Tonight is the end of the year as we know it. It is really fitting that I have been able to complete my business plan for my life this morning AND have it approved by management here at home. Lucky for me, my wife found the plan to be quite acceptable! I suppose that the planning is the easy part of the deal, the hard part is to ensure that all is implemented. Perhaps I should not refer to it as the hard part, surely this is going to be the fun and interesting part. The part that is going to keep me on my toes and thinking hard. It is certainly the part that is going to teach me a number of hard lessons. I really am looking forward to it all. I hope that one day when I look back on my life (God willing), I will be able to say that I gave it my best shot!

The new life plan is a very interesting document. I have been able to plan my entire life in the way that I want it to happen. Obviously I have factored in a couple of things that cannot change (like where we want the kids to go to school, etc.). Apart from this, the rest is the way I want it to be. I can’t help thinking again how blessed I am to be able to make those kinds of decisions with the very real possibility that it may all turn out better than I expect.

One of the aspects that I am going to have to deal with, is that the job of a self employed businessman (and I use this term loosely as I have not brought in a cent yet) has no boundaries. There are NO limits except for the limits that I impose of my self. I have always been, to use a clichéd term, a “go getter”. I now need to find some sort of feedback mechanism that will tell me when enough is enough. In my old job, that was easy, I had agreed my deliverables with my boss and worked towards them. Now, I am that boss that agrees those deliverables and the employee who needs to attain them. Chances are that I am going to push far too hard. I think more than ever I am going to rely on my friends and family as that feedback mechanism. Certainly my wife is going to continue being the core of my support and let me know when enough is enough. On the other hand, I have no doubt that she will let me know if I am lazing around!!

Whatever happens in this new year, it is going to be a phenomenal learning experience for me. I relish the challenge and look forward to some new and fantastic experiences. I wish you and your family much success, love and laughter in the year ahead!

I had a great Christmas filled with family. It really was wonderful. Even better was that I was fully engaged in it this year, instead of trying my best to relax. Life has almost returned to normal after most of my family have returned home. Yesterday my wife and I thought we would spend a bit of time getting the kids rooms back in order. Well 8 hours later we had almost completed cleaning out every cupboard, drawer, nook and cranny in our entire house. I am amazed (as I suppose we all are on a regular basis) at how much stuff we had to throw away as well as how much stuff we have to donate. Where on earth has it all come from? We must be a marketers dream audience!

I certainly felt bad when I saw how spoilt my children got this Christmas. I have always thought that my children have too many toys and so this clean up became an opportunity for them to get involved in deciding what toys should be donated to a worthy cause. I hope to get them involved in handing out their toys to other children so that they can experience the reward of giving instead of always just receiving. I hope that this will be an interesting lesson in charity for them.

Truth be told, it was not just the kids who have too much stuff but us too. I don’t like the idea of keeping stuff in case something or other happens in the future. What tends to occur is that my stuff takes up space and gathers dust. When I do want to use it, it is generally out of date and useless and I have to go out and get another. I have decided that I am far happier giving stuff away to somebody who needs it now. I certainly found a whole heap of things that would do better in other people’s hands. I must say that I found it a rather liberating experience – who needs so much stuff anyway?

Another thing that this Christmas filled with family has taught me is that things cannot be done my way all the time. I am finding that I learn more and more by not doing things my way. I know what will happen if I do it my way! I suppose that this is one of the joys of life, doing and seeing things from another’s points of view. Is it not sad, that for the most part, we refuse to accept that there can be another viewpoint? Take the assassination of Benazir Bhutto yesterday….will we ever learn? Have we failed to be the best humans we can be? Can we make a difference in our own lives? If we do make a tiny difference, is it good enough?

I found last week incredibly difficult. I was busy beyond belief and yet I achieved very little in my life. I am not sure if I did not realise the extent of things that just needed to be done. I certainly didn’t manage to rest and relax or to make any progress in my preparation for next year. I have this notion in my head that I have to be 100% ready to start my new life on January 2. Right now, I am thinking that this is an idea that I may have to change. I need to start this whole new life when I am ready. By ready, I mean physically, mentally and emotionally. This point was driven home on the physical side when I went out surfing on Thursday and Friday. What a wonderful feeling to be at one with nature, expressing myself in a sport that I thoroughly enjoy! For me, that was the start of my holiday. I have this whole new life ahead of me, it is pointless to rush in when tired and unprepared. This is my Christmas present to myself. To Dad, “take a real break”, from dad!

