Am I boring you?

I have been travelling again.

On a delayed flight back home as I try and write something intelligent. Today saw the end of the five courses I was scheduled to facilitate. It was good but could have been better. I have certainly improved but still find I fall desperately short of where I would like to be.

I was the worst student ever. I hated lectures or training and often found myself building complex contraptions from the contents of my pencil box. Now it is me standing in front of a crowd of people, who are listening and evaluating my every word.  Far removed from the inane boredom I used to feel and deep in new territory where I have the ability to create that same boredom in a number of unsuspecting students. Or to do the exact opposite and excite something within them to be better than they were. I am more than a little aware of how tenuous this balance can be!

There seems to be much for me to learn. The art of timing, developing interest, changing tack when interest is lost, reading an audience, speaking directly to my audience, and doing it all without prompts. I had a manager in SAB who believed the art of a good speaker was someone who could get up in front of an audience and convey his message without having prepared a thing. I fall well short of that mark!

I don’t think I am a trainer. It is something I do when asked, in order to pay the bills. Training is certainly not my passion. However it may be a small step on the way to me becoming a public speaker. Now that excites me! Public speaking has not always been a dream of mine. Instead it is something that has crept up on me with some stealth. Perhaps the experiences of the last year have lent some support to the notion I could be a good speaker and share something of a worthwhile message.

Therein of course lies the problem, the lack of a message which is interesting and worthy of a listenership. I have no amazing speciality, in depth research, wonderful stories, or even a remotely good stand on an issue. I do have a passion for fatherhood and the family and plenty of counter society thought. I fear it is not enough.

If this past year has taught me anything, it is that the unexpected happens. And when it does, one hopes you will be in the audience to cheer me on.