Kindly suck it up!

Ah Valentine’s Day, what fun it has been...


Romance tossed quickly aside as the prickly issue of parenthood reared its ugly head again. We spent the day in debate, trying to fathom the right way to deal with this issue. A decidedly funny issue, so long as it is not your child involved, otherwise just plain mean and nasty. Not two of my favourite words to describe my family!

This is big enough to teach him an important life lesson. A lesson that will stand him in good stead throughout his metamorphosis into a wonderful man! It means that we need to be clever parents; that we need to think deeply before we act. There are many books and movies that speak to way out events that have made fundamental differences in people’s lives. They are easy to read and watch but creating those events is a whole different story.

Obviously banning the usual stuff like parties, surfing, TV, and computers, or extra chores, or no pocket money, or, dare I say it, a hiding, are not going to have the impact we are seeking. They will make him feel bad for a bit, but will not alter the fundamental issue; other people have thoughts and feelings too.

Our soul searching led us to an idea that seemed to fit on many fronts. His punishment is to achieve ten random acts of kindness, and to write about it all in a diary. It seems a little intense for a 9 year old, but then again his thoughtful Valentines gesture was rather radical. We walk a fine line between associating kindness with punishment, but hope that the diary and our daily discussions will help him to see the light. We also hope that he will begin to understand that small gestures of kindness are highly appreciated and incredibly valuable as opposed to self centeredness.

These discussions have been energising in a sense, real parenting at work. More than that, they have opened a window of deep insight into my wife, an incredible privellage!

And with all of this kindness, we may just rediscover the true meaning of Valentine's Day!