Its all going down over here

This weekend was interesting.

We took a trip to Hermanus to introduce my mom and my in laws to the whales. Instead the only Wales we got to see were the ones the Springboks narrowly beat in their opening world cup rugby match. The drive was lovely through some majestic Cape scenery, reinforcing how privileged we are to live in such a place.

Then there was a dinner party that ended up being more of a party than dinner. Many new stories created that shall be rehashed at dinner parties for years to come...

Our idyllic street of which I have waxed lyrical so many times of late became the scene of two attempted murders and a killing. Now that you have gotten back into the chair you just fell off, it should be mentioned that all who live here are healthy and safe, but understandably traumatised. I will keep you in suspense on this one...

The men’s breakfast I MC’d was well attended and most enjoyable. There is something to be said for the camaraderie of men. Our guest speaker had a particularly poignant message for men, by all accounts, one of his pet topics.

His view on love is that it is a sacrifice. When one gets married, one sacrifices one’s life for one’s partner. Theoretically the partner does the same thing. In essence love wants nothing in return! If you are in a marriage where you are expecting to get something out, then you have the wrong idea. Those with children already well know how much of life is sacrificed to give ones offspring the best chances in life. Christianity too is also a sacrifice of our lives for Christ, the taking of the difficult road, the making of the hard choices, the keeping of high morals and values. The speakers challenge to men was to stand up and make a difference. To sacrifice our lives for the betterment of society which will mean tough decisions, and stands on issues others will ridicule.

One can imagine how much better marriage would work if we were in it for our partner alone. Looking after them and making their lives better in any way we could. Imagine how difficult that would be, and how rewarding. Imagine how our children would learn by our example.

Very simply, anything good in this world is going to be difficult and will start with each of us taking a stand and suffering the consequences.

The Gentle Way

I like the idea of my children doing Judo except for the part when they actually do it!

In my short career as a parent, there is nothing that has had me as anxious as sending my son into a Judo fight. Move aside super high jungle gyms, playing in a busy street, skating half pipes, and even school homework. Judo is war, boy on boy, or girl on girl, each battling for the tiniest advantage. Opportunities get seized by the quickest thinkers, who then unleash a violent throw and shatter the other poor kid’s dreams.

This week is the week of the South African Judo nationals. The Nationals are big with at least 1,000 spectators crammed into the stands. Intimidating, tough, and up to each competitor to decide how far he or she is willing to push.

Luke put in an incredible effort on Monday, taking a bronze medal in his weight class. Not bad in a division containing 17 of the country's best competitors! Even his mother was heard to be screaming from the side!

This sport teaches kids so much; to fend for oneself, to think fast and execute, to rise above threatening situations, perseverance, discipline, and how to conquer fear. And then there are the physical benefits, the camaraderie, lessons in pain management, and learning to lose with honour.

This sport has incredible things to offer children. Watching my son walk out there on his own, made me realise just how much he has gained in a relatively short time. I cannot even describe the feelings that go through me as I stand on the side and watch him fend for himself. It has certainly helped me to start letting go of the belief that I can control everything in my children’s life. It was rather evident that all of this was way out of my control. My excitement for my child is not about the medal but more how he stood up to a tough challenge on his own, pointing the way forward for how he will deal with the tough life battles to come!

However, it remains incredibly difficult to watch your kid being thumped or even your kid thumping another's kid. I suppose this parental discomfort is worth all the benefits even if I watch with my eyes closed!