Surfing SA Grommets

We spent Easter in the most unusual of places; at a surfing beach in Port Elizabeth watching my oldest represent Boland at the SA Grommet Games. Not quite what Easter is all about!

Competing at provincial level at the age of seven has to be daunting. Unfortunately Luke caught some or other virus the day before the competition and was incredibly sick. Looking at him huddled in a ball with an incredible fever making him shake uncontrollably, I wondered if the surfing would go on. As the day wore on, he started to recover but unfortunately the virus had left together with his self confidence!

The next blow for him was that he had to leave the comfort of his family and join the team for the next four days. That’s pretty long to remain involved as a seven year old! He was also the youngest member of this team which included another 15 girls and boys up to the age of 15. Even though we would be on hand the whole time, it was rather difficult to hand over our precious son into the care of somebody we did not know.

On the beach, Luke developed an unexplained fear of the waves in the sea, claiming that they were all too big for him. This is a little problematic when the reason you are looking at those waves is because you are expected to ride them! He refused to practise and kept to himself which is most unusual. He was resolute despite much discussion. There was no doubt that this surf break was very different to the beach back home, with bigger, more powerful waves. For Luke, catching waves was out!

I was incredibly annoyed. This trip had cost an absolute fortune and he seemed to be throwing it away. Negotiation did not get us anywhere and so my wife and I looked a little deeper. It turned out that he had not eaten breakfast (or even dinner the night before), he was sharing a double bed with two other youngsters (and so he had not really slept), he had gone to bed after 22h00 (3 hours later than normal), and he still did not feel well. He was in a terrible state. Luckily he did not have to surf that day. That evening, Donna took control and ensured that all the young kids got food and went to bed early and we hoped for the best.

Instead one of the kids took the duvet and slept on the floor leaving the other two to try and sleep in the cold. There was no breakfast again and so we met a rather dejected Luke on the beach. He had an abysmal first round heat, catching a few poor waves and he left the sea in tears. Our realisation was that this trip would probably rob Luke of his love for surfing if things continued as they were.

It was a difficult situation. On the one hand, Luke was there to represent his province. On the other, he was a shattered little boy. My wife and I decided that his welfare was more important than any medal and that his enjoyment of the event would be first prize. We kidnapped our own son from the team, took him out for his favourite dinner, got him to bed early (in his own bed), gave him his favourite breakfast, and just pandered to his emotional needs. We agreed that regardless of the result of the next round, a win would involve him walking out of the sea with a smile on his face.

I joined him in the sea during his heat and was able to talk him through his 20 minutes of being on show. His surfing was far better than the last round and he walked out smiling. Oh joy! The result was announced a bit later and he had come second, enough to get him into the finals. The change in this child was unbelievable! On the last day he got in the water for the finals and gave of his best. He caught some great waves and took a third place. Most importantly he loved surfing the final. My son was back!

Packing the family into the car and bidding PE farewell made me a very happy man. It had been a difficult four days for our family. Most importantly we left with our sons self confidence intact and an understanding that unconditional love for your children is far more important than their results.

Clearly there is also nobody else who can look after your children the way you can! Perhaps that is why they have been entrusted to our care!