Last night I heard that a friend was heading off to Elands Bay for a whole day of surfing today. That sounded like something that I had to be a part of! Somehow I was invited along and so at 07h30 I found myself standing in my mates kitchen drinking water.
Drinking water because we were lamenting the absolute lack of surf at Eland's. A mate standing on the beach relayed the terrible news that it was small and crowded. Our two and a half hour mission up the West Coast was cancelled.
At least I have lots of work to do!
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Swimming Lessons
My oldest son’s school held a championship gala on Friday last week. The idea is that all of the top swimmers in each grade compete against each other.
His first event was a length of freestyle. He and five other competitors mounted the starting blocks. With the ease of seasoned competitors they readied themselves. The starting gun was fired and six splashes ensued. It needs to be said that the competition amongst these six friends is terrifyingly fierce. One of the boys though is head and shoulders above the rest of them though, and there was little doubt that he would be winning everything. That aside, there was no shortage and energy spared in getting to the other side. At the halfway mark, my son was in second, although that may have been my biast parental vision. Then he swam into the wall! He followed that up by swimming into the lane marker and finished a frustrated last.
It transpired that on diving his goggles had come off and rested uselessly on his nose and mouth. These things happen! He was rather disappointed that they could not swim the race again as he had not been able to give his best. He channelled his disappointment into his next race and managed to come second in the breaststroke. Backstroke, a clear non favourite, earned him a fifth place.
His first event was a length of freestyle. He and five other competitors mounted the starting blocks. With the ease of seasoned competitors they readied themselves. The starting gun was fired and six splashes ensued. It needs to be said that the competition amongst these six friends is terrifyingly fierce. One of the boys though is head and shoulders above the rest of them though, and there was little doubt that he would be winning everything. That aside, there was no shortage and energy spared in getting to the other side. At the halfway mark, my son was in second, although that may have been my biast parental vision. Then he swam into the wall! He followed that up by swimming into the lane marker and finished a frustrated last.
It transpired that on diving his goggles had come off and rested uselessly on his nose and mouth. These things happen! He was rather disappointed that they could not swim the race again as he had not been able to give his best. He channelled his disappointment into his next race and managed to come second in the breaststroke. Backstroke, a clear non favourite, earned him a fifth place.
When all was done and everyone happy, a prize giving was held. A trophy was handed out to each of the swimmers who had accumulated the most points in their age group. The winner of the under eights, was announced as (big surprise), my son. My wife and I looked at each other and shook our heads. Somebody had made a big bad mistake. On the other side of the pool, my son collected his trophy, and was overjoyed to have his photo taken and then sit with all the other winners.
You can imagine the thoughts going through our heads. We obviously had to fix the mistake as the real winner really needed to be recognised. At the same time, how does one publically remove an award that has been given to a seven year old in a way that he can understand and causes him the least public embarrassment? I guess there really is no way to get that all right.
My wife approached the vice principle (as the principle was still handing out trophies to the right kids). He had the results checked and they found their error. The kid who had accumulated the most points was announced and he too had his picture taken. He then walked over to the rest of the winners.
My son stood up, shook his friends hand and handed over the trophy! Don’t get me wrong, he was very upset. As a dad, I could not have been more proud! My son had just learnt one of life’s tough lessons, that doing the right thing is often more than incredibly difficult (and perhaps that the right thing often does not feel right)!
Three days later and I am still so incredibly proud of the way he handled himself. I hope that as parents, we can assist our sons to build on this strength of character and become forces for good in a world gone mad.
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Day Dreaming
Wow, but this has been a good week! I have gotten through a stack of admin and poured plenty of thought into my new business as well as spent time with my wife and the kids. I like weeks like this.
For any good week, there should be a commensurate reward. And so this morning at 08h30, I am off to see the dentist! Partly for an annual check up and mainly to solve the issues caused by one of my teeth. A tooth for that matter that is porcelain (or whatever substance that they use), stuck on a post, and fixed firmly to my jaw. In other words this painful manifestation in my mouth is not even a living component. Something does not add up, either that or I am just not doctor material.
