Who's your Daddy?

Fatherhood is a special skill. I suppose just like motherhood or Chief Engineer or Goal Keeper. Most people inherently understand that they are not goal keeper material and shy away from the sport of football. This is not so true for fatherhood. Most of us find our way there thinking that we are knowledgable in this simple field only to be humbled time and again by reality.

It would seem that the lot of the father is one of self discovery. With time, some things work and others fail dismally. Sometimes the things that worked once never work again and often the opposite is just as true. Simply speaking there is no pattern or formula that will make you into a good dad.

Pity really, as one thing children really need right now is a rock like father figure that they can fling their arms around with the conviction that they are well and truly loved. Sadly what children generally get are men trying to find their own meaning and relevance in life. This in itself cannot be a bad thing except of course if the learning process is complete when the father is no longer required, i.e. when children are all grown up.

There are many times when I am sure that I have failed my two boys. There are other times when I know it with absolute certainty. Fatherhood it would seem, does not just happen. Instead fathers need to actively be fathers. This requires an extraordinary amount of commitment and effort as this is one demanding role. Pity that most men of today have no idea that it is so!

Being a role model and example is certainly one way of communicating a way of life to our children, but is this sufficient when there are so many messages out there competing for their attention. How do we ‘fathers’ remain relevant in our children’s lives and ensure that they grow up to be forces of good in a world gone mad?

Some possibilities include time and commitment spent doing things that your children enjoy, the same things you probably hate! Planning is vital to ensure that the right conversations are had and your child’s questions answered honestly. Traditions are a critically important way of grounding especially important stuff in our children’s imagination. If you don’t have any traditions, make some! And then play some!

I seem to have all of the right intentions to be a great dad, but intentions are just not good enough!

Life seems to be filled with things that I need to do better