Have my Monster

Matthew and I had a little argument yesterday.

He had drawn up a card for one his friends’ birthday. On it he was busy writing the access details to his Moshe Monster. Now for anyone not in the know, a Moshe Monster is a character one designs and plays in a kids game on the internet.

My boys have played this game over the last couple of years and have created and played with many of these monsters.  They have often shared the access details with other children and been horrified when these other children have spent all of their rocks or redecorated their houses in very poor taste.

I advised Matthew not to share the access details of his latest Monster. He could not understand my point of view; it is his friend’s birthday after all! It was only later when I replayed this incident in my mind that I realised he had been arguing for the concept of sharing and I had argued against it. A complete reversal in roles! Even more importantly, this was something he had made himself with his friend in mind. As a parent, things to be applauded in my child!

The world continues to change rapidly. As parents, we need to look beyond the obvious and into the deeper motivations that drive our children. It is so easy to ram home the wrong lessons for the right reasons and squander the wonderful opportunities we have to impart real wisdom.

Unemployed and Willing

A heap of poles in an ugly pile of rubbish, long ones and short. Wet, slimy, and dripping the autumn leaves that have coated them over the last couple of months. A truck load of sand looked on, preferring to be smoothed over the sloping ground but happy to be a pile. Everything just waiting...

For us!!! The jungle gym team...

Yup, building jungle gyms again! But this one was slightly different. We worked really really hard! OK, that not be why this one was different.

Building jungle gyms in poor areas generally results in people asking me for a job. It is kind of difficult to hire in help when you yourself are doing the job for nothing. Trust me, everyone who asks, finds this a difficult thing to believe, that anyone would willingly work for nothing. After the digging of 6 deep holes, a youngster sauntered up to the fence and asked the ‘can you give me a job’ question. I gave the usual answer together with the usual challenge that he was welcome to help for the day. For Nothing!

For the first time ever, this chap said OK he would work for nothing. We were flabbergasted and confirmed many times that we would not be paying for his services. 21 year old Bongani just smiled and said he may learn something and that would be good. He worked like a Trojan and without his help; we would never have finished the job.

In the end the jungle gym looked great but it was Bongani who really made me think. You have to wonder at the desperation that makes a 21 year old unemployed youth take on a non paying hard working job for a day just so that he may learn some skills. Simple skills like using a hacksaw and adjustable wrenches. That must be tough! He still lives with his mother who is a domestic worker for a family in town. She supports him and a younger brother and sister.

It was a window into life in one of the poorer areas of South Africa and it was not pretty. I happily paid the chap for his services, much to his surprise, knowing that I got more out of working with him that he could ever imagine.

Perhaps a small lesson here is that so many of us are filled with all sorts of skills and that sharing those skills could really make a big difference in other people’s lives!

More than Enough

My wife and I spent Saturday doing some serious spring cleaning. Not because it is spring but rather because of an unshakable feeling that we have too much stuff. We have so much that just sits in drawers and cupboards and never gets used. What a waste, when so many people living just a few kilometres from our house could really make great use of it all.

Anyhow, we worked hard and late and forgot to plan for dinner. Hence why I found myself with a mound of take aways on the front seat of my car. Whilst passing a number of people hunched into their clothes against the cold and walking tiredly home, I had an interesting thought. What if I stopped and randomly handed one of them a packet of hot chips? Surely I had more than enough food to feed my family? And even if it was not enough, I have more than enough other food at home...

Then I really got to thinking. How would I know that the person I chose to feed deserved my gift? How would I know that they would not be offended?

So I drove on home...

I am such an idiot. We had a great meal and we had food left over. I felt really bad. Nothing like having a charitable thought and not following through! Pathetic!

I love receiving stuff. It does not matter what it is, it is just great to get something for nothing. I have no doubt that anyone out there would be happy for the unexpected random act of kindness. Perhaps they would then pass it on and create a utopian chain of joy. Perhaps they would just have eaten my measly packet of chips and felt full for the first time in the day, or week, or even the month!

I am still kicking myself that I did not share last night. I have more than enough, but most people in my country have almost nothing, and little chance of more!

Then again, there is always today!