While I wait in anticipation for my appointment, I am enjoying my relaxed state and day dreaming about my next business trip. Normally my trips do not require much of this dreamy state but then again there has been precious little that I have known about the countries that I have visited. This country is slightly different. There are one or two things that I do know.
Its capital city has arguably the worst traffic in the world. I can’t wait to experience that! It is also a country which has a reputation for gangsterism, corruption (more than most), kidnapping, and seriously fantastic runners. It has oil and guns in abundance, armed escorts, car hire company that supply cars with drivers (never without), and expats that live in heavily guarded compounds. It is part of Africa that I have always considered deepest darkest, although in reality, it is probably on the fringes.
I have never ever wanted to visit this place and yet now I find myself strangely fascinated by it. In just a couple of weeks, armed with just my camera, I will be breathing the questionably fresh air of Nigeria!
It has to be better than pulling teeth?
For any good week, there should be a commensurate reward. And so this morning at 08h30, I am off to see the dentist! Partly for an annual check up and mainly to solve the issues caused by one of my teeth. A tooth for that matter that is porcelain (or whatever substance that they use), stuck on a post, and fixed firmly to my jaw. In other words this painful manifestation in my mouth is not even a living component. Something does not add up, either that or I am just not doctor material.
While I wait in anticipation for my appointment, I am enjoying my relaxed state and day dreaming about my next business trip. Normally my trips do not require much of this dreamy state but then again there has been precious little that I have known about the countries that I have visited. This country is slightly different. There are one or two things that I do know.
Its capital city has arguably the worst traffic in the world. I can’t wait to experience that! It is also a country which has a reputation for gangsterism, corruption (more than most), kidnapping, and seriously fantastic runners. It has oil and guns in abundance, armed escorts, car hire company that supply cars with drivers (never without), and expats that live in heavily guarded compounds. It is part of Africa that I have always considered deepest darkest, although in reality, it is probably on the fringes.
I have never ever wanted to visit this place and yet now I find myself strangely fascinated by it. In just a couple of weeks, armed with just my camera, I will be breathing the questionably fresh air of Nigeria!
It has to be better than pulling teeth?
Monday, January 19, 2009
Family Time in the Mountains
Yesterday was a good day, family time!
It all started with a trip to church together. Surprisingly that went well and the wriggling, squirming, and complaining was much reduced. A short trip to the local supermarket for some picnic goodies and we were almost set to go. The smart church clothes were retired in favour of good walking shoes, shorts, and a backpack. The backpack filled with essentials like costumes, towels, and a first aid kit. In my family it pays to be prepared!
We were going on a family walk. A recent brainstorm has been that some walking in the majestic mountains that surround us will provide not only health benefits but some good family time. Today’s walk was to be just a short 45 minute foray up a mountain to Luiperd’s Kloof in Betty’s Bay.
We set off with much excitement, the boys practically running up the path! Things settled down with Matthew taking over the role as pace man. For a short kid with only four years of experience in life, he was pretty quick. We climbed over boulders, crossed bridges, hopped across rivers, climbed ladders, and had a thoroughly great time. We saw birds, insects, lizards, tadpoles, fish, and crabs. About halfway along the walk we came to a locked gate, to which we had been given the key. From this point to the top of the gorge, the walk took place in a forest. It was lovely and cool and a coke coloured stream swished past us. Don’t fear, the coke colour is a result of tannins in the soil. The water was cold, crystal clear, and tasted slightly like a fruit tea.
The top part of the walk was the adventure section, or at least that is what my children seemed to feel. Due to the steepness of the gorge, a network of ladders led to the top. Obviously huge fun for any kid! We had our picnic at a lovely pool in a large grotto. Just behind the grotto, water cascaded about 30 metres down a series of rocks covered in mosses and vines. It was peaceful and beautiful.
