Time with my boys

Weeks like this past week do not come often enough; weeks filled with family breakthroughs!

One of Matthew’s friends was very excited about the prospect of learning to surf. This somehow pushed the right buttons, causing Matthew to ask to accompany his friend for a week of surf school. It is not like I have not tried to get Matthew surfing; instead all of our sessions have ended in frustration as he refused to step into the water. The water, of course, is an essential ingredient for surfing! Some time back, I ascribed his reluctance to a fear of the sea, and decided not to push the issue. Or at least not too much!

Matthew began his first lesson with a multitude of excuses as to why he was not going to surf. The coach told him to stop whining and get in the water. He duly did so, and then discovered a new passion. Five lessons later and he has been transformed into an eager surfing beaver. So much so that he enquired if it was too late to ask Santa for a surfboard for Christmas. Oh yes, far too late! He is an absolute natural on a board, even better than Luke, who represented Boland at that age. To watch my son who could not face the sea, suddenly execute a perfect back hand rail grab turn, made me shake my head in amazement.

I can only wonder what all the fuss has been about. I also am amazed at the powerful influence a friend can be, even at such a young age...

Whilst Matt was safely surfing with surf school, Luke and I found ourselves with time on our hands and a sea at our feet. We needed no convincing to make the most of our position.

Luke has always been a lazy sportsman, instinctively relying on natural talent, of which he has been blessed with oodles. The sea is a wonderful leveller. It eats you up and spits you out if you are lazy. Paddling for Luke has always been too much effort and so he has not bothered too much, exiting at the first twinge of tiredness in his arms. This week I have watched him grow from this good but lazy surfer into a stylish confident wave shredder. Our local beach hosted some big waves this week, which meant Luke has had to paddle for his life to get to backline. Once there he had to then catch waves up to three times his size. By the end of the week he was comfortable surfing anywhere in the line up, and taking off on absolutely anything. His performance each day eclipsed the previous day’s best ever performance. There is nothing that compares to a dad’s pride when other surfers in the water cheer on your little son and shake their heads in wonder!

An even more bizarre event took place when Luke cleaned his room; without having being asked to do so. He then happily mowed the lawn just before Christmas and even wanted to learn how to use the weedeater as well! A neighbour had roped him into watering their garden while they are away. The maturity he has shown in dealing with this daily task has been nothing short of amazing. Boy, has he grown up before my eyes, and in just a couple of days.

I am so blessed to have been able to spend this time with my boys. I have to wonder how much all of the ‘dad focussed’ time has contributed to these changes. And then I have to wonder why I have not invested even more time in their lives...

Holidays

My final project for the year was delivered on Wednesday last week. A little early in the Christmas season, but then again, nobody in the FMCG industry wants to see a consultant in their busiest period of the year. It does of course play havoc with cash flow; no paying work over December and January but then again I am not complaining.

It does provide me with the most amazing opportunity to spend good quality time with my children. Lots of it!

I have two goals for this holiday; as much family time as possible and get super fit.

Luke and I have been out surfing the last three days. I love surfing with Luke, and it meets two of my holiday goals at the same time. My surfing experience with Luke has been dramatically enhanced by an early Christmas present from my family, a surfboard called a fish. It is fatter and thicker than normal which enables one to surf the typically blown out mush that our local break offers in summer. This way Luke and I can surf together and we can both have loads of fun!

My quality time with the boys has included teaching them some new skills. This weekend Luke mowed the lawn for the first time. Now don’t laugh, mowing properly is a skill. One needs to be attuned to the grass, the mower, and most importantly ones toes.

Some of the new skills are a little obscure, like Blackjack and poker. Every boy needs to know how to play these card games and Luke and Matt are having loads of fun. I am fascinated to see the maths skills at work in blackjack, who would have thought. Perhaps by the end of the holiday, I will have trained them to count cards…

I think today, we will learn all about knots!!

A lesson in icing

Just finished icing the Christmas cake!


You are probably thinking that this is not a normal skill for a guy, but I just love Christmas cake! I also like it the way I like it; no nuts, full of brandy, and lots of marzipan. Of course my specific likes have meant that the only way I get it the way I want it, is to make it myself! And so I have had to learn how to make it and get it right. I sincerely believe that one can learn and conquer anything. At least, this is the message I want my children to get!

Making a cake is also not too far a stretch...

Once the icing was on, the boys and I attempted to decorate the top with the leftovers. Needless to say, we have a lot of training to do, if we ever hope to get that part right!!

Beaten up

Some 24 years ago, I used to model a beautiful judogi on occasion in a competitive environment. Judo, the gentle art, is not that gentle when one is faced with an opponent determined to wipe the floor with your snot. Add in the mothers of those fierce opponents, who are at least six times my size, yelling helpful comments to their children like; ‘kill him’; and you have a recipe for extra chess lessons!

That was a long time ago and yet I managed to earn my stripes on the judo mat. Sometimes I saw many stars and at others I saw many stars but perhaps a couple less than my opponent!

Saturday brought all of that back to me. My father used to avoid judo tournaments as he could not deal with the intensity of the event nor the fact that his son was the object of abuse. Thinking myself well above all of that, I took my children to their first Judo tournament. Both of them have only had a couple of months of experience in the sport but it was a tournament hosted by our own club; and what better way for them to learn and grow in this sport.

I had the joyous job of weighing in all of the male competitors together with Wild Willie, the father of another father and sons combination in the club. Weighing in the men meant that I got to see them all in their jocks, a rather intimidating experience considering the size and muscle definition of those that would be in my weight category. I wondered how I could be afraid to fight yet still support my children in doing the very same thing!

There were only two five year old competitors and one was my son and the other Wild Willie’s. Both of their names were called out and off they went down to the mat; a competitor area only. There Matt was fitted with a blue belt whilst Theo got a white one (in order to clearly identify them to the judges). I could not help imagining what was going through his mind. As a five year old in this strange environment, on centre stage, with heaps of people watching, following the bewildering amount of formality in terms of bows and etiquette, and waiting to have a fight?

As usual this little guy surprised me; nonchalantly managing the formalities and squaring up to his mate with a smile on his face. He then fought hard and was beaten. He then got up, shook Theo’s hand, and walked off most satisfied with his performance. I cannot explain how proud I was just that he had done it at all.

Luke later got onto the mat and faced off against an incredibly skilled chap. Luke held him off for a little while, but was then thrown spectacularly, probably the best throw in the tournament! Unfortunately it hurt and the Lukester was most upset. He sucked up his tears and fought twice more, winning one and drawing one.

Afterwards both my children said that Judo was sore! I wondered if I had sent them in too soon, but they both were keen to fight again! I was quite taken aback as this had been a tough encounter for them, one of life’s really tough lessons!

It now looks like dad is going to have to put himself out on the mat too, risking failure and plenty of pain, because just maybe I will be successful! And if not, my children will see that it is OK to fail if you give it your best!

Boys, Balls, Babies, Birth

I have to share this story – all names omitted to protect the innocent, and they really are innocent!

One of my son’s friends came over to play for the afternoon. My wife happened to be nearby and overheard their conversation, which was more than a little interesting. Babies it would seem have a way of getting everyone to talk about them even thought they are not yet present!

This kid asked my son if he knew how babies are born. My son replied of course, although he is quite sure that they are mainly cut out ala a discussion with his mother about his brother’s birth. This child then said to my son, “Do you know that you have to be married to have a baby?’ Again my son replied, ‘of course!’ He then added, ‘it’s because the men have the balls!’ Fair enough!

At this point, this child turns to my wife and asks, ‘so what do the balls taste like?’

Oh Boy!