On the good side, I have managed to erect Santa’s butt and our Christmas lights around the house. If you are wondering, Santa gets stuck down our chimney every year and so all that one sees in passing are Santa’s chubby buns and legs sticking out of our chimney. This morning I have managed to ice the Christmas cake and cook a gammon. I can well assure you that the sumptuous smells pouring out of my Weber are heavenly!

I find the fact that I have not managed to take charge of my life yet rather disappointing. As I sit here and type, I have realised that I am still the luckiest guy around. I am surrounded by loving family, amazing food in my kitchen and a solid roof over my head. Some may never have any of these wonderful gifts and yet they are still filled with joy in this season. I consider myself fully berated!

How often do we get wrapped up in our own petty little worlds filled with petty little issues? Is it not time that we thought and did something about other people’s worlds of real issues?

I wish you a blessed Christmas, may it be filled with charity, love and family!

My administrator in my old job, a previous life I dimly remember, gave me a book before I left. The book is titled “Get your book published in 30 relatively easy steps” by Basil van Rooyen.The book is a wonderful step by step guide on how to get moving (book wise that is). Happily, I have been through a number of the steps. One thing that the book has confirmed is that publishing this book is not going to make me any money. Very simply, the book readership within SA is tiny and chances of my book being published overseas are slim.

What the book has done for me is confirmed that I am writing this book as a labour of love. I am writing it because I think that I have a story to tell and a challenge to put all those hard working family members out there. This has now clearly put my life into perspective. I am not going to be able to write a book in 4 months. OK, that isn’t true, I am not going to write a good book in 4 months or even 6 months for that matter. If it is to be a labour of love, this is not something that should be rushed or a goal that needs to be checked off a list. This is about carefully crafting an inspirational challenge to all working people to re-look their lives and ensure that the choices they have made and continue to make are in line with what they deem is worthwhile in life. I am OK with the fact that I may be writing as a tonic for my own soul. I still have no idea if I can write but I intend to find out if the following idiom applies to me or not :

“There is a book in everyone, most people should leave it there!”

Yesterday, I had an old colleague come around and look at all of my computers. The goals were to create a mini network and solve a myriad of IT problems. There was a time in my life when I was the IT guru at work. Now, many years later, technology and software have long left me in their dust. This point was sincerely driven home as this colleague of mine calmly and methodically resolved all of the issues that have plagued my wife and I for so long. Something else that was shattered yesterday is the illusion that I now have lots of time to master all sorts of things that interest me. I may have heaps of time, but I do not have THAT much that I can learn everything out there. There are some things that are best left to the experts and I need to ensure that the things I tackle are the things that I thoroughly enjoy.

This chap is filled with a deep IT knowledge that he has spent a lifetime accumulating. This is his passion and it shows! It is very clear that I too need to focus on my passions and the results will also shine on through!

If you have been reading this and have not deduced that my mind is in a muddle, then I would have to admit that my writing must be pretty poor. I think I am going through one of those times where you know what the right answer is, but are unwilling to let go of other possibilities. The problem is that the right answer is not one that your brain wants to hear. I suppose it is more something that you feel and know versus can logically reason through. Yup, that is where I am. I know that I should be writing my book and taking my time and regrouping. Instead I am doing my best to think through clever commercial opportunities for the future. I bet you can guess which way my brain wants to go….

As a result I seem to be operating like a headless chicken. Here and there and back here and not achieving much in between, let alone a little bit of sorely needed rest. I take solace in the fact that I have identified my headless status and it is now time to take charge.

I had a surf this morning. If you live in Cape Town and are wondering where – fear not you did not miss anything close to epic. Instead I decided it was time to overcome my inability to surf in ultra small waves. It was great to be out in the sea at the crack of dawn. For me nothing beats that feeling. I feel most refreshed and ready to rest up a bit today. I am still not able to surf ultra small waves.