Then my eldest decided that he needed the toilet and that things could not wait. Hmmmm. So after a quick dash down the mountain, he made it safely to the bathroom at the bottom. Much relieved!
We then visited the penguin sanctuary in Betty's Bay where thousands of penguins huddle together. After meeting this creature’s virtual partner in many movies, my children were thrilled to meet the real thing.
On the way home, we passed one of my favourite surf sports, called Paranoia. My wife had never seen the place and it was time for her to be introduced. The wind was savage and so we poked around in a couple of rock pools before heading off home.
What a wonderful day. Family day is to now become a Sunday tradition. We all agreed that walking is fun and enjoyable. The mountains around us are covered in walking trails, and it is so exciting to find that we can enjoy them together. I was most proud of my children who had not a word of complaint
At long last I feel as if I have done something fatherly; created a new family tradition and found time for some real family interaction! Yeha!
It all started with a trip to church together. Surprisingly that went well and the wriggling, squirming, and complaining was much reduced. A short trip to the local supermarket for some picnic goodies and we were almost set to go. The smart church clothes were retired in favour of good walking shoes, shorts, and a backpack. The backpack filled with essentials like costumes, towels, and a first aid kit. In my family it pays to be prepared!
We were going on a family walk. A recent brainstorm has been that some walking in the majestic mountains that surround us will provide not only health benefits but some good family time. Today’s walk was to be just a short 45 minute foray up a mountain to Luiperd’s Kloof in Betty’s Bay.
We set off with much excitement, the boys practically running up the path! Things settled down with Matthew taking over the role as pace man. For a short kid with only four years of experience in life, he was pretty quick. We climbed over boulders, crossed bridges, hopped across rivers, climbed ladders, and had a thoroughly great time. We saw birds, insects, lizards, tadpoles, fish, and crabs. About halfway along the walk we came to a locked gate, to which we had been given the key. From this point to the top of the gorge, the walk took place in a forest. It was lovely and cool and a coke coloured stream swished past us. Don’t fear, the coke colour is a result of tannins in the soil. The water was cold, crystal clear, and tasted slightly like a fruit tea.
The top part of the walk was the adventure section, or at least that is what my children seemed to feel. Due to the steepness of the gorge, a network of ladders led to the top. Obviously huge fun for any kid! We had our picnic at a lovely pool in a large grotto. Just behind the grotto, water cascaded about 30 metres down a series of rocks covered in mosses and vines. It was peaceful and beautiful.
Then my eldest decided that he needed the toilet and that things could not wait. Hmmmm. So after a quick dash down the mountain, he made it safely to the bathroom at the bottom. Much relieved!
We then visited the penguin sanctuary in Betty's Bay where thousands of penguins huddle together. After meeting this creature’s virtual partner in many movies, my children were thrilled to meet the real thing.
On the way home, we passed one of my favourite surf sports, called Paranoia. My wife had never seen the place and it was time for her to be introduced. The wind was savage and so we poked around in a couple of rock pools before heading off home.
What a wonderful day. Family day is to now become a Sunday tradition. We all agreed that walking is fun and enjoyable. The mountains around us are covered in walking trails, and it is so exciting to find that we can enjoy them together. I was most proud of my children who had not a word of complaint
At long last I feel as if I have done something fatherly; created a new family tradition and found time for some real family interaction! Yeha!
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Life Again
I went to church yesterday, to the cathedral in Accra. The Mass was a little different to that which I am used to, but no harm in experiencing the faith of others in a most lively way. I have heard the statistic that Ghana is greater than 90% Christian. On Sunday’s, you will find them all in church. There had to be at least a 1000 people in the church that I attended, and that was only the first service of the day!
I was then picked up by the cabbie who had dropped me off earlier. The starter motor of his car required a bit of thump with a heavy metal object before it would work. Then we off, with a horrible grinding noise from the left front wheel. As we jerked around the place, the taxi driver told me about a woman passenger he had just dropped me off. As she was paying him, a man leant through his window and stole his cell phone. For a guy who had been driving his taxi for the last 31 years, this was a pretty big injustice.
