that I have experienced them working for me.

I am just going to have to work out how to complement my running. Just imagine; nice stride left leg, fantastic motion arms – keep them swinging, brilliant smile dude! It should keep plenty of other runners seriously amused!

I cannot believe that it is already the 4th of March today. Time certainly has just flown AGAIN this year. More than anything, I am surprised as I have spent all of this time at home. I have obviously been industriously working away at my ME degree. I don’t seem to have accomplished much that I can measure at all and yet I am far less stressed, in fact probably as stressed as I ever was at university (i.e not much at all). I also have a bank of knowledge in areas that I have always dreamt about. I am fitter than I have been in years and I am starting to surf a little better. But more importantly, I am starting to rediscover my wife and my children and this is the most amazing gift!.

Last week I had a typical old me experience. An old friend of mine from Johannesburg phoned me up at 19h00 on Wednesday evening. He said he was in Cape Town and did I not want to join him for dinner. My immediate response was no thanks bud, and then included any of these excuses, too tired, long drive tomorrow, already made dinner, already eaten more than two average men, the wife excuse, yada, yada, yada. I put the phone down and gave it some thought. Here was a good friend of mine in town whom I had not seen in ages and I was making every excuse under the sun as I did not feel like driving 45 minutes to Cape Town. After chatting to my wife I realised that I do not actually have a job and yet I am behaving like a stressed old man. And so it was that I found myself in my car driving to Cape Town with the Pet Shop Boys beat reverberating through my brain.

I had dinner again in a wonderful little Thai place that I had never seen before. I had a jungle curry (or something like that) and it was rather warm. So warm that I had to go and blow my nose three times during dinner. It was infernal and phenomenal. I also had desert, ice cream, mainly to cool down the molten lump of lava that was my tongue. The evening was a wonderful meeting of minds and deep soulful discussion. It was awesome and I got home just past late o clock.

I almost missed the whole experience though. I wondered how many incredible experiences I have missed as a result of my tiredness or some other silly excuse. Is it possible that there is a whole other life out there if I just made different choices every day? Obviously not all experiences are going to be as insightful and uplifting as this one but surely a number of bad ones are worth the possibility of an awesome one. The disappointing thing is that one of my motto’s for this year is to put myself out there at every opportunity, and already in February I have been found wanting!

Time for me to get out there and do life!