So there you have it. I am so busy on my mental roundabout that I have not even found the time to update my blog. I hope you will understand…

Yesterday was a good day. It was truly a day of reconciliation for our family. December the 16th has always been a public holiday in South Africa. It used to be the celebration of a bloody battle between the Afrikaners and the Zulu’s and the triumph of one of them. It is now far more appropriately named Day of Reconciliation. It is a day to celebrate being reconciled. Obviously given our countries history, we should continue to be thankful for our progress so far and strive for complete integration one day.

I would guess that my family is like a lot of families. There are sides who over time have failed to communicate. Yesterday an uncle of mine invited all the possible family members together for lunch and sneakily did not tell everyone of his plans. The plan worked brilliantly and the family talked and hugged and kissed. It was all very special.

These events are great for the sharing of old stories. My father reminded me of something that my brother used to say when he got very excited. Yesterday on my blog I tried to put into words how I felt and I don’t think I quite managed it. Thanks to my bro, this may work better;

“I am so excited, my stomach feels ticklish inside!”

My new strategy of providing extra attention to my children, which includes a little bit of extra discipline seems to be paying off. Yesterday my youngest said to me, “Dad, when are you going to go BACK to work!” I assured him that he and I would be together for a very long time. I don’t think that this is what he wanted to hear, especially when he was looking for a way out after only 2 days!

There are a whole host of voices in my head. All of them are shouting at me and waving their arms, like a bunch of school kids wanting to get picked for a soccer game. It is very noisy in here, a throbbing, clashing, pulsating cacophony. Many of these voices I have not heard before, they must be the new kids. Perhaps they are not new at all and rather they have just been let out of a padded cell. The voices are thunderous. They all promise me that I can do the most amazing things is I but listen to them. Some promise me money and power, other adulation, and still some others self sacrifice and hardship.Who to pick, that loud one over there, or this bright skinny one over here? Perhaps that shy child in the corner? So many choices… I must pick the right ones if I want to win!

I am in the most awesome place at the moment. I am free! I imagine that this is more of a mental state than a physical one. There are still children to look after, a wife to support and a household to run. This is not just me on the run from my responsibilities. No, this is me free from any thoughts and controls that are not mine. I get to decide what I am going to do and where I go. I am euphoric and wonder if there is any way that this can get any better. I also wonder how my mental state will change as I gradually slip back into reality. For once the priorities of my family come first and I get to make sure that this happens. How exactly I am not sure, but in time, I have no doubt I will discover.

In the end, I am just a simple guy. I don’t have all of the answers and I am far from being wise in the ways of the world. Deep inside, I know that I need to draw on the inspiration of my God and listen to those voices that are perhaps quieter than the others and certainly less appealing if I want to make my life truly worthwhile.

Today is my last day at work. Well officially, it is only the end of January but then again I have a bit of leave stored up. Today I walked into my office for the last time and today I shall walk out of it again and not look back! My office must probably rank amongst the best in Cape Town. It is large. There is space here for my desk, a conference table, 3 leather couches and most importantly a fridge. Better than all of that is the bank of windows that looks onto Table Mountain – what a spectacular site. Especially this morning as the Cape Doctor blows some wispy white clouds over the top. Magnificent! I think I will spend a part of my morning working out on my balcony and reflect on the good times that I have had with this company over the last 11 years.

Sometimes things just click into place like they probably were meant to do. I have that feeling that what I am doing is inherently right. This crusade touches me somewhere deep inside and that feels good. It is wonderful to make such an important decision and know that with every fibre of my being that it is the right choice.

Looking back, I am pleased. I have been successful here. I have learnt and forgotten and experienced and played and worked here. I have a wonderful network of friends here. I am not leaving them behind, instead we will find new ways to fit our relationship into this new life. I have this wonderful office but I am looking forward to board meetings at backline at sunrise! I feel that I have been given a second chance at life but this time the deck has been thoroughly stacked in my favour. Those odds make the transition far easier!

I am excited and tingling within my core. Not to close this door behind me but rather open the door in front of me. I have seen the brochures for what is behind this next door – they look fantastic. Time will tell if they are indeed as sweet as they seem....