It was hard to know what to feel. Here was a guy trying his best to earn an honest living, which was probably not very much. His taxi was slowly falling apart around his ears and then the little he had was taken away by some punk. I would have been a little mad. I would probably have lost control and yelled and screamed and then kicked some stuff and punched some other things. This guy just calmly accepted that this was life and today was just not a good day. And that was just the start of his 24 hour shift....
Then a mate picked me up and took me sailing on the Volta River just outside the village of Ada. The sailing club was having a race day and I ended up crewing for one of the members. The three races were loads of fun and boy did I learn a lot. There is a sincere beauty in the ability of a sailor and his craft to take the force of the wind and put it to work. Sometimes going with the flow and at others using this same force to turn back on itself.
I suppose life is a lot like that...
I was then picked up by the cabbie who had dropped me off earlier. The starter motor of his car required a bit of thump with a heavy metal object before it would work. Then we off, with a horrible grinding noise from the left front wheel. As we jerked around the place, the taxi driver told me about a woman passenger he had just dropped me off. As she was paying him, a man leant through his window and stole his cell phone. For a guy who had been driving his taxi for the last 31 years, this was a pretty big injustice.
It was hard to know what to feel. Here was a guy trying his best to earn an honest living, which was probably not very much. His taxi was slowly falling apart around his ears and then the little he had was taken away by some punk. I would have been a little mad. I would probably have lost control and yelled and screamed and then kicked some stuff and punched some other things. This guy just calmly accepted that this was life and today was just not a good day. And that was just the start of his 24 hour shift....
Then a mate picked me up and took me sailing on the Volta River just outside the village of Ada. The sailing club was having a race day and I ended up crewing for one of the members. The three races were loads of fun and boy did I learn a lot. There is a sincere beauty in the ability of a sailor and his craft to take the force of the wind and put it to work. Sometimes going with the flow and at others using this same force to turn back on itself.
I suppose life is a lot like that...
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Dark Matter
As a novice roving Africa wide consultant, I have discovered a new source of rich information. BBC World! You will not believe the incredible things that I hear...
This morning there was an interview with a professor who is actively seeking dark matter. His experiments are taking place a mere one kilometre underground in a Potash mine in Yorkshire. I am not sure if this is because it is really dark down there? Dark matter as you may well know is the stuff that was presumably present before the big bang. In other words the quintessential building blocks of all matter as we know it.
This professor joked that the reason it is called dark matter is because we know nothing about it but it obviously exists. Ah, sure professor, whatever you say!
Strangely these are not the only scientists looking for this phantom substance. There are more real people with real paying jobs doing scientific experiments in Switzerland. Their strategy is slightly different to the dark mine principles. Instead they are looking for this illusive stuff by banging objects violently together.
Dark mines and violence, surely these people are looking in the wrong place. After all, Africa is the place where all this stuff is at?
This morning there was an interview with a professor who is actively seeking dark matter. His experiments are taking place a mere one kilometre underground in a Potash mine in Yorkshire. I am not sure if this is because it is really dark down there? Dark matter as you may well know is the stuff that was presumably present before the big bang. In other words the quintessential building blocks of all matter as we know it.
This professor joked that the reason it is called dark matter is because we know nothing about it but it obviously exists. Ah, sure professor, whatever you say!
Strangely these are not the only scientists looking for this phantom substance. There are more real people with real paying jobs doing scientific experiments in Switzerland. Their strategy is slightly different to the dark mine principles. Instead they are looking for this illusive stuff by banging objects violently together.
Dark mines and violence, surely these people are looking in the wrong place. After all, Africa is the place where all this stuff is at?
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Traffic
Traffic was crawling again, slower than a snail with a limp (to quote a line penned by an author my wife was reading). On the right stood a lady with a tower of packets that reared up and balanced Buddha like on her head. The packets contained plantains, a potato type starch popular in Africa. These plantains were a rich mahogany in colour and I could only imagine the old oil as thick as sludge in which they had been deep fried. Only then to be sealed in plastic packets with the breath of desperation!
