Time with my boys

Weeks like this past week do not come often enough; weeks filled with family breakthroughs!

One of Matthew’s friends was very excited about the prospect of learning to surf. This somehow pushed the right buttons, causing Matthew to ask to accompany his friend for a week of surf school. It is not like I have not tried to get Matthew surfing; instead all of our sessions have ended in frustration as he refused to step into the water. The water, of course, is an essential ingredient for surfing! Some time back, I ascribed his reluctance to a fear of the sea, and decided not to push the issue. Or at least not too much!

Matthew began his first lesson with a multitude of excuses as to why he was not going to surf. The coach told him to stop whining and get in the water. He duly did so, and then discovered a new passion. Five lessons later and he has been transformed into an eager surfing beaver. So much so that he enquired if it was too late to ask Santa for a surfboard for Christmas. Oh yes, far too late! He is an absolute natural on a board, even better than Luke, who represented Boland at that age. To watch my son who could not face the sea, suddenly execute a perfect back hand rail grab turn, made me shake my head in amazement.

I can only wonder what all the fuss has been about. I also am amazed at the powerful influence a friend can be, even at such a young age...

Whilst Matt was safely surfing with surf school, Luke and I found ourselves with time on our hands and a sea at our feet. We needed no convincing to make the most of our position.

Luke has always been a lazy sportsman, instinctively relying on natural talent, of which he has been blessed with oodles. The sea is a wonderful leveller. It eats you up and spits you out if you are lazy. Paddling for Luke has always been too much effort and so he has not bothered too much, exiting at the first twinge of tiredness in his arms. This week I have watched him grow from this good but lazy surfer into a stylish confident wave shredder. Our local beach hosted some big waves this week, which meant Luke has had to paddle for his life to get to backline. Once there he had to then catch waves up to three times his size. By the end of the week he was comfortable surfing anywhere in the line up, and taking off on absolutely anything. His performance each day eclipsed the previous day’s best ever performance. There is nothing that compares to a dad’s pride when other surfers in the water cheer on your little son and shake their heads in wonder!

An even more bizarre event took place when Luke cleaned his room; without having being asked to do so. He then happily mowed the lawn just before Christmas and even wanted to learn how to use the weedeater as well! A neighbour had roped him into watering their garden while they are away. The maturity he has shown in dealing with this daily task has been nothing short of amazing. Boy, has he grown up before my eyes, and in just a couple of days.

I am so blessed to have been able to spend this time with my boys. I have to wonder how much all of the ‘dad focussed’ time has contributed to these changes. And then I have to wonder why I have not invested even more time in their lives...

Just keep me busy

I am struggling more than ever with the concept of relaxation.

I am unable to sit down at my PC for more than a couple of minutes at a time. There is work I need to do, but cannot bring myself to get busy. There is a book I can rewrite but have not the slightest inclination. There are some major maintenance projects around the house, but I would rather not even watch the paint dry.

Instead I am happy to go surfing. Reading, cooking and baking, eating and drinking, and lots of time spent with friends all seem to be just dandy.

I have an inkling I might be unwinding from the year and there is no way I am ready to get stuck into anything remotely resembling work. Perhaps my body is way ahead of me, forcing me to take it easy.

Is it possible, I have to learn to enjoy frittering my time away instead of banking it with solidly delivered ‘to do’ items checked off the list?

The real work will find me soon enough!

Holidays

My final project for the year was delivered on Wednesday last week. A little early in the Christmas season, but then again, nobody in the FMCG industry wants to see a consultant in their busiest period of the year. It does of course play havoc with cash flow; no paying work over December and January but then again I am not complaining.

It does provide me with the most amazing opportunity to spend good quality time with my children. Lots of it!

I have two goals for this holiday; as much family time as possible and get super fit.

Luke and I have been out surfing the last three days. I love surfing with Luke, and it meets two of my holiday goals at the same time. My surfing experience with Luke has been dramatically enhanced by an early Christmas present from my family, a surfboard called a fish. It is fatter and thicker than normal which enables one to surf the typically blown out mush that our local break offers in summer. This way Luke and I can surf together and we can both have loads of fun!

My quality time with the boys has included teaching them some new skills. This weekend Luke mowed the lawn for the first time. Now don’t laugh, mowing properly is a skill. One needs to be attuned to the grass, the mower, and most importantly ones toes.

Some of the new skills are a little obscure, like Blackjack and poker. Every boy needs to know how to play these card games and Luke and Matt are having loads of fun. I am fascinated to see the maths skills at work in blackjack, who would have thought. Perhaps by the end of the holiday, I will have trained them to count cards…

I think today, we will learn all about knots!!

