Go Slow

No time to think! Days are spent in a frenzy of activity. Mondays morph into Fridays without respite. Weeks fly by, hardly acknowledged as being different to the ones that preceded them.

My children have sprinkled fairy dust on themselves, growing them like weeds in the night, completely unnoticed by myself. Both were caught out on a Judo scale, each a tenth heavier than just a couple of weeks ago. A perusal of old photographs clearly highlights their slow march to manhood. Even working from home I missed it all. Just too busy!

Then came yesterday, a day as long as my legs. Hours of tedious attention to detail work that sapped my brain of its joy. Bed again a welcome refuge from the demands of my little world. Has my little world grown too big, too demanding, and too out of control? Could this be true given how much I like my world, the freedom, the daily unpredictability, and the value I think I add to other people’s worlds?

No my world is not the problem, but perhaps the speed with which it spins. I think of Atlas with the world balanced on his shoulders and wonder if he would hear my plea. Just a little slower, old man! I know the control is within my grasp. Old Atlas is a myth, I can make it all stop.

Do I want to stop? Perhaps this nascent drive for action and results is a rush in itself. Without it, I may be lost and adrift in a sea of meaninglessness. Perhaps a pause is the better option, a meaningful combination of pace and delivery against nurturing time out for my own well being.

Even this writing has bled some of the frustration from my fingertips, washing my keyboard clean of its fear of touch. Such a short time spent within, and yet so remarkable a feeling of calm and acceptance. My drug of choice is not the pace of delivery but rather the short periods of introspection that give rise to a deepening of will, which feed every part of my life.

And a smile tugs at my lips.

I am sitting in my new office typing away merrily, filled with a different kind of inspiration. The air conditioning is assisted by a sultry breeze out of the south, gently chilling the air. The view is spectacular, hills have carved their way into the landscape and waves crash with abandon. Waves you ask? Yes, thundering waves rolling around the point off Victoria Bay. Vic Bay is a tiny, beautiful little place nestled on the coast just outside of George. Me thinks my office should always be here – it is magnificent and provides food for the soul. I am certainly tempted to be in the surf riding the backs of these beasts. Then again I am enjoying the soulfulness and majesty of the place and soaking it all up.

I need to quote again from Thomas Moore – he talks about the need for myth, ritual and spiritual life in terms of the nourishment of the soul.

“If we could grasp this simple idea, that some actions may not have an effect on actual life but speak instead to the soul, and if we could let go of the dominant role of function in so many things that we do, then we might give more to the soul every day.”

I have always been on the other extreme, a man on a mission! I like to know what I am doing and why. I have boundless energy and yet I do not like to waste it on any useless exercises. I like to be focused, there can be not a second wasted on frivolous activity! This was the old me. I have started to feel the benefit of just being. By this I mean, just enjoying browsing in a book store, or watching whales in the sea, or soaking up the special atmosphere of Vic Bay. These are things that are I have started to do without purpose, yet their very purpose is to care for me in a way that I have yet to understand. Bring on this new year – I intend to live a life filled with moments that are deep and pleasing because they help me become, well more me!