A loud clang rocked the car. I swivelled to the left in time to see a goat on steroids free his horn from its engagement with our car mirror. For an instant, it seemed like he gave our car the evil eye and was tempted to prove his superiority. His decision gladdened me as I had no doubt our car was no match for a monster beast with attitude. His two brothers trotted gaily after him, undeterred that their goat path was the middle lane of a highway.
Numerous billboards lined the road advertising things from Ethiopian Airlines to Prudential Bank. Two cows were chained to the latter’s support poles, both fat and grazing. They very presence inspiring the feeling that it is all a lot of bull. Not far off, two donkeys lounged at a robot, both obviously up to no good!
On my left, a car leapfrogged our car again. This time I took notice of its sign writing that screamed for attention. The car was an advert for a security and barbed wire fencing concern. One word was big and bold and stood out; ‘danger’! I wondered ludicrously if this was the only honest car in town.
I smiled as the three billy goats gruff trotted past our car again, this time sans collision. The smile faded as I saw two young boys squatting over an open channel next to the road. With a complete lack of modesty, they finished their business, upped their pants and ran off to join their friends.
Later, while feasting on a large fillet steak stuffed with Brie, at an upmarket restaurant in the Accra mall, I wondered about the extreme contrasts that flavour the continent of Africa.
A loud clang rocked the car. I swivelled to the left in time to see a goat on steroids free his horn from its engagement with our car mirror. For an instant, it seemed like he gave our car the evil eye and was tempted to prove his superiority. His decision gladdened me as I had no doubt our car was no match for a monster beast with attitude. His two brothers trotted gaily after him, undeterred that their goat path was the middle lane of a highway.
Numerous billboards lined the road advertising things from Ethiopian Airlines to Prudential Bank. Two cows were chained to the latter’s support poles, both fat and grazing. They very presence inspiring the feeling that it is all a lot of bull. Not far off, two donkeys lounged at a robot, both obviously up to no good!
On my left, a car leapfrogged our car again. This time I took notice of its sign writing that screamed for attention. The car was an advert for a security and barbed wire fencing concern. One word was big and bold and stood out; ‘danger’! I wondered ludicrously if this was the only honest car in town.
I smiled as the three billy goats gruff trotted past our car again, this time sans collision. The smile faded as I saw two young boys squatting over an open channel next to the road. With a complete lack of modesty, they finished their business, upped their pants and ran off to join their friends.
Later, while feasting on a large fillet steak stuffed with Brie, at an upmarket restaurant in the Accra mall, I wondered about the extreme contrasts that flavour the continent of Africa.
Who's your Daddy?
Fatherhood is a special skill. I suppose just like motherhood or Chief Engineer or Goal Keeper. Most people inherently understand that they are not goal keeper material and shy away from the sport of football. This is not so true for fatherhood. Most of us find our way there thinking that we are knowledgable in this simple field only to be humbled time and again by reality.
It would seem that the lot of the father is one of self discovery. With time, some things work and others fail dismally. Sometimes the things that worked once never work again and often the opposite is just as true. Simply speaking there is no pattern or formula that will make you into a good dad.
Pity really, as one thing children really need right now is a rock like father figure that they can fling their arms around with the conviction that they are well and truly loved. Sadly what children generally get are men trying to find their own meaning and relevance in life. This in itself cannot be a bad thing except of course if the learning process is complete when the father is no longer required, i.e. when children are all grown up.
There are many times when I am sure that I have failed my two boys. There are other times when I know it with absolute certainty. Fatherhood it would seem, does not just happen. Instead fathers need to actively be fathers. This requires an extraordinary amount of commitment and effort as this is one demanding role. Pity that most men of today have no idea that it is so!
Being a role model and example is certainly one way of communicating a way of life to our children, but is this sufficient when there are so many messages out there competing for their attention. How do we ‘fathers’ remain relevant in our children’s lives and ensure that they grow up to be forces of good in a world gone mad?