God's Logic

I have noticed that any remotely religious topic on News24 is hotly debated. News24 is my on line news provider, but I imagine the insight is true of any news vendor on the net.

There are always 2 distinct camps, those who angrily refute the myth that God exists, based on solid logical, and rational arguments, peppered with belittling language. In other words, how can you idiotic Christians believe in ‘fairy tales’? The other camp consists of the individuals rooting for God. Their reasoning is often flowery, weak, full of biblical quotes, and ultimately ending in the ‘no debate’, ‘just have faith’ argument.

Each side tries their best to convert the other to their way of thinking, with neither side seemingly making any progress in amassing converts. To my surprise, it is the masters of logic who seem hell bent on winning each of these interactions. The arguments always end in impasse. No surprise there!

The notion of faith is the crux of the disagreement! This concept is unacceptable to anyone who wants it proven from first principles. Obviously if that were possible, the debate around God’s existence would be a non issue, either we prove him to be here or not. Christians fail to get the logic argument, as by its nature Christianity asks its believers to believe what cannot be seen (and hence proven). In other words, one must put logic aside in order to embrace the concept of being Christian.

For a non believer, the logic just does not stack up.

I am then further amazed how upset both sides become, as they fail to make any headway. As per any good disagreement, both sides refuse to budge from their opinion. Sadly, agreeing to disagree, and then moving on, does not seem to be an option. Instead the same debate is rehashed on publication of the next religious article, with the same amount of fervour.

I wonder what the right response is to such an impasse. Being a highly logical thinker, I appreciate the logical argument. Being a good Christian at the same time, I get the complete breakdown in logic. I see my inconsistent thinking and yet, I would have it no other way. God makes sense to me on all levels of my life, more than that I feel genuinely loved. I am happy to take that any day over the satisfaction of winning an on line sparring match with cold logic.

Am I boring you?

I have been travelling again.

On a delayed flight back home as I try and write something intelligent. Today saw the end of the five courses I was scheduled to facilitate. It was good but could have been better. I have certainly improved but still find I fall desperately short of where I would like to be.

I was the worst student ever. I hated lectures or training and often found myself building complex contraptions from the contents of my pencil box. Now it is me standing in front of a crowd of people, who are listening and evaluating my every word.  Far removed from the inane boredom I used to feel and deep in new territory where I have the ability to create that same boredom in a number of unsuspecting students. Or to do the exact opposite and excite something within them to be better than they were. I am more than a little aware of how tenuous this balance can be!

There seems to be much for me to learn. The art of timing, developing interest, changing tack when interest is lost, reading an audience, speaking directly to my audience, and doing it all without prompts. I had a manager in SAB who believed the art of a good speaker was someone who could get up in front of an audience and convey his message without having prepared a thing. I fall well short of that mark!

I don’t think I am a trainer. It is something I do when asked, in order to pay the bills. Training is certainly not my passion. However it may be a small step on the way to me becoming a public speaker. Now that excites me! Public speaking has not always been a dream of mine. Instead it is something that has crept up on me with some stealth. Perhaps the experiences of the last year have lent some support to the notion I could be a good speaker and share something of a worthwhile message.

Therein of course lies the problem, the lack of a message which is interesting and worthy of a listenership. I have no amazing speciality, in depth research, wonderful stories, or even a remotely good stand on an issue. I do have a passion for fatherhood and the family and plenty of counter society thought. I fear it is not enough.

If this past year has taught me anything, it is that the unexpected happens. And when it does, one hopes you will be in the audience to cheer me on.

The Gift of Children

I was thinking this morning about how blessed I am to have the children I do. Sure they often act up and act out, but they are all amazing individuals. I am most privileged to have been chosen to be their father. I hope and pray I can fulfil my part of the bargain and be the best possible father to each of them. To be there when they need me, and even when they don’t. To have the right advice for them in times of trouble. To share loads of laughs, adventures, sporting triumphs, and defeats. To hold their hands when they need comforting. To guide them wisely when they go astray. And most of all to love and appreciate them for who they are!

It struck me that all children should have parents who feel this way about them. That those children were equally blessed to have parents willing to sacrifice and serve, in order for them to grow up into better adults.

Even though I am the parent, my children definitely make me strive to be a better me. And that has to be good news for everyone!

It made me smile to think of other parents loving their children just as passionately as I love mine.

How wonderful if this was a blessing bestowed on every child, but sadly it just isn’t so!