Another blow

My nose and I have been good friends for many years. And then I went and blew it!

We have been through much together, ups and downs. There was a time when we were very young and playing in a friend’s garden, when my nose stopped the incredible advance of a flight of stairs. This heroic action was not without its consequences, copious quantities of blood were spilt which ensured a sudden end to a peaceful garden party. My nose still proudly displays the scar. In fact that scar leads us forward into every day!

There are times when we argue, mainly in the winter months when it gets all snotty with me. I find I don’t link my nose then, and it seeks comfort in the casual embrace of others.  Yes, my nose has loved its fair share of tissues, and left some colourful wet spots in its wake.

I get my own back by eating hot chillies. I love chillies. I love the way they give me a high. I even enjoy the sensation of perspiration on my forehead. My nose always has the last laugh though, and it all ends in another tissue cuddle.

 Other times my nose has gone so far as to bleed for me. Is this not the ultimate act of friendship? The resulting blood stains on my shirts have given me the macho respect I always felt I was due. It really hurts that a soft tissue is the only thing that will comfort my nose again, and all I can do is stand back and watch.

Looking down my nose has never been easy. My eyes tend to cross over and squint and instead of being condescending, I end up looking like a mad man. We have also tried walking with my nose held up high, but I keep tripping over stuff, so we gave that up too. We just had to face the fact that there are some things we just cannot do!

We have done some secret things together too. We even snuck off to a hospital in Pretoria and had a nose job. It turns out that a nose is very useful to the process of equalising in a plane. My work started to require frequent air travel and my silly nose refused to equalise on the descents. It was a little painful and I tried hard to force fingers through my ear hole to put an end to it all. I still have no idea what my nose had against my ears, although I have the feeling I should! When I started to rack up my air miles, I booked myself in for a rhinoplasty. Lots more blood, kilometre long plugs up my nose, and five day off work did wonders for both of us.

Last night marked another milestone in our relationship. Things have been going so well between us lately, just two half hearted snotty fights all winter. We really have been joined at the cheek so as to speak.  Last night ruined it all. Willie’s knee and my nose are never ever going to see each other again. That is a fact! Willie was apologetic but his knee just laughed it off. Instead my nose and eyes had a very sad conversation resulting in a few tears being shed. Some of the tears making a sudden left at the end of my nose where the old track had been slightly modified!

I am not sure that Judo is good for me anymore. So far this year, the ligaments in my foot have complained twice and very loudly. My elbows are bruised, as are my knees, and now my nose is out of joint. I really don’t know how to make it up to all of my best friends...