Some possibilities include time and commitment spent doing things that your children enjoy, the same things you probably hate! Planning is vital to ensure that the right conversations are had and your child’s questions answered honestly. Traditions are a critically important way of grounding especially important stuff in our children’s imagination. If you don’t have any traditions, make some! And then play some!
I seem to have all of the right intentions to be a great dad, but intentions are just not good enough!
Life seems to be filled with things that I need to do better
It would seem that the lot of the father is one of self discovery. With time, some things work and others fail dismally. Sometimes the things that worked once never work again and often the opposite is just as true. Simply speaking there is no pattern or formula that will make you into a good dad.
Pity really, as one thing children really need right now is a rock like father figure that they can fling their arms around with the conviction that they are well and truly loved. Sadly what children generally get are men trying to find their own meaning and relevance in life. This in itself cannot be a bad thing except of course if the learning process is complete when the father is no longer required, i.e. when children are all grown up.
There are many times when I am sure that I have failed my two boys. There are other times when I know it with absolute certainty. Fatherhood it would seem, does not just happen. Instead fathers need to actively be fathers. This requires an extraordinary amount of commitment and effort as this is one demanding role. Pity that most men of today have no idea that it is so!
Being a role model and example is certainly one way of communicating a way of life to our children, but is this sufficient when there are so many messages out there competing for their attention. How do we ‘fathers’ remain relevant in our children’s lives and ensure that they grow up to be forces of good in a world gone mad?
Some possibilities include time and commitment spent doing things that your children enjoy, the same things you probably hate! Planning is vital to ensure that the right conversations are had and your child’s questions answered honestly. Traditions are a critically important way of grounding especially important stuff in our children’s imagination. If you don’t have any traditions, make some! And then play some!
I seem to have all of the right intentions to be a great dad, but intentions are just not good enough!
Life seems to be filled with things that I need to do better
Friday, January 2, 2009
Choices
I have 2 New Years resolutions;
1. Surf more
2. Focus
This morning both came into conflict!
Last night, I agreed to join the usual gang on a 05h30 surf mission. Apart from my resolution, I reasoned that I am soon going to go off to Ghana for a couple of days and wont be able to surf there. Best I take all opportunities now.
Funny that I had not given any thought to the other critical aspects of my life, like my family who will also miss me while away. The same reasoning should apply, that I should take all opportunities now!
Fast forward to a cancelled surf session this morning in favour of spending some good time with my family. That being said, they don’t get up at the same time and so I got to immerse myself in prayer and meditation. That in itself felt great, almost better than surfing. I suppose surfing is a pursuit for satisfaction and joy now, whilst meditation is about both now and the future. Just forty minutes of quiet time gave me the feeling that I had actually achieved something worthwhile this year, already!
I would have thought it far more difficult to sacrifice my surfing and yet I am surprised by the upside! Perhaps it is all about sacrifice for the right reasons that make the sacrifice that much more valuable and palatable!
1. Surf more
2. Focus
This morning both came into conflict!
Last night, I agreed to join the usual gang on a 05h30 surf mission. Apart from my resolution, I reasoned that I am soon going to go off to Ghana for a couple of days and wont be able to surf there. Best I take all opportunities now.
Funny that I had not given any thought to the other critical aspects of my life, like my family who will also miss me while away. The same reasoning should apply, that I should take all opportunities now!
Fast forward to a cancelled surf session this morning in favour of spending some good time with my family. That being said, they don’t get up at the same time and so I got to immerse myself in prayer and meditation. That in itself felt great, almost better than surfing. I suppose surfing is a pursuit for satisfaction and joy now, whilst meditation is about both now and the future. Just forty minutes of quiet time gave me the feeling that I had actually achieved something worthwhile this year, already!
I would have thought it far more difficult to sacrifice my surfing and yet I am surprised by the upside! Perhaps it is all about sacrifice for the right reasons that make the sacrifice that much more valuable and palatable!
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