I had a brilliant idea yesterday morning. For a number of days I have been mulling over the possibility of consulting in Africa. There is certainly work to be done all over Africa. The question is how much of my life do I still want to dedicate to the same old stuff that quite frankly bores me to tears. Then again, does it bore me to tears, or is it just that I have plateaud where I am? Am I bored by the tedium of implementation or perhaps it is the planning that I find terribly uninspiring? Am I just tired from the year and have used up all of my reserves and hence I now cannot see very far? I am not sure of the answer although there is probably truth in all of the statements. Bottom line is that I need a break and after that I will probably see a lot clearer.

My brain has been operating on auto pilot for some time now and I find it rather surprising when it very softly nudges me. For some time, I thought it was gas! Luckily, some thoughts persist and bubble up slowly through that murky grey swamp that I think is my brain. A thought materialized recently, why just accept that I only have a week a month that I can give over to consulting? I know I have blogged about the amount of work out there and that I must not get swayed from my goals, they are to be my guiding light. I suppose the question is how do I only consult 1 week a month AND still focus on my goals? I know that my one week is not what a potential customer would want. This, like any problem can be solved in many ways. One way is to accept that I am not the best solution but one that a customer would put up with till they can find a better solution. Why, I asked myself, could I not be the better solution AND still only consult one week a month. The answer is simple, get the best to join me!

OK, so this is pie in the sky. It is also incredibly simple but will require a whole heap of effort and determination. Possibly the question is how much stuff in life do we accept at face value? How much of our time do we spend like corks in a current, bobbing to keep our heads above water yet drifting where the current takes us? I suppose if I want to make this new life really work for me, I am going to have to think and act very differently. I have to be aggressive in the pursuit of my goals and cannot expect to drift and achieve them all.

If you think that I am mad to search for this elusive one week of work and expect to survive, you are probably right. One week is all I can dedicate to this pursuit, the rest of my time will need to be focused on the stuff for which I have sacrificed my career. You know, those things that we say are important but don’t usually bother with; family, community, photography and my book!

I flew to Johannesburg yesterday and had a very interesting day. The first thing that I managed to achieve was a fine for talking on my cell phone while driving. My personal policy has always been that I return all calls while I am driving home, that way I am able to use that wasted driving time to good effect. The only difference is that I am able to connect my phone to Bluetooth in my car and that way talk 100% legally. Like an idiot I was talking on my phone while driving a hire car and so I have a lovely new fine to show for it. Quite frankly, I broke the law, now I need to pay. I had the most interesting discussion with the traffic officer who gave me the fine. I think he was most surprised to have a conversation with somebody that he was fining. Regardless I explained that in Tanzania it is not illegal to drive drunk but you may get fined as an ex-pat if your car is dirty. He was intrigued! Before I drove off, he apologized for messing up my day. I was gob smacked. Here I had broken the law and he was apologizing for doing his job! Where have we come to in society when the norm is not to accept your just punishment when you err? After that I actually felt good about accepting my fine as that conversation was probably the highlight of his day!

After a great meeting, I left Sandton in Johannesburg to get to the airport. The tiny, small, miniscule factor that I had overlooked was that there was power shedding in place. This meant that a number of key Johannesburg traffic lights were off. The traffic jams were endless. The local radio did not seem to have any idea of the extent of the problem and so neither did I. After realizing how bad the jam was I thought that I would get clever and use my old knowledge of the area and perhaps escape the congestion. Boy was I wrong. I tried three other routes with the same result – more traffic at every turn. My problem was that it was now peak hour and I was now more stuck than before. A mere two and a half hours later, I arrived at the airport. I had been thoroughly beaten by the system!! My boss who was in the same traffic managed to get to the airport about an hour faster than me. Serves me right for being clever – I need to learn that I am a country bumpkin now! I am looking forward to my commute in the future – roll out of bed and walk upstairs (try not to trip over the cat)!

I got to wondering what traffic was good for. The message was pretty clear that using my cell phone was out! Sure you could eat your lunch (but that is messy). Perhaps you can meditate, certainly one could pray. Calf lifts or leg raises may also work. A question, why do cars not have a traffic feature where you can link up your laptop and do a bit of work in those busy times. In fact that idea inspired me to write this piece while driving. Now there was a good use of wasted time. I sure was not going to touch my cell phone though!!!!

If you sit in a mess of congealed cars on a daily basis – my thoughts are with you. Hang in there and find work closer to home……..

