The road to hell is NOT Paved!

Taking a deep breath is theoretically possible but I just cannot get it right. The only thing preventing that breath of glorious fresh air is the physical assault on my body, currently being mechanically undertaken by the backseat of a double cab pickup. An unusual perpetrator, yes, but frightening in its savage and violent movements in different directions, it would seem, at once! Each impact seems to cause my breathing reflex to pause, until every so often I have this unusual though that I have not taken a breath in some time. Breathe in, breathe out, got one!

By spreading my legs and wedging my feet into the two passenger doors, just behind the seat posts, and then grabbing the roof handles, I attempt to rigidly follow the motion of the car. A few moments later, I am exhausted by the effort. There is just no rhythm to the motion, just endless random movement as each shock absorber valiantly tries to absorb the gaping vacant sections of road. Strategy number two sees me going with the flow, feeling the motion of the car. In an instant I am airborne as the seat catapults me vertically. The roof leans down to smack me back into place. I feel that smack coming, it is palpable, I see myself as a ripe melon thrown at a wall. Reflexively I tuck my chin onto my chest and feel the roof lining kiss the back of my neck!
My colleague is driving. He relentlessly manhandles the steering wheel from side to side, again, and again. I want to tell him to stop but have no better idea as to how to deal with these ruts out of which this road has been built. He is only driving at 10 kilometres per hour and it feels like torture. I cannot bear to think about the many kilometres we still have to travel. And then he accelerates like a man possessed. The chronic assault of squeaking car body panels quietens considerably. My body takes a deep breath all on its own, and I start to hope. The speedometer pushes past 20km/hr, then 30. Ditches and ruts fly past us on either side; the needle squeezes past 50km/hr! My hope soars and then splinters as he hits the brakes hard, and with the back wheels fishtailing, we are into more impossible potholes.

There is this impossible idea that meditation will help. I try to picture myself in a place of serenity but those thoughts are so roughly shaken that they are scrambled and abandoned in our passing dust.

This is no ordinary road. This is the main highway between Juba, the capital city, and Yei in Southern Sudan. Not only is it a highway it is also the only road between these two towns, and the principle trucking route for goods imported into this country.

40 bone jarring kilometres later and the road improves marginally. Although it is possible that my mind has shut down so as to ignore my aching body. I find myself lost in the space outside of my window, a space filled with far less pain. The foliage is an iridescent green and stretches as far as the eye can see. Young teak plantations filled with new trees look on serenely, their leaves pregnant with the expectation of being part of a process that will create wood as hard as iron. And the iron husks of well worn tanks, gutted trailers, and pared down trucks lie abandoned and rotting along the roadside. Sudan is not the desert I expected at all; well except for the dusty streets that weave their way through the capital.

The real surprise is the roadblock. A 45 minute opportunity to stand on that same road that has tortured me for so long! This whilst some crazy people clear out landmines, a hangover of the recent civil war. The condition of the road makes more sense to me now!

I watch as a man alights from a taxi and sprints off into the bush. I see a woman running toward him from a traditional village. Their meeting is a Hollywood lift and swirl. Joyously reunited! I smile, and wonder if that one moment, so unrelated to my trip, has made it all worthwhile.

My body is sore, my mind vacant, and my spirit thirsting for rest. But when all was said and done and with my head snuggling on my pillow, I did not regret the mere 340km travelled in just under 10 hours!

Tomorrow should be interesting!