The Gentle Way

I like the idea of my children doing Judo except for the part when they actually do it!

In my short career as a parent, there is nothing that has had me as anxious as sending my son into a Judo fight. Move aside super high jungle gyms, playing in a busy street, skating half pipes, and even school homework. Judo is war, boy on boy, or girl on girl, each battling for the tiniest advantage. Opportunities get seized by the quickest thinkers, who then unleash a violent throw and shatter the other poor kid’s dreams.

This week is the week of the South African Judo nationals. The Nationals are big with at least 1,000 spectators crammed into the stands. Intimidating, tough, and up to each competitor to decide how far he or she is willing to push.

Luke put in an incredible effort on Monday, taking a bronze medal in his weight class. Not bad in a division containing 17 of the country's best competitors! Even his mother was heard to be screaming from the side!

This sport teaches kids so much; to fend for oneself, to think fast and execute, to rise above threatening situations, perseverance, discipline, and how to conquer fear. And then there are the physical benefits, the camaraderie, lessons in pain management, and learning to lose with honour.

This sport has incredible things to offer children. Watching my son walk out there on his own, made me realise just how much he has gained in a relatively short time. I cannot even describe the feelings that go through me as I stand on the side and watch him fend for himself. It has certainly helped me to start letting go of the belief that I can control everything in my children’s life. It was rather evident that all of this was way out of my control. My excitement for my child is not about the medal but more how he stood up to a tough challenge on his own, pointing the way forward for how he will deal with the tough life battles to come!

However, it remains incredibly difficult to watch your kid being thumped or even your kid thumping another's kid. I suppose this parental discomfort is worth all the benefits even if I watch with my eyes closed!