In for the long run

I am constantly amazed that I married an incredible woman. One of the things that makes her so incredible is how she is a perfect match to what I need in a life partner. I have no idea, why at the tender age of 23, I felt compelled to make the leap of faith, to ask her to live out the rest of our lives side by side.

I look around and see so many failed marriages. Some just in their infancy at the time of their implosion! I often wonder what made our choice so different from the carnage we have witnessed.

When I look at our relationship which is almost 14 married years young, I wonder what it was that we saw in each other way back then. Potential, possibilities, hope, I have no idea. With the benefit of hindsight, I know the reasons I love my wife now, are not things I could ever have known with any certainty then. In fact these reasons were not things I was looking for in a partner when we pledged our lives to each other.

There was no way I could have predicted the strong bond that ties us together, the shared experiences we relive with joy, the companionship especially when television is impossible to watch, the friendship that makes life wonderful, and the deep love that makes me a significantly better person.

I would hate to label my wife and I as soul mates, it seems almost demeaning, the ‘meant to be’ philosophy. I would prefer to think the success of our marriage is due to the daily decisions we both make about our lives together. Decisions that bring us closer together by tiny fractions, moment by moment!

In a world where physical attractiveness is one of the key measures of success, I wonder what disservice is done to our youth. Where every form of entertainment glories the pleasures of the perfect body, something that has little to nothing to do with a successful marriage. When I look at old, wrinkled, and stooped couples with love in their eyes after many years of marriage, I know marriage is made of something much more than hunger and lust.

Donna and I are still new in this game, having much to still experience, work through and grow. Yet I am still amazed at how good marriage can be. And cannot help wondering how much better it will get in time. Especially if we continue to work at it, day after day!