Go Slow

No time to think! Days are spent in a frenzy of activity. Mondays morph into Fridays without respite. Weeks fly by, hardly acknowledged as being different to the ones that preceded them.

My children have sprinkled fairy dust on themselves, growing them like weeds in the night, completely unnoticed by myself. Both were caught out on a Judo scale, each a tenth heavier than just a couple of weeks ago. A perusal of old photographs clearly highlights their slow march to manhood. Even working from home I missed it all. Just too busy!

Then came yesterday, a day as long as my legs. Hours of tedious attention to detail work that sapped my brain of its joy. Bed again a welcome refuge from the demands of my little world. Has my little world grown too big, too demanding, and too out of control? Could this be true given how much I like my world, the freedom, the daily unpredictability, and the value I think I add to other people’s worlds?

No my world is not the problem, but perhaps the speed with which it spins. I think of Atlas with the world balanced on his shoulders and wonder if he would hear my plea. Just a little slower, old man! I know the control is within my grasp. Old Atlas is a myth, I can make it all stop.

Do I want to stop? Perhaps this nascent drive for action and results is a rush in itself. Without it, I may be lost and adrift in a sea of meaninglessness. Perhaps a pause is the better option, a meaningful combination of pace and delivery against nurturing time out for my own well being.

Even this writing has bled some of the frustration from my fingertips, washing my keyboard clean of its fear of touch. Such a short time spent within, and yet so remarkable a feeling of calm and acceptance. My drug of choice is not the pace of delivery but rather the short periods of introspection that give rise to a deepening of will, which feed every part of my life.

And a smile tugs at my lips.

Fun and Fulfilment

I am feeling most fulfilled at the moment. I love enjoying what I am doing. It does not happen often, so when it does, it is a sensation to be savoured.


So what has made the difference you make ask?

Community projects! Strange but true! The project I had planned to be spending my time on was postponed, leaving me with a four week gap in work. The fact that this delay has taken place over Christmas has meant that this time has been my own. An incredible gift! It has also given me lots of time to spend on my community projects.

There is a small organisation called the Better Life Organisation which we have created in the last couple of days. It has the aim of improving the lives of people in our area that will never be able to improve their lives on their own. In essence the focus is on the sick, elderly, or disabled. Last year we managed to rebuild 5 houses, this year, with our new organisation, we hope to do a whole lot more.

There is also an incredibly exciting project involving film, religion, and internet broadcasting. Very interesting and just up my alley! This project will require lots of funding through Angel Investors and funding agencies. Things I never dreamt I would ever deal with! There is a whole lot of challenge in seeing if you can not only launch a whole new organisation but also find a way to do it even though it will always make a frightful loss!

And then there is my False Bay paddle. The idea is still in concept phase but I have started talking to other long distance paddlers, as well as shark experts in False Bay. This thing is going to require heaps of work in order to make it a reality. But it just seems like so much fun!

Soon I hope to be bored with all of this fun and actually go and do some work that will bring in an income!