I spent the whole of last week in Tanzania. It was a glorious week and dripping hot. I am not sure if Tanzania qualifies as part of deepest darkest Africa, but then again I have no idea where that would be either. It sure was not dark, instead hot, hot and sometimes it was hotter. Dar Es Salaam is busy. There is a true African feel to the place. Buildings are ancient and reminiscent of a time when some or other colonizer thought that the land was theirs. Now they are old and grimy and silently watch the incredible mayhem that is an African city. People and cars all follow some sort of unwritten code of conduct that is rather bewildering to an orderly rule driven self like me. Traffic is not traffic as most would understand it. Rather it is an amazing integration of the minds and hearts of the people as they intersect, merge and cross each other without break. In this land, he who hesitates is lost, and hooted at incessantly! Then again I understand that Tanzanians are one of the most peaceful of people’s on the African continent.

Street pavements are crammed with stalls and small shops filled with remarkably similar products. Cell phone companies battle it out on these streets every ten metres. Tyres are stacked on the road side in orderly piles, so much so that one would think that they are the columns that hold up these tired buildings. Radios and washing machines are for sale to only the bravest willing to park their cars at the side of the road. Incidentally, cars here are different too. This is a city of off road vehicles.. This is not Sandton where the only mud and terrain that a car may see is the washing of the mall floor. No, this is Africa, where cars are tough and need to go anywhere.

Deep inside, I know that I am in true Africa. It has rhythm and soul. It is busy and full of life. It smells deeply of something that I know is Africa, smoky and spicey and earthy. Sometimes it does not smell good at all. In some small way, I belong here. Mostly I feel that I can reconnect to my roots here. Deep down inside I know that this is only a stop over. A temporary sojourn to a another time, but in the end I will go home to my home in South Africa. But my connection to this great continent has grown and I am now a little more complete!

I have a new dilemma today. I have discovered that I have so much to do next year that I am unsure how I will be able to fit it all into my new life. This is most bizarre. Just a couple of weeks ago, I had no idea how I would build a new life and be able to sustain it. That was then, in the last week I have been offered a whole variety of consulting work, enough for a number of people.

I have moved from thoughts of breadline income to thoughts of making some serious money. Bam! I have fallen back into my old ways and have caught myself scheming on how to have it all! How fast have I fallen???

My wife and I chatted about this new conundrum this evening. I need to go back to my goals and ensure that anything I do on the money making front is linked to them. Either this consulting work assists me to meet my goals or it must go. I honestly thought that I had made the hard money choice when I gave up my well paid job, now here I am having to make that decision again. For an ambitious me, this is hard. How many times am I going to be tempted to go back to new paths but old ways?

I also wonder if I am not doing myself a disservice by not taking my year off. I have saved hard to afford this break. Perhaps I should be cashing in and enjoying myself. Then again perhaps I am over thinking this whole problem! There is nothing stopping me from continually trying new things to find the ones that are going to lead me to my definition of success....

I need to count my blessings, it really is great to have a high class problem on a Monday. And to be in demand - well that is it's own kind of high.....

I have spent the week working away in Tanzania this week. It was a really wonderful week on many levels. The most important reason was one that I would never ever have guessed. For the first time in many years I was actually appreciated. WOW!! I am not sure how many people work in an environment where much is expected and very little is shown in return. My job has been like that for some time but this week was different. Here was a bunch of people who had no idea if I could help them or not. Yet they took me in like a long lost family member and really looked after me. This may be the ex-pat way but it really made me feel part of something special! In the end I am not sure that I told them much that they did not know and yet they were gracious enough to tell me it was wonderful!!! Them appreciating me really encouraged me to the extra mile.

The learning for me is once again about taking people for granted. This must be the simplest and most common of human mistakes yet most frustrating. I cannot wait to get home to my wife and family and tell them how much I need them in my life and how proud I am of all of them. Being away really makes one appreciate home and what you have. I cant wait for my kids to whine in my ear and fight with each other and cause much havoc. They are my children and I will do my best to ensure that they know they are well loved, even when they behave poorly!

Any minute now, I am going to sort out the couple of mails that have slipped into my inbox in the last week of my corporate "working" life! Thereafter another plane trip to Cape Town and home. It is going to be a fantastic weekend!!!!

Next week - lots of stories and thoughts about the world of Africa....