Attack by Vicious Coffee Mug

The most extraordinary thing happened to me this morning.

On waking up I headed for the kitchen and proceeded with an activity that was being replicated in countless other households. The making of the first cup of coffee!

I don’t drink coffee but my wife loves her morning brew. She also has pretty specific requirements about how it is to be made. They go something like this; milk to be warmed in microwave for 40 seconds, kettle boiled, frothy device used to froth milk into a frenzy, 1 spoon Nescafe, 1.5 spoons brown sugar, then stirred not shaken! Getting the froth into the shape of a heart is a bonus!

I was simultaneously completing step one and two when I retrieved the coffee cup from the microwave. It happens the same way every morning except that this time it felt as if the mug slipped as I was about to put it down. It banged on the counter and exploded. That is correct, exploded! I was a little stunned and watched as milk dripped from cupboards and counters and lazily made its way to the floor. There it reencountered pieces of the coffee mug in its new guise of well distributed shattered shards.

My son on the other side of the kitchen was saying ‘ow’. Flying bits had peppered him on the legs. He was OK. As the milk seeped through my shorts, I realised that my hand was dripping with blood. My left hand, mind you, not the one that handled the mug. On further inspection I discovered a 2cm gash in the palm of my hand.

The first synapse to fire was the one that realised I would not be surfing this morning. Something I had spent days looking forward to. My son’s first response was to say that he was sorry I would not be able to do Judo this evening. A double blow!

I am now convinced that the moral of the story is that coffee is bad for your health! I am far safer surfing in a shark infested ocean!! Although perhaps not with a